If you have ashes a Q three times and the person had not answered and acted confused, do you consider if you’ve been clear, or just assume they lying?

[VIVANT]

Not asking for something or to do something, just asking like for clarity.

Google image

I reconsider how I’m asking and try to be explicitly clear

I just assume they are faking bc whose confused after 3X

Other

Updates

+1 y

ASKED* not ashes 🤭

[Anonymous]

Ironically let me make sure I am understanding you correctly;

On the one hand I have burnt many things into ashes and on the other hand I have three Q's.

People around me are confused.

To whom do i assign blame?

Well I suppose some comination of how far away a person is from me and how stupid they look.

The only thing about this which is completely obvious is that it is not my fault.

[VIVANT]

Lol how stupid they look 👀 😂

[Lliam]

I don't like to assume. But I'd have to guess that they were either stupid or obfuscating. If I tried rephrasing the question three times and they still didn't get it and the didn't even try to understand by asking questions, my respect for them would diminish. My tendency would be to quite trying to engage with them on that topic.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I’m the same except sometimes I don’t rephrase bc I’m thinking if they are confused maybe they need time to process which switching it up can interfere with. Or they have anxiety and need time to answer. But after 3X I’ll re phrase or just leave it.

I try for the non assho! es bc you never really know what’s up but my inclination is they are probably just d*ck heads. If they are just slid, that’s not their fault of course. But in that case it’s gonna be evident and I wouldn’t be wondering 😂

[Lliam]

Yup. That makes sense.

[melanieeeB]

Nah I think to myself that they did hear me the first time and me asking for the 3rd time is a favor.. so I ain't asking a 4th time

[Jennz6]

Update the question?

[VIVANT]

I feel like you are probably very patient ☺️

[Paul_in_Indy]

Why are you continuing to ask? Is it an important question? A question you have a right to expect an answer to? A question that affects the wellfare of the person to whom it is directed? If I posed a question thrice without response, I would let it go.

[VIVANT]

Perhaps the answer affects the welfare of the person, you want them to have a chance to answer & they are acting confused so you have to decide if you’re going to help them out or just leave them out.

[Paul_in_Indy]

If it concerns their welfare, then you have a responsibility to rephrase the question clearly, sit them down, help them understand. You can’t just continue to repeat yourself.

[Anonymous]

I take the entire person in to account. Some people are habitual liars. But some just don't communicate well. You ever know those people that start in the middle of a story. They could just be bad communicators, misunderstand you and due to thier bad communication maybe you misunderstand them. And then there's always the final possibility... they 're just stupid.

[VIVANT]

Lol I prefer to think of it as ‘unique in thought pattern ‘ and I like to think in those cases it would be evident but I guess you never know. Esp if someone gets annoyed bc they are confused. That is why I try not to assume tho it can be difficult. Sone people are just avoiders and since you dk if that’s the case you can start to feel like an idiot yourself. It’s a fine line between exercising patience “ just in case” and not being a door. I don't know I used to struggle more with this, I’m way better at putting my ego out of the way but I slip at times. I really do worry the person may have so many reasons that are not malicious so I try to not get annoyed, difficult tho.

I have a friend he’s not at all dumb in fact very intelligent but to talk casually with him you’d never know. He refuses it vent use words like I he she we , it’s just “thought we’d go out tonight “ says he here soon” “ will be late” I only know wtf he’s talking about bc we’re close. I’ve no clue how other people can speak with him 😂 I mean he’s on a role if it’s academic but revisit convo f’ing impossible. And he is an example of the ‘mid convo starters’ tho he’ll jump to another convo without letting me know.

He runs into a problem where girls think he’s got game lol bc of the cryptic. So they go after him then get mad bc he continues to be himself. Bc they thought it wasn’t really him. But a seduction like mysterious guy 😂 serves them right. Course he’s dumb founded when it happens. I feel bad for him. Tho I don't know if he mind so much now. I hope he meets like a patient librarian one day or something. For me he’s like a brother. And he’s not why I’m asking this question. In his case I can ask something 100 times he can still get confused but I know to just reviewer things or make sure his head phones are off 🤦🏻‍♀️

[VIVANT]

Dope* not door. I guess door isn’t far off from door knob lol

[Opinion Owner]

I think the best thing I learned in life is to not put MY EXPECTATIONS on other people. As I've said before on here, I ASSUME people are lying to me at least 50% of the time. I seldom get mad because I EXPECT them to do it. I don't confront people or call them on it. But if I feel it's too commonplace I just kinda interact with them less until I just have little or no dealings with them anymore.

