Who is wrong here?

[Anonymous]

My brother and I got into a big fight. He claimed he would spend more time with me but went off with his buddies instead. Then he promised me he'd spend time with me when he got home, and when he got home he went in his room and ignored everyone for 2 hours. I called him out on his lie and then we went to sleep. The next morning he was telling me harsh things because he "didn't lie he was just exhausted" and even went as far as to say I understand why your ex boyfriend left you I'd leave you too. But he did lie.. Even if it was accidental. He claims he didn't lie followed by so many personal attacks... I need advice please.

[RavVid]

I wouldn't count it as lie but as a broken promise though there is an element of deception (and hence a lie) in broken promises.

You need him to want and enjoy spending time with you. He will want to spend time with his guy friends and will want to spend time with girls he is not related to.

If you upbraid him then he will distance himself - because he is getting a bad time. You can learn from your brother how to foster good relationships with unrelated men. on the other side he should learn to say what he means and do as he says.

I think you should call him out that way.

[Asker]

You can't really call him out at all without him exploding and bombarding with personal attacks with the excuse that "I can't control myself when I'm angry"

[RavVid]

Does he ever want anything from you? Calling out doesn't need to be aggressive. It can just be a flat statement 'Say what you mean do what you say'. I imagine he is an older brother but he is sounding like a 5yo with "I can't control...". At 25+ if he hasn't learnt control and to do what he says he will then he is not likely to form a worthwhile romantic relationship. I think he has bigger probs.

[Asker]

He's actually a few years younger than me. He's very flip floppy like yesterday he was trying to hug me and tell me all these compliments and then if you piss him off he says you don't deserve anything and I want the world around you to burn.

[RavVid]

Still think he has some growing up to do.