Why do neurotypical peers ALWAYS ditch me or stop speaking to me?

[Anonymous]

Why does this always happen to me. When I left my special needs autism school for public school, I dreamed of having a group of friends like the movies which I know it isn’t real but still. I went to public school for junior high and high school and they were HELL. I was bullied, taunted and pushed around. I started to hang out with these group of girls who I thought were my friends. Turns out they really don’t like me and I overheard that for someone that’s smart, I’m actually a dumbass for not seeing that they don’t really like me and they were using me. They’re planned to kick me out. I stopped speaking to them after I overheard. High school I joined another group and I got kicked out of that because I was exhausting and obsessive. They were my neurodivergent classmates. These three girls (ADHD, dyslexic and Tourette’s) loved having me around but I guess after I said something inappropriate, they threw me out and stopped speaking to me. My whole special needs classmates in the class shunned me. Then I hung out with neurotypical and they ignore me or shun me for not following social norms. Two girls I hung out with they ghosted me without a warning. I did nothing to them. I texted them, called, NOTHING. I said hi but they scowled at me and kept walking. I spent the rest of my high school years alone.

College I thought things would be better but I got kicked out AGAIN. I have up having friends! I am done! They we’re neurotypical.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If the common denominator in all of these situations has just been you, then you’re the problem.
You don’t realize that you already know why, you just want to be told: you said something inappropriate in all of these scenarios, and my guess is you lack awareness of others. This is something you need to train yourself to do, and yes it’s difficult when you can’t read the room but unfortunately that’s going to be how it is until you’re able to examine yourself thoroughly.

[Asker]

Why is the blame all on me? They’re the ones that leave me out because I’m autistic. People have no respect, empathy for autistic people. Ever. What do you mean train myself? I’m never going to be neurotypical. Even my parents said I can’t be doing the things I’m doing out on public like flapping my hands or doing these autistic traits. I need to be more like them and I need to act normal.

[Asker]

What do you mean I ack awareness of others? I am autistic

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I’m also autistic and I also was not always aware of others. That’s why I know what I’m talking about. It’s very easy to get into that space of “I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not my fault” because by the surface-level moral standards, you didn’t. You were just making a joke, being sarcastic, copying what you’ve seen others do and trying to put your spin on it so it seems like “you” instead of where you got it from. The reality is what you see is the surface level, you don’t always have the same privilege of connections with others and trying to act like you do pushes the invisible boundaries and breaks that second set of social rules all neurotypical people know inherently. You have to learn to manually read body language, approach with caution rather than diving straight in, there are parts of who you are that are unpleasant — everyone has these parts, but you don’t show it because showing it makes you seem worse than you are. People only see fragments of you, and whatever fragments you’re choosing to show are being deemed “undesirable.” That’s not their fault for rejecting you, they were just doing what was best for them, as much as that might hurt.

[jahaims]

Because allistics socialize differently than neurodivergents obviously. You are missing social cues etc. Allistics pick up on it and get uncomfortable without knowing why.