[MrCommodore]

I tend to be really patient with people IRL, as we sometimes overlook challenges some people face privately.

[VIVANT]

Yup I try. When I fil to it’s usually bc I took something personally and I’m guarding my ego. 😬

[VIVANT]

Fail*

[Jamie05rhs]

I think you're overthinking, @VIVANT. (This is my honest opinion.)

(And yes, I know you HATE when people say that ("overthinking."). I'm sorry. But I truly believe that it applies in this case.)

[Jamie05rhs]

Why don't you just communicate with them and clarify your question when they ask for clarification?

[Jamie05rhs]

Also, I love the Jackie Chan meme, by the way. Lol

[Jamie05rhs]

Ironically, though, I voted B. 😂

[VIVANT]

😂😂

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol.

[VIVANT]

Oh no problem. It’s not a situation I’m trying to solve. I’m just interested in how people approach this kind of thing. I don’t know what you mean by over thinking in this case. If you just mean you’d try to communicate with them, in my opinion that is “clarifying”, so you just vote B as you did. I call clarifying communication— so we’re not saying something different 😂

[VIVANT]

No you should cite A I meant 😂

[VIVANT]

Vote*

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT I said overthinking because you said they "acted confused.". So you're accusing them of acting. And that would be classified as assuming, which is under the umbrella of overthinking. 😇

[VIVANT]

They said “hey i’m confused!” 😄

Ok now answer 😛

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Exactly. They're confused. So un-confuse them. Lol

[VIVANT]

Right! I agree.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay; thanks! ☺️

[VIVANT]

😊😊☺️*

[MysticDevice]

I actually get irritated after that many times lol. And by then I'll speak very slowly but use the same words

[VIVANT]

Yeah, tempting 🤣

[MysticDevice]

Side note, I think your current profile picture is the coolest one yet. You should keep it forever lol

[VIVANT]

Lol thanks a friend made it and I used to hate it then I thought it was cool once I got used to it being art and not a portrait and I thought it’s cool and it’s enough me and not me it works both for being me but also maintaining privacy, and I thought I’ll keep it forever but I’m getting. Bit tired lol 🤣 🙏🏼

[MysticDevice]

I think its really cool. It'd be neat to see more in a similar style

[VIVANT]

I’ll ask him sometime 🙂

[Guardian45]

I'm ND, so I don't process info as fast, or always correctly, especially emotionally-charged statements. I need processing time.

So I try to rephrase or state something clearly and simply.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I understand I tbh j I get confused bc I know most people don’t really have difficulty understanding things “ conventionally”
Even tho I might do I assume I’m getting her her around tho I decide to see in the side of caution just in case and bc I hate ambiguity BUT bc I don’t always really believe I’m being misunderstood I may not be as clear as I could which will kind of suck esp after all that. I mostly think like ok you got this far, make sure everyone is on the same page. If they are playing games don’t let that be your problem. What I find odd is when people act confused but get annoyed when you try to better explain. Do you want to understand or not and if not then why ask. Ugh. But yeah it’s complicated bc you really never know who’s genuine.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I reconsider how I’m asking and try to be explicitly clear

[VIVANT]

Bc you’re good 😌

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@VIVANT Thanks for the kind words

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I just stop asking as they clearly don't give a fuck.

[VIVANT]

Sometimes but some people have issues still I hear you 😊

[ChefPapiChulo]

Well I never ask a question more than once. As I never repeat myself. So I’m not sure.

[VIVANT]

That’s fair. It removes a lot of ambiguity 🙂

[ChefPapiChulo]

this was 2 days ago.

[VIVANT]

I haven’t checked the post since. I’m saying good policy bc you never have to think about it

[ChefPapiChulo]

true.

[Sevenpointfive]

i assume they are an idiot and stop talking to them

[Guy13]

I would try to clarify