Do you believe that being a stay at home mom is a "luxury" and not a real jobb? (Page 2)
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If the kids are really young it’s okay. My coworkers wife is a stay at home mom with a total of three kids. Two are young, but he said once they are in school she will be a teachers aid. I just can’t put my head around the women that can be a stay at home mom when there is no kids at home anymore. Plus another person I know his daughter was pregnant with their second and she wanted to be a stay at home mom. I know a teacher that was as well and then went back to teaching after her kids were out of the house, like school.
Why do you ask this question then take it upon yourself to correct and admonish anyone who disagrees with you.
Because you’re not interested in asking a question, but standing on a soapbox because of your own personal experiences.
Kinda lame. And no, being a stay at home mom is not a job.
“Oh darn! I don’t have to go into the office and be a wage slave for some callous boss and I get to spend time with my kids and teach them things. Oh the humanity! If only I got to work in a cubicle and have a thirty minute lunch break!”
🙄
That's like the point of this site to share opinions. If i left this randomly open without my own opinion being stated it would not lead into much. Reason why like 80% of the questions here go down the drain since the asker isn't sharing their side/getting opposing opinions to keep things going.
And there isn't much time to be spent with my kids in that way when I'm busy purely just keeping them alive. Also for sure would die to have a lunch break to eat without a tiny human crying at me
I have to be, I got a nasty surprise at Christmas when my oldest dad sent a Christmas card with a letter asking to remove from the birth certificate because it was affecting him getting a girlfriend
Oof that sounds bad
He's got it into his head she isn't his despite having two DNA tests and her having his eyes he still insists when I was raped I payed them to get pregnant.
This guy sounds crazy
i don’t consider it a glamorous thing it’s definitely work but it is not as hard as a real job. i know lots of moronic women that can take care of a couple kids but wouldn’t last a week at a job that required tons of heavy labor or critical thinking. The luxury of it is as a woman actually having the choice to not have to work and be able to stay at home. I just roll my eyes at the feminists that think women have been so oppressed staying home and take caring of the family/home while men were literally off killing themselves
working in construction, coal mines, oil rigs etc.🤦♂️
Eh according to my husband it's about 10x times harder then his job. He's gonna get off for 3 months of baby leave here soon and is not looking forward to caring for the older kids so that I can watch the baby
that sounds anecdotal at best
Have it heard it from multiple working dads and moms that they prefer going to work cuz it's a break from the kids like I'm low key a little jealous of them
@Apple1996 if you truly are jealous, and would like to work a traditional job instead of being at home, even part of the time, then you could get a part-time job as "a break". Somewhere else it was estimated about $1200/week to get childcare for your kids, and you said $50K-$80K/year, so using those numbers if you had a part time job working say 2-3 days a week and earning just $500 or so, then you could get your wish and trade some housewifing time for some other job.
Even if you made $0 profit from the trade, but truly would prefer to be at a trad job than at home, it would be worth it. It's fine to prefer and choose to stay at home also, but then I wouldn't say you're jealous since it's an option you're not choosing. Pros and cons to both choices.
@zeitgeist057 its not that simple just due to my husband's current job I couldn't work even if I had 0 kids. I'm also making sacrifices in that area as a spouse too so with my kids+having to be a support system for my husband's job there is no room to work even if I wanted to
oh I see, well hopefully it's all worth it? :)
@zeitgeist057 they are definitely worth all the work it takes to care for them
husband included? lol, I was referring to supporting his job
In high school I told my Spanish teacher, "Mi mamá no trabaja, se queda en casa." Oh man did she give me an earful! She said just because it's not a "job job" doesn't mean she doesn't work. Oh man did I get an earful. But I still think it's much better than working a 9 to 5.
Before we had kids we made the decision that my wife would stay at home with the kids and we would live on one income. It was a struggle at times but we did not want our kids to be raised by strangers. I have no regrets about it.
Didn't you ask this question anonymously earlier today?
