For those of you who had single parents/guardians, and who are single parents/guardians... This still applies to you, you can answer! <3
What parenting style did your parents/guardians use? And what style would/do you use as a parent?
Child Psychologists say the most effective parenting style is AUTHORITATIVE.
My answer: Growing up, my parents were Authoritative as a whole. My mom was more authoritative, my dad was more authoritarian… Depending on what I did, my parents gauged how they would parent me. For example, if I got in trouble for smoking pot at school, they would be more authoritarian. If I were doing good, they would be more permissive. -- If I were a parent, I think I would be authoritative as well. I would follow how my parents parented me… Overall, authoritative is my preferred parenting style because it is shown to have the best outcome, based on my research, experience, and studies.
I would say my parents were a blend of authoritative and authoritarian. My father leaned more towards the authoritarian and my mom is definitely authoritative in the kindest person you will ever know. My husband’s mother raised him and I believe she was on the authoritative to slightly permissive side. As parents, my husband and I strive to be the authoritative. However, I lean a little towards the permissive a bit much and he tries to balance it out with being a little bit authoritarian if he feels it’s necessary.
If I came to them with a legit problem, I would be ignored and labeled a liar or dramatic. I was routinely left in the care of someone who had 0 business being around children unsupervised, if at all. I was routinely lied to. If I did ANYTHING they didn't like, I was automatically shamed, blamed and ridiculed, even when bad things happened TO me and almost died.
I could go on but I'm already in a bad space and not looking to make it worse, especially in public.
My mom was neglectful and my sister was neglectful and my brother-in-law was neglectful and my father was not neglectful I didn't remember the other three options
For information in case people are wondering my mother and my father got divorced and my mother moved in with my sister for a while because my sister was a legal adult she was alegal adult by the time I was 6 years old actually and maybe even before I was six she could have been a legal adult I don't know I don't remember and I don't care
My parents were permissive they gave me a lot of freedom and honestly I discovered and much and learned so much on my own through my own experiences that it made me very successful later in life. It allowed me be self reliant and offered me to make mistakes when I was younger, learn from them, and use all those lessons learn later in life when mom and dad were not their to pick me up and put me back on my feet and apply Band-Aids on my scraps and bruise and kiss my booboos to make the pain go away.
My parents used a combination of being open to discuss any topic safely and openly, but they made it very clear do not try them.
We even had discussions a few times a year about things, they felt i needed to improve, and then i would tell them what i wished they would do differently.
The first time we did this i was leary, but when i saw them make an effort to work on it, I felt like they really respected and cared about me as a human, so it made me closer to them.
Which also made me want to be a better daughter to them.
My parents were Authoritarian. Which had both positive and negative affects. Now, that I am older, they seem to be Authoritative (I am glad).
I want to be an Authoritative parent. A parent who is open to talk about anything with their child, hear their child’s side of the story, and setting very clear rules. I don’t want my child to feel like I don’t love them, or don’t care about what they have to say (that is how I felt growing up with my parents). I want to be my child’s friend/parent (if that makes any sense).
I am finding this question to be really tough for me to answer.
Both of my parents are working, so no that much time at home. Mom daily, dad 2-3 days a week.
My dad does not meddle in my things nor do I in his things. He is cool that way. My mom is a bit of controlling nature but in a good way. Good habits influencer, you can say. Both of them are caring, but my mom is more on the expressive side.
My dad gives me those chances that my mom would not even think of. Like allowing me to take our big car at 120 to 140 kmph of speed. Really dangerous. Also doing stunts with the car but in a field. Like a J turn or something of that nature.
Both of them are accepting of my grades. Just should not go below the given threshold. That's it.
My father was a miserable person who put us through a lot growing up for me and my sister I can remember there were a lot of cold nights that we slept in sleeping blankets cause there was just no heat that high... My late mother tended to take on his personality at times I remember we had a Milk Store at the top of the street and she dropped the whole gallon of milk on the road and she screamed for us kids it was horrible verbal abuse but this happens in families so sad also when my mom disciplined us she would use a shoe or anything to discipline us and she hit my backside or even my back yes it hurt badly.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
It has been a combination of the three other than neglectful. It was mostly Authoritative and being permissive was very less. At times when it has been authoritarian it was for my own good but initially I didn't like it although I realised it later on. More over I always had a very healthy relationship with my parents and they have been really supportive throughout. In my future when I become a parent I would like to follow their paths and would keep a healthy relation with my child. So it would be more of an authoritarian. I think being Permissive for a majority of times is not good as the child is less mature and has less experience of life. So that might spoil the child's nature as well as his future. They tend to become stubborn and less realistic. Sometimes you can be Permissive if his/her demands aren't that bad.
If I actually had children, I'd be Authoritative but loving. My kids would know what I'd want and expect, but I'd be flexible with them and
The awful mother I had was both Authoritarian and Neglectful. Yes, the two can co-exist. She was an awful b*tch who has did no actual motherly duties. She would have rather I been aborted, so maybe that makes more sense to you.
Mostly neglectful but a little authoritarian too I can’t completely pick one as it wouldn’t be completely true but for my mum 100% neglectful as well as a bad childhood with her I won’t mention
My dad was half neglectful, half authoritarian with the occasion indulgence but that wasn’t to avoid conflict per se. But he was very strict. So I’m gonna with half half to make it easier
I don't think my parents fit into a box. They allowed us pretty much everything but they also had rules that were to be followed. Regular stuff that people go nuts about, they never did. But drinking and smoking etc they were strict about. Thongs makeup and piercing that people almost want to fight their children on, they didn't give a crap. And my dad bought me my gun at my 17th birthday (in Louisiana)
I'd say my mom is permissive and may have been a bit authoritative when I was a little girl when I was being bad but she mostly has a permissive parenting style. My dad has a neglectful parenting style. He's not very involved in my life because he mostly only cares about sports. If I had a child of my own I would use the authoritative style of parenting.
Permissive but don’t give in for everything like it says. No rules but because me and my brother don’t have bad behavior. Never ask really much about grades or homework because they guess I do good with grades and homework. They don’t care if I get a C or D, I get an average B overall. Only ask about grades at the end of each quarter
My husband is a lot more permissive than I am with our daughter. That’s why she usually goes to him when she wants something. But yeah, I think we are generally pretty good at trying to raise her as a good kid. She does not get a lot of screen time, definitely no video games! We set rules, and explain “why” she has to do things, or behave in a certain way.
My parents were Neglectful, but I raised my little sister as Authoritative as possible.. at least I gave my best and that's what I would also do with my kids one day
I grew up in the 70s by my hippy mom who was a nudist. I was free to do anything except you had to be home for dinner or had asked to eat out by lunch, so she knew what to make for dinner.
Authoritarian and no it isn't good at all. Damaged as fuck. I had to start over after my 20s when I slowly start to realise the world is a different place.
definitely a mix of all four of those... If i were to draw a circle in the middle it would cover less of the permissive style and more of the other three.
