How do I stop my friends for being close to me just because of my brains?

[Gloree]

Only one seems real. The rest only contact me when they need my editing abilities on their write up or graphic design or to play guitar or sing at their parties to entertain their guests.

Today one contacted me to make a CV for her and I started feeling used for the first time even though this is what my fiance has been telling me. I'm yet to respond to her SMS cause I'm upset.

Do I start charging them?

[quaranta]

Instead of stopping, if you enjoy helping the others (I do too) you should give more inputs for reciprocation regarding a possible friendship. So for example invite them somewhere, get more participative so that they invite you somewhere too, open yourself with them and be accessible to let them open themselves too. Also, ask them favours too, time to time, instead of doing stuff by yourself or asking your boyfriend, and if you have nothing to ask then you can ask attention regarding something, for example to review accurately something you made, that puts you in doubt and you want external opinions. You can also ask them about information regarding stuff they know like how they managed to do X because you may be interested, etc.
If after some time this doesn't produce any actual friendship and you're getting nothing but excuses and silence, then you should start using excuses and silence too, or charging them saying you're too busy to do like you used to before, when they ask you something. But I'd give the friendship a chance first.

[Guy13]

Friends have to first respect you and I think this is where you are missing it.

Start charging them and I AM SERIOUS. Usually, the ones asking for help are to proud to admit it so they don't bitch about you cutting them off... All that kind of thing stopped happening when I started charging tutor rate for any work or ideas that I did or shared. Money puts an end to lots of the friend fakery. Try it as I can tell you it works. And all that's left to deal with is being the wing man because you are not hard to look at.

They will respect you and you will find people approaching you LOL or grinning and some bitchy too but who cares about the bitchy people anyway.

[Gloree]

Thank you for this. you really understand the situation

[Guy13]

You are welcomed and this is away to handle it so that people are hush-hush about it. "she started charging me." is not likely to be said aloud...

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Yes, start charging them.

People take you and your abilities/services for granted when you are available on call/message and that too for free.

Charge them and see how many contact you again.

I know such people. Just use and forget.

[Mansearching]

If its part of your job as working on a project together, I think that would be a no.

But if its things outside your job and your friends are asking, why not charge them. Guys do. By beer or gas or something else. I see nothing wrong with charging.

[Surely]

At least charge for materials. As for me helping everyone out that ask. I have no problem with helping people that can not do things on their own. Because of a physical disability or condition. As for everyone else. If they don’t ever figure on returning the favor. When needed. Too bad. I’m busy!

[RMorus]

You refuse to do chores of that kind unless you like to do it. That simple.

[Gloree]

these are things I do effortlessly so I always feel like I'm using my abilities to help my friends. but lately I feel used. that's why I'm complaining.

[SnowedIn]

You don't. You can't stop them from being who they are or doing what they do.

Either don't do their work for them or don't respond.

But you can't/won't change them.

[Summeroflove]

Then tell them you want nothing to do with them anymore and how you feel.

[Adam1978]

Yes you do charge your friends for work you didn't take initiative to do. There is a thing favors for favors but that requires them to be useful to you. Otherwise you will keep getting exploited.

[KrakenAttackin]

Confront them. "You only contact me when you need something"! Are they othersie including you in events?

[msc545]

Start asking them for favors or start charging them or start refusing to help them unless they help you with things that you know they can't do.

[harrison102]

Your friends are zombies?