Do you believe that being a stay at home mom is a "luxury" and not a real job?
I will give the same reply to this question that I did that question:
In this reality, it IS a privilege to be able to be in a family and stay at home and not work.
Yes asked earlier but was accidently anonymous. Plan on deleting it when I can.
in my opinion not so much a privilege but more a sacrifice for the mom to give up her life to raise the kids
She raises kids from work too. Raising kids is a lot more than just being at home with them.
Working parents pay someone else to raise the child while they work. They aren't the ones actively doing it until they get off work and even then those parents are usually half-ass parenting at that point in the day
Not necessarily.
When I was a kid in the 1960s and 1970s, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. It was a lot easier to do that then because it was a lot easier to survive on a single income - jobs were usually more stable and there was enough money to raise a family.
But, when I was 12 and my sister 8, my mom was 32 and she went to work part-time; we were in school, so she got herself a job and made more money which definitely helped us out.
Ideally, an adult family member cares for the kids who are not yet in school, but, once kids are in school, they are at their "jobs". So, that can give the adults time to do other things. Tending to a home should not be that time-consuming unless you have a large brood or a farm.
Meanwhile, in today's reality unlike 50 years ago, jobs are more unstable and expenses way too high for most families to be able to survive on anything less than two incomes. That's a fact of life.
Fortunately, many of us can work from home now and that does help the stay-at-home mom both work and care for kids.
Those families that have to have two incomes must just have no idea how to manage finances. It would cost me and my husband pouring all of our money into a daycare if I wanted to work.
Also ditching the kiddos at school to work doesn't work out for big families like I'm always gonna have kids at home just due to age gaps
Where you live and what your circumstances are is not the same as other peoples.
As for daycare, every family has their own cost-benefit analysis to do.
If you are spending on daycare over 50% of your take-home from one job, it might just be better to not work and be home with the kids since raising kids is more than just a fiscal decision.
Personally, like you, I'd have wanted either me or my wife to be the kids when very young or, at worst, work from home (preferably part-time) while the other one works. But, in the long-run, the extra money is needed.
If you plan of having kids with age gaps, then great! You have slave labor to help out! Lord knows how many families are large just for that reason as the older kids are de facto babysitters for the younger kids. Across the street from me was a family of 10. The eldest child was born in 1948, 5 years after my mom; the youngest was born 16.5 years later - about 1.5 years after me.
Meanwhile, yYou might as well live with your parents too - or his. Multigenerational homes are again becoming popular after having waned for about 50 years. When I was born, we lived with my paternal grandparents and my grandfather's mother. 6 of us spread over 4 generations. 5 adults to care for me. My father and grandparents worked, but my mom was home as was my father's grandmother. It certainly helps sharing the duty.
So, you see, there's really always been daycare - but it was done by family.
It was only when families started spreading out and not be multigenerational that "daycare" started to become an industry.
Back to your original question, being a stay-at-home mom isn't a luxury but it's better than having to do a 40-hour (or more) "real job". Pretty much every parent on Earth would rather stay at home with the kids and putz around the house than do a real fucking job with stress.
The real job with "stress" offers payment and breaks. Which is far better then no pay or breaks of being a stay at home mom. Literally 24/7 never ending job 🙄
LOL. You need to be in the working world a little more.
For example, I am a contractor as an increasing number of people are.
I work for the largest contracting company on Earth.
The paramount law:
You work, you get paid.
You don't work, you don't get paid.
That's it.
No benefits.
No paid-time off.
Nothing.
Going to an office? Costs money. Have to dress nice. Public toilets. Performance reviews. Office drama. Annoying calls from customers, bosses, or other idiots.
Happiness = Control & Freedom.
Freedom to do what you want or need to do when you want or need to do it.
Control over your situation which means that you are immune or protected from others adversely affecting your life.
At home, the only people you need to appease are the kids. But you're the boss! You rule!
And... you didn't need to have them! Want less stress? Have less kids!
