How has a family secret changed your life?

[Anonymous]

[quaranta]

Around 6 years ago I learnt that my father had always at least one side lover aside from my mother from the very beginning of their relationship which started in their teenage, and he even bought an apartment to be able to go there with his other lovers, taking off money from the family instead. My mother always knew, while he doesn't know she knows. He also pushed to name one of my siblings with the same name of one of his lovers. My mother knew the why of that name. This, on top of psychological abuse she doesn't even realize to receive, but it's very, very heavy.
Considering my mother is a poor vulnerable woman, simple, selfless and anxious, trapped with a situation of heavy caregiving of another family member and she never asked for any respect or argued about anything, neither ever complained, but only swallowed and absorbed like a resilient sponge, yet never once failed/forgot or did less excellently her mother/maid duties, after I learnt about the cheating and the humiliation about the daughter name, I started to become the "alternative" of my father for her, a reliable figure who manages her bureaucracy or money or anything that is too complicated for her, I drive the car when she feels insecure, I go around with her if she feels unsafe, I go with her in any public institution to assist her if she feels anxious, I try to make her life easier and I plan to take her on trips when I will have more money, other than getting paid external help from the caregiving situation at home, to lift her from some mental load. That is now my main goal in life, giving her some happier ending and justice.

[jennifer_bloom]

One secret I learned years ago is my mother hated me and has hated me ever since I was born and she pretended to love me for the sake of her marriage to my dad who earns more money and does most of the house work, so she can sit in a chair and do nothing all day.

[Dana223]

Why did she hate you? Since birth

[jennifer_bloom]

@Dana223 cause kids require food and diaper changes and that takes effort

[Dana223]

How was or is the relationship from your point of view?

[jennifer_bloom]

@Dana223 she was abusive and deserves to be punished

[Dana223]

So it was more of a hate than a wish to be good enough for her

[noemiii]

I just found this out too by my own research on Narcissistic moms and their daughters which I suspect is also probably your mom. Sorry you had to go through that.

[Anonymous]

When I was younger I was told that I'm native American and later I found out I'm African American Puerto Rican and white bc of a DNA test, and I was told by my mom that the reason why my dad lied is bc my grandpa was beat up for being a colored person my mom told me.

[Guy13]

Dramatically ans wish I knew it as a child. It would have answered lots of questions. Never good for a family to keep secrets.

[DermalPunch]

We don't have family secrets. Sometimes scandalous things happen. You take it in stride and keep it moving. We don't "keep up appearances."

[ILoveGettingPegged]

It ruined my entire life and I lost everything when my wife's secret came out after she died. I haven't been able to put things back together since. Our entire life changed.

[peedy]

Don't know they don't tell me what it is because its a secret

[Anonymous]

Kind of. As an adult, after my father passed away, I found out he was gay.

[Anonymous]

Darth Vader is my father.

[Guardian45]

Really? He's mine TOO! THAT BASTARD!

[Guardian45]

YAAAAYYYY!

[Fuentes]

We don't have those

[Anonymous]

Learning who my real dad is

[SnowedIn]

Yep unfortunately.

[TheCloud2]

When my sister revealed I have a micro penis

[Optimistic227]

It gave me a different perspective on life.

[Wise4myage]

Not yet, lol.