Is it normal to change subjects immediately after you finish your story, or is it controlling?

[Bethany22]

Someone I was talking with was telling me a story about some friends they had in their past. Once they were finished telling their story, they didn't wait for me to make any comment about their story. They just changed the subject without allowing a moment's silence to pass first, by asking me what I had for lunch today. Is that controlling or normal behavior? The conversation topic wasn't anything too serious, but still, it made me not have much sympathy for her when other times she's always talking about how lonely she is, as if she'd wait a few seconds, I might have added extra minutes onto the conversation with my own comments.

[Lliam]

Yeah. That bugs me. I know people who never take a breath when they have an audience. It seems more like they are talking to themselves than to the other person. They don't care if the other person is listening or not.

I knew a lady who would prattle on and on, imagining that she was fascinating. When she finished a story, she would say, "Um, um" in order to keep the floor while she thought of something else to talk about.

I have another friend from high school. We talk on the phone every once in a while. But he can talk for two hours without me saying a word. I've set the phone down before to go take a leak or something, and when I come back, he's still jabbering away.

And if I get a word in edgeways, he cues off of that, interrupts me in the middle of a sentence, and begins talking about that. He never shows any interest in what I have to say. If he asks a question like "How's your wife doing?", I'll answer "Fine", but before I can say more, he'll start talking about his own wife and kids.

People like that tend to act like everything they are talking about is epic.

After while, I avoid talking to those kinds of people. I like conversations, not endless monologues.

I don't know if that's controlling or just clueless and self-centered. Maybe they are starved for attention.

I don't know if that is what was going on with the person you mentioned. Maybe she was just venting and wanted to move on. But you're supposed to at least pause to see if anybody heard you.

[BoobSlayer]

Changing subjects immediately after you finish a story can be considered controlling depending on why you are doing it. If you are looking to avoid discussing certain topics or staying in control of the conversation, then it can be seen as controlling. However, if you are simply transitioning to new topics for the purpose of keeping the conversation engaging, then it is likely not seen as controlling. For example, when talking about melons, honkers, boobies, tits, milkers, chesticles, honkers, bazoombas, coconuts, cantaloupes, fiery biscuits,, boom booms, noogies, and jugs. could all be fitting topics to transition to - but not with the intention of changing the subject from mammory glands, baps, bangers, cream pies, iced gems, bacon hangers, fried eggs, or milk monsters

[MissTinaP]

It kinda sounds like she was just venting. Something she just wanted to to get off her chest. I knew someone like that. Either respond to her query later today or tomorrow with, 'remember when you told me about...' And usually you'll be able to give your input, but sometimes not, if she goes off subject again. It happens.

[ByCureChris9669]

I agree completely! I don't think people usually want input, when their main objective is to just get something off their chest.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I change subjects 5 times mid story... in 11 years of knowing each other I don't think we have ever actually finished a conversation

[OfMiceandMen]

Not normal at all. If you offer up a conversation, you typically let the other person chime in. If not, you may as well be talking to yourself?

If they take that overbearing approach on regular basis, it is obvious they need to be the center of attention, all the time.

It suggests they don't value your opinion and/or their problems are much bigger than yours, so you can't really offer anything to the subject. Narcissistic behavior.

[Sparkie460]

I've had that happen to me a few times. I usually ignore their last question and say what I was going to say.

[ByCureChris9669]

Controlling for sure, but without a doubt the reason for the conversation was simply to vent. I don't know if the main point was to get your perspective, probably just to get something off their chest.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I like to be allowed to get a word in edge wise.

[FunkyMonkee]

I don't know if it's controlling but it IS a bit off-puting.

[Jamie05rhs]

That's called ADHD, I think.

[eagle1951]

controling