In the working world, loyalty is paid with a pink-slip... like the one I got 29 years ago today and the one I got 20 years ago this week. Then you have to put on an act to beg someone else so you can be their new slave.
Look, really, you've answered your own question.
You prefer the life of being a stay-at-home mom.
That's fine.
But the reason you chose it is because you know, for a variety of reasons, that it's better than the alternative of having to work in the real world.
Is staying at home a luxury? No, there's lots of work to do to keep a home and family operating smoothly.
Is is better than being a paid slave in the real world? Most definitely.
I've said all I want to say on this topic and am muting.
The School of Hard Knocks will teach you that which I can't.
Good luck!
Yeah stay at home mom would only fly until the kids go to school at age 3, only daycare I saw so far in my area wants like $307 a week for a kid, so if we only have one kid, yeah you are working, 2 kids under 3 years old I could see how work would almost not be worth it, but if she's home all day she's doing all the cleaning, cooking and laundry, I aintnhaving a coach potato that thinks she's done all she has to by "saving" 600 a week.
My kids didn't go to school till 5/6. Prek cost money about the same as daycare here
And that's super cheap for daycare here it's like 800+ a week for one kid
I see it as a job someone has to raise the kids and it's builds better bonds with children I feel when a parent is around the child a lot. Instead of kids that grew up like me, mom always gone so I did whatever I wanted & then had a Kid but like, I know some kids who still had both and did the same thing but like I think it slims the chances of that Abit ahahaha
I said it is a real job because it is. But for the mom staying at home with the kids it can also be a privilege. Not the “she is privileged” to be able to do it, but that it is a privilege to be with your kids to import your wisdom on your kids.
Impart not import. lol
It's both, to be able to stay home and raise your family is a privilege in today's society. Woman are expected to work and society and costs have made it hard for women not to work. For a women to choose to stay home is work for them cooking, cleaning, etc. But you have to think of how women are expected to do this on top of their job depending on who their married to. I think in today's society it's important that women go back to their homes and families. Children need to be homeschooled and learn information and facts before they learn to become in the words of Pink Floyd "another brick in the wall".
I'd say it's both at the same time. Taking care of children isn't easy and it's a big responsibility, so it's like a full time job. However I'd also consider it a luxury since you don't have to work to support the child.
So.. when people say it’s a luxury or privilege they aren’t demeaning the work of a stay at home mom/dad. They don’t mean that it’s not hard work they’re saying it’s basically a blessing/privilege that one partner is able to stay at home and take care of the kids. You both do not have to work full time jobs to get money/resources to care for your kids. One income is enough. I voted A.
Sure the laundry does itself, food magically appears on the table, the house is self cleaning. People are delusional if they think its not a "job"
Lol it would be so great if all those things magically got done but they def don't 😂
I would prefer to take care of my own children during those formative years. Yes, that likely means one income for the family, if it’s a two parent household, but it could also be a great benefit of having one person go to work while the other manages a household.
The luxury and privilege is the fact you get to be with your children and watch them grow and do all those ‘firsts’.
Being a stay at home mother is a stressful job. And it’s unpaid. Think about hiring a full time nanny, a cleaner and a cook. That’s how much you would pay for just some of what a mother does.
Yes, after the first ~2-3 years, it's really not neccessary, until then it's just a way to save money on child nursery.
That said, if both parents agree; Do what you want to do.
Kids still need their moms even past baby/toddler aged
Certainly, just not every minute of the day.
It's both. It's as luxury to pour that much attention into a young child. It's the equivalent to a private education to a state one. Still work but costs more
What a GREAT question. It is solidly, 100% a real, full time job.
taking care of kids is hatd work. i think a lot of men would agree that they would rather be workinh than take care of children so one shouldn't be underestimating stay at home moms.
No manvdisputes that. Been there and done that , still going on our twelveth child . At home + bread winner + whatever needs to be addressed. Wife's great herself. It's other women who have hatred to this concept.