How do I tell a friend that I could not forget some mean things they have said to me over the years and it is harder for me to be his friend anymore?

[Anonymous]

We have been friends for almost 12 years

That's what over thinking does to someone, forget and forgive it your fault you both were young at the time

Tell him and cut him off

[Anonymous]

So are you telling him this for your closure and getting it off your chest? Or just as a means of giving an explanation? I don't know what your friendship is like; if you’re close then sure let him know what’s going on. If you’re more casual then just start creating space and if he asks why you’re being distant then let him know. I’ve tried giving someone an explanation as to why we couldn’t be friends anymore rather than show it with my actions beforehand and it backfired, they were extremely rude/hurtful and our friendship ended with her having the satisfaction that she didn’t deserve.

[Asker]

All I want is no more interactions even casual ones

[Asker]

But yes he was also a really good friend

[Asker]

And I stuck around because for me the good things about our friendship always outweighed the hurtful ones only I was incapable of comprehending the things he said at that time and now I do

[Opinion Owner]

I definitely get that, maybe you have a bit of guilt because of the good times, I know I did. But if cutting ties is for the better then just do it. You don’t owe him an explanation if you don’t feel comfortable having that conversation. If you want to tell him what’s on your mind then I’d say to be prepared, as he could either say the right things to keep you as a friend or tear you down altogether. Hopefully it would be a good convo if you spoke with him though.

[In_Trance]

Just go your separate ways