Is it bad that I'm nice to my dad?

[Anonymous]

I didn't have a very good childhood because of my dad. He was always drunk. He drove drunk with us in the car. He often passed out, and my underage sister would have to drive. He would often spank us too. Sometimes with a belt. I remember we had a dog, and one time the dog chewed up a shoe and mu dad kicked the dog do hard she pissed all over the place. Well, my dad has been sober for 10 years. He is certainly a better person. He's apologized for always being drunk, and for being a jerk. He hasn't apologized for spanking us or anything. I think he still thinks kids should be spank. Same with dogs too. Thsnkfully he doesn't have a dog. Well, we have a really good relationship these days. I call him every few days, and he calls me too. Just to see how we're doing. I was gonna call and tell him happy father's day, but im not sure if I should considering how he treated us. What do you think?

[Thatpearl26]

I don’t think it was wrong to be nice to your dad. In the end you wanted to repair your relationship with him so you did.

I would like to add on that you’re a very strong and kind person. I have a similar life story. My father who is still very much an alcoholic was always absent. He was there at home eating dinners with us but never really with us. I don’t have a good relationship with him. But I would like to tell you that even though I don’t know you. I admire your courage and ability to forgive. It takes a lot to forgive someone especially if they were abusive.

[AaronKrieger]

Not sure why he'd have to apologize for spanking unless I'm missing out on some details, but anyway, it's up to you. I think you should at least have some type of relationship with him now that he's been consistently sober. It could help fill that emptiness you feel from it a little bit, but also if you have children one day, then they should have a grandfather.

You telling him "Happy Father's Day" has to do with the fact it sounds like he's a good father now. Split the two versions of him and try to look at them as different people, since he quite literally was. Alcoholism and drugs can change people so fucking much.

[RasmusAiken]

I applaud you for keeping a relationship with your dad. I did not do this and he's passed on. I wish I had been the son that you portray.

[Nikki1989]

I couldn't do it, but I am not you.