Should child support be strictly for the child’s needs?

Question

My son’s mother spends the $440 from my pay to go get her nails done, buy her junk food to supply her fat ass, and other things she doesn’t need as she’s never had money. I’m over here just hearing these things as I’m deployed and all that. I get she should be able to use it on some essential bills such as electric which may be a necessity to keep my child going. So let me know what these funds for my child should be going. As I only make 930 and 440 gets taken out!

Justmeagain1 · Accepted Answer

I’m a parent that pays child support. I have a job that is below national average for wages. I do all travel and pay for this and I ensure all medical is sorted (my child is 10- has high needs) , I additionally pay child support in excess of $1000 a month. In Australia it goes on wages of each parent and time spent with child. Each parent here has a personal responsibility to ensure that they maintain the health and well being of the child. This is law. I don’t feel that I pay too much , I feel I struggle sometimes but never pay too much.
My child is afforded quality clothes , given a good education, has regular contact with me and has excellent external sports that he attends. Without this child support my child would be missing out. He is safe and loved and looked after and needs for nothing even if he wants for things. If there is anything left over it is left over - it benefits him. Ps - I don’t particularly get along with his father so not all is rosey there in fact co parenting is hard work. But my son is worth it- quality of life for him. Becoming a parent is where it stops being about you and becomes about the responsibility and love for another. 🤷‍♀️

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I can imagine how frustrating this is for you. I would be upset too! You can't see what's going on with him and if he's being cared for the way you'd like as well as the way she does things.
Why is the military holding back on your benefits?
It sucks that you don't make much money and she get's half of it. My ex-husband didn't pay his court ordered child support ever!
I guess you need to find a way to be alright with your situation. You could include overhead costs for him. She needs a telephone to call the school, doctor, family, etc. Gasoline is very expensive along with the price of food. A dozen eggs cost almost $10/carton. Clothes and shoes and socks; underwear, a jacket.
Entertainment like movies, games, sports. She does his laundry 🧺. Maybe medical bills
The money goes fast now a days. I'm sure I left off some other expenses. She's his driver, nurse, mom, etc. (If she has a car.)
When we add it all up, it sounds about right. As far as her spending your money on herself, I'm sure she may spend very little.
I hope this helps! Stay strong and hang in there. 🙂

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

If the child is in a safe environment If the child is being fed it's a child has clothes If the child has good hygiene it does not matter where that money goes if the electricity bills being paid for it that's okay because that child needs power if there's food nutritious food that the child eats it can go there it can go anywhere now all the child needs is two parents that teach the child in life shit happens people get divorced but they get along for the child's sake because every time you bitch barking by all you're doing is teaching your child who to be when he breaks up with a girl quit thinking about yourself and think about your child If the child is being taken care of it is happy that's all that counts now show him how to get along when things don't go your way there's a lesson here it's not about money it's about a child

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Your child support deduction seems very high. Did you have an attorney representing you in the divorce/paternity case?

You are not entitled to an accounting of how she spends the child support money. She gets the money, puts it in a checking account with whatever other money she has, and she pays for everything out of the checking account. The child support is not kept separate, so saying what your child support paid for is impossible.

If she is not provding for the needs of your child, that can be addressed in court and you could even be made the primary custodian of your child. Is that what you would like?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

The fact she's the mother of the child and is primarily responsible for raising the child then its fine if she spends some cash on herself of a little bit that's left.

Now, if she's spending the cash the child needs to eat, to have clean clothes etc then take her to court.

Apple1996 · Answer

If she's caring for the child full time and also providing everything then you really shouldn't complain about what she does with the 400. That's really not a lot when it comes to raising a child

RiseofArtemis · Answer

Yeah that's what's called, not support your lazy ass to buy whatever you want for yourself support. Its for the child not the mother.

Child support is meant to help lessen the burden of costs for the parent who has the child as arrticles for children, food clothing and other things do increase spending to a reasonable amount.

worldscolide · Answer

This is why I believe that there should be a specific child support card, and a detailed accounting of money spent.. And if one dime is used for anything other than the child, the amount is reassessed and the parent is penalized.. Repeat offenses would result in the offending parent bring stripped of custody.

Unit1 · Answer

My most unpopular opinion and solution about that is that the kid gets a bank card, where the money goes to and a biometric scan, that only that kid can use to authorize transactions.

Of course it will not stop parents from forcing the kid to authorize transactions just so that these parents can buy themselves a few extra Vodka bottles or useless stuff or withdraw money or whatever.

Alessa13 · Answer

It should be like that, receipes required to show that it went for the child, food, cloths, medical, with an allowance for things like housing.

Like I've had jobs that make you prove what an expense was for.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If she is spending the entire $440 on herself, how is the child getting cared for? Also, what % of waking hours is the child in her care compared to in your care? The non-custodial parent never seems to consider the extra amount of time that the custodial parent spends with the child.

imawfulatusernames · Answer

Are you saying she doesn’t spend at least 440 on bills and other child care expenses? I can assure you she does so it really doesn’t matter what she does with the money that’s technically child support. Even in a court she wouldn’t need to prove that it was that specific money

pink_blah · Answer

thats so sad how she's being selfish by using the money made for her child to pay for herself. It called child support for a reason 😭 i dont get how she can be so inconsiderate, especially to her own child..

allaboutyou2 · Answer

I'm not sure how you can honestly say that the money you give her is spent on that stuff?
She could be using the child support to pay bills and using other money for nails and stuff.
If your child is cared for and isn't starving then I really don't see the issue.

Avicenna · Answer

Of course it should be, but often it isn't.  Before inflation got really bad a year ago, my ex was getting so much money from me and the government for child payments that she didn't work at all.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

It should be entirely for your kid. I think it should go to a joint account so the father can see where the money is going. Only fair if they have to pay for it.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I didn’t vote because although I definitely think it should be for the kids needs (housing, clothes, food) Other things like school trips, holidays/birthdays, allowance are important as well.

Johnny4473 · Answer

Child support is theft, that is it. With all the freedom of choices we have in the world, and yet we don't hold people responsible for their choice.

Unless it's an abuse case, no idea why child support exists.

Kelley1 · Answer

Child support should be limited to what the government pays foster parents, with reasonable adjustments of not more than double.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

This is one other example for things going wrong. It should be legal to give the child support in goods, instead of cash only.

jshm2 · Answer

Reads like you need to get a lawyer involved, as the kid is getting neglected.

John_Doesnt · Answer

You made your bed and now you have to sleep in it. If you didn't want this you shouldn't have had the kid to begin with. Now you're stuck with this responsibility. Be a man and take it.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

You can always stop paying CS and start being a dad 🤷‍♂️ Just a thought

Celticwolf78 · Answer

If she isn't using it to get the child stuff you can get her in so much trouble

Rangers · Answer

Child support and public education shouldn't exist

boggboss · Answer

I think that's what nost would agree

Should child support be strictly for the child’s needs?

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It's child support for the child or is it supporting the parent custodial being of the child so that they may take care of the child? Is it a must?

Should child support be strictly for the child’s needs?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

It's child support for the child or is it supporting the parent custodial being of the child so that they may take care of the child? Is it a must?

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