Am I being too harsh with my dad reaching out often?

[Anonymous]

So rewind to a few months ago, my dad used to reach out weekly or maybe every few weeks. At the time, my mom and I (parents are divorced) weren’t talking so not sure if my dad saw himself as the middle man. As soon as my mom and I start talking again, he begins reaching out more frequently. Maybe it’s a coincidence but my dad in my opinion reaches out too often while my mom reaches out just as often and for some reason it doesn’t bother me. My mom lives local and my dad lives in another state, we didn’t talk for 3 years and started again last year. Again he didn’t reach out that often until my mom and I started talking again. My dad just irks me I can’t put a finger on it well kind of but it’s hard to explain. This past weekend, I speak with him Saturday after he calls again from when I didn’t pick up that Tuesday. After we speak about an hr, he calls back about an hr after and I don’t pick up. Sunday, he calls me 4 times and I didn’t answer bc I was just frustrated. I know it’s not an emergency bc he usually texts after if he needs something. Yesterday, he calls again and I kind of chew him out for calling so much Sunday, he called to tell me about a show he watched and I had to ask if that REALLY warranted 4 calls in one day, like a text would’ve done the trick. Honestly I don’t understand why he needs to reach out so much we haven’t had an argument since 3+ years ago before we stopped talking. He only talks to his brother and isn’t on speaking terms with the rest of his family bc they’re assholes. I am kind of fed up with everyone sympathizing for him but I am alone too & don’t see anyone pitying me. My thing is what if I was married or had kids, I’d still be expected to devote my time to him? That isn’t my fault or obligation.

Yes

No

[Honest-Matt]

Having moved away and gone on my own, watching my parents who are separated slowly near old age. We start to regret we didn't keep in touch, and the older we get, the less friends and family are around. They're lonely and although it's annoying, they're in a weird stage of their life depending how it developed and they can end up being entirely alone dealing with depression every day. Yeah the calls are excessive but there's nothing saying you can't be open and real with your father and work something out, a schedule or whatever. He doesn't want to lose you because it can happen so easily at these ages. Have patience, be firm, but just be understanding of how and what they're going through.

[Phoenix98]

I don’t know I’m of the opinion that you shouldn’t have bad blood.

Sure it’s easy now to be frustrated or mad, irritated at him. But what if he got into an accident or died or something happened. You’d regret all that time you wasted being mad or annoyed at him, pushing him away.

Cherish them while you can, while they are around because one day they won’t be. And you regret all the times you didn’t keep in touch, talk or spend time together. Something that didn’t hit home until someone close to me died far to soon.

You can still voice your feelings with him just work out an arrangement or schedule with him that works for both of you.

[AndrésC64]

You should reach out to him while you can. One day he won't be there.

[Lynn7dsd]

It just sounds on uncaring on your part.