Do you think you would be a good parent/already is?

[Thestupidusername]

Yes I think I would be/already is

Nope😶

Somehwere in between

Ewww a kid🤢

[wolfcat87]

I'm a very good parent. Spent years raising other people's kids, doing research, and taking classes about that would benefit kids like multiple years of Home Ec, Culinary
Arts, Psychology, Child Development, and Child Related Careers before I had my own. I also studied Education and Child Development in college. I read tons of educational books and scientific studies on parenting.

When I had my children, my whole life revolved around making sure they get the best. I left work and stayed home with them as soon as I could, spoke to them in English, Spanish, and french. They were tutored with short daily lessons even when they were only 1 years old. Took them to play groups to socialize. Carefully curated educational books, shows, and toys for them. Breastfed them for a long time. Played with them and interacted with them all day every day. Used a lot of Attachment Parenting and Montessori Method, and was more of a democratic parent even when they were little.

We never had to spank them. The focus was on how to positively deal with any excess energy they had and redirect them from any negative behaviors while communicating why it was not okay and another option was better. This could be telling them to go for a run around the yard, signing them up for another activity, wrestling with them in the living room, taking them to the park, etc.

They were always able to date and hang out with any friends they want. I just asked that they tell me everything and listen to any judgements or advice I had, but they were never punished or told not to be friends with anyone even if the person was a bad influence. I let them think about it and make their own decisions. Worked out pretty well.

They had all of their stuff where they could access it including a little snack shelf in the pantry just for them in the morning. That made them more independent. They didn't have to bug me to do everything for them.

One of the kids seemed a bit slower than the other at the start and had mild tourette symptoms. We didn't make a big deal out of it, I thought it was cute. I just spoke with him about it when he got older, and we carefully worked on the tics until no one would even know he has it from interacting with him unless he told them. We joke that his brain was so big that it needed a little extra time to turn on all the way. He comes