What kind of parent would you be?

[SunnyRS]

If you are currently a parent or suppose you decide to have children in future, what kind of parent would you be?
Will you be the strict disciplinary type parent or the lenient friend kind of a parent?
To be honest I want to be the strict one but I am 100 percent sure I can't pull it off.
Don't get me wrong I will make some rules which they would have to follow but I don't think I would be able to yell at them, I will most likely try to make them understand the right and wrong. I mean it has worked out for me till now when I was the school headboy Or when I used to be an English teacher.
What about you guys and do tell your reason for your choice.

The Strict one

The lenient one

The other one. (Which one?)

[AaronKrieger]

Before They're a Teenager: Strict
- Reinforcing certain ideas and habits that should become instinct for them (brushing teeth, going to sleep early, trying new things, etc.)
- Give a lot of positive reinforcement for good behavior to try to reinforce good practices/morals, but also try to build confidence
- Get them to try different things, so they've at least experienced it. I believe kids should learn what it's like to fail and get back up like in sports.
- Build some independence in them by not always holding their hand (depends on age)

Once They're a Teenager: A balance of the two
- Setup certain rules that will help guide them towards adulthood (having a hobby, doing chores around the house, cooking sometimes, etc.) Overall I want them to be slowly more independent as they get older.
- As long as they follow the rules consistently, then I will place my trust in them to give them the freedom to do whatever they want for the most part.
- Try to encourage them to do things outside of their comfort zone and hype them up. Build in confidence in them even if it's something as silly as us all doing stupid dances, lmao.
- Explain to them why I do certain things whether it's for myself or others and the impact of them. Also, how people should be in regards to being a good person. My own father did this and I found it to be very effective. (EX: He picked me up from the airport and he already had my favorite drink in the cup holder. Afterwards, he explained how people should give a shit to do the small things for people such as that. It wasn't him bragging, but giving me a lesson by example on something I should do for others)

[SunnyRS]

Excellent answer

[Jackblue]

I was raised more leniently than I deserved, and I don't think it is fair to punish one's children more severely that you were punished, so I would try to be lenient.

[SunnyRS]

Great

[DizzyDesii]

I will be “authoritative”, not to be confused with the more strict authoritarian. I’m more focused on a solutions and knowing they’ll learn and improve rather than straight punishing them for having made a mistake. I dont intend to use physical punishment unless they’ve done something outrageous and extremely warranted. I’ll also be a helicopter mom for the kids first 10 years lmao. Now i will have a few “permissive” and “authoritarian” traits as well but nothing extreme and I will never become the “uninvolved” type. I am not trying to be my kids best friend, so there are also certain acts and behavior that will not be accepted in my household. They’d have to be 18+ and out of my house to truly live whatever lifestyle they want to live. But drugs, alcohol, underage sex, cursing, talking back, having a tech device under the age of 12, staying out past 9pm, partaking in homosexual behavior, refusing to go to church and wanting to be atheist… yea thats not going down under my roof. You gotta abide by the rules or move out at 18 for that one big boy

[SunnyRS]

Good choice but in the options given by you only the authoritative one looked positive to me rest only had cons.
A better decision can be made with all the pros and cons of these four right?

[DizzyDesii]

Probably. Like i said i’ll mainly use authoritative. Mymom had been all 4 at different stages in my life

[SunnyRS]

I guess that's true, we may have to interchange our roles according to the situations.

[Anonymous]

i'd be the understanding one. because this is something i didn't grew up with, i feel like no one understood me as cliche as that sounds. having sound sensitivities, being shy, isolating myself. i was always forced to do things that my personality wasn't working with. i wish they were more accommodating to me as it would make my coping a lot easier to deal with and the situations i had to do in life a lot easier to deal with. and now i stay away from all situations that would make me uncomfortable because these situations were unpleasant to deal with when i was younger because no one knew how to take my anxieties and put me at ease so i could accomplish tasks.

[SunnyRS]

I am so sorry to hear that you have been through so much.
But I am sure that makes you a person with a sound judgement to treat your kids nicely.
Thank you for sharing something that was very hard for you.

[Opinion Owner]

thank you for your kind words

[SunnyRS]

You are most welcome

[Girl242]

Building a human is a serious job. I don't think people understand that. You're not just raising kid. It's much deeper than that. People think kids are just born naturally the way they are... They aren't. Personality is not random. It's molded and usually the parents don't even know they are building a child's self image and more. That's a really serious deal. More serious than child birth itself. Don't choose a parenting style like you're picking a pair of pants.

[SunnyRS]

Appreciate your opinion.

[comekitty]

Somewhere in the middle - I'm loving, caring, forgiving, and understanding but still firm and demanding. 🙂

[SunnyRS]

That's a good place to be

[Yannishka]

I'm the strict one that watches in the back and punishes you if you screw up, and gives you some freedom when you've been good.

[SunnyRS]

You are!!!
Wow, you are a parent at a very young age. Parenthood must be difficult, I think

[Yannishka]

Oh no I am just telling you the kind I would be. I got an idea because I've looked after my little cousin.

[SunnyRS]

Oh ok, sorry for the misunderstanding.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I would be the neglectful or absentee parent, which is why I won’t ever have a baby lol

[SunnyRS]

Hey, at least you are considerate towards them.
So, you get some brownie points Miss Cupcake.

[Agape93]

Lenient. If you're going to do questionable shit, do it at home where you're safe.

[SunnyRS]

That's fair.
But allowing questionable shit?
Why?

[Agape93]

Autonomy. I'm the caretaker, not the overlord. Kids and teens will do stupid shit. They're going to drink. They're going to try drugs. They're going to experiment with each other. Whatever, just do it at home where you're safe.

[SunnyRS]

That's probably right

[WhitneySnow]

Probably mostly lenient

[J2ohhhhh]

One with the belt

[SunnyRS]

That's a bit extreme

[J2ohhhhh]

I ain't white, it's normal in my culture

[SunnyRS]

I ain't white either.
But I tend to avoid physical punishment specially belts and other objects.

[J2ohhhhh]

It's called deterrence. It's like nuclear weapons. Since WWII no country used them, but the fact they have them makes other countries not to fuck with them.

[SunnyRS]

👍👍

[Anonymous]

Probably strict.