My friend backed out of an important promise last minute, should I forgive and forget or stop being his friend?

[Anonymous]

I am a single woman. I am disabled and dating has been really hard for me. My biological clock is ticking and my doctor suggested that I start trying to get pregnant now if I want to be a mom. I have been using artificial insemination with frozen sperm but it hasn’t been working. My doctor suggested using a fresh sample from a male friend. I made a post asking my male friends if anyone would donate to me. I would draw up a contract with a lawyer so that they would not have to be responsible for the child at all. My best friend agreed to help me. He lives in another state and recently lost his job. I told him that I would pay for plane ticket and that he could stay with me in my guest bedroom. I would pay for meals and everything he needed while he was here. He said this was ok and I booked non-refundable tickets for him to arrive Monday morning. (The only tickets they had left were the ones I got). I made the plans with the lawyer to have the contract signed Monday afternoon and get inseminated Tuesday morning. He texted me tonight (Sunday evening) to let me know that he isn’t coming. He said that he has to stay home and take care of some stuff. He said that he knew he wasn’t going to come for two weeks but didn’t want me to be mad at him so he prolonged telling me. Of course I am upset at him for not telling me sooner. I could’ve changed my plans and figured something else out. He doesn’t really seem to grasp how hurt I am. Of all people, I never thought he would ditch me like this. In our conversations, he is minimizing his role in the whole thing and is acting like it’s no big deal. He doesn’t realize that I counted on him and that this is a big deal to me. My doctor is only giving me a few more months to try to conceive and this was my best chance since I was using fresh sperm. He seems like I’m overreacting. I don’t know what to do, I just feel so hurt. Would you forgive and forget or would you stop being his friend?

[BadApple69]

Even though you were releasing him from all responsibilities with this baby, becoming a dad is a BIG deal. It’s my opinion that he was/is scared of this thought. It’s easy for you to think that he is just masturbating into a cup and then you do your part but in his mind he knows this baby will be yours and his. This ties him to you forever through that baby. Don’t take the man’s role in all this so simply… this is very complex.
I had a similar thing accrue with me. I had a friend who wanted me to make her pregnant (the old fashioned way). We had sex but the more I thought about it the less I wanted it to happen. Got to the point I would lose my erection before I would cum because my mind was thinking about her having my baby and how I would want that baby to be protected for ever. I know I could never walk away from her or the baby.
I couldn’t do what she wanted.
I think he was a jerk for not telling you sooner. Not that it would have made a difference.
Wether you forgive or not is up to you, I just wanted you to know there is 2 sides to this story.

[DextroShade]

So you just want to use this unemployed guy to become a baby momma and you have the nerve to get mad at him? You also said you are disabled meaning you don't work so the taxpayers would be footing the bill. I hope he never shows up and you never get pregnant because you are a parasite.

[Asker]

I do work, asshole. Just because I am disabled doesn’t mean I need government assistance

[DextroShade]

Even if you work and won't need government assistance (which I doubt) you would still be raising a child in a fatherless home meaning the child would be far more likely to drop out of school, become a drug addict, become a criminal, be homeless, or commit suicide. With the exception of the last one all these would cause a massive drain on society.

[Anonymous]

It's seems like you aren't being understanding of what he is going through. You said he lost his job. Him losing his job possibly means he may end up homeless and not being able to afford bills. Who cares what your doctor said. Do you know how many women have fallen pregnant after the age of 35 and even after the age of 40. Thousands if not millions. I had my first child after I turned 36 and this was after being told I couldn't ever fall pregnant.

Yes it sucks he didn't tell you sooner he wasn't coming but maybe he realised he couldn't go through with it in the end if he couldn't be apart of the child's life or be a father. I say you need to find it in you to find forgiveness because it sounds like he has a lot going on at the moment.

[Anonymous]

[Opinion Owner]

Here is a prayer of hope for a little one:



I suggest you forgive and forget him. Now, try to find another person that can help you conceive

[Asker]

Thank you for this!! ❤️

[Opinion Owner]

Of course! I pray you have a healthy little one in your arms very soon. Just to give you some hope, my mother had me at the age of 52 with the help of IVF. So it’s definitely 100% doable for someone like you, who is in her 30’s (according to the age range I see next to your username). Wishing you the absolute best of luck. 💕

[SnowedIn]

BS. I call troll on this one. I don't for a second believe bunches of your story. Particularly the stuff about the doctor. This all rings false.

And then the first thing you do is run to GaG to ask if you should forgive and forget.

No. Troll of the day award.

[Drumlin2001]

So you want someone to father a child but to just walk away knowing their child is growing up without a dad?
If you want a sperm donor just go on Tinder and match with everyone making it clear you'll put out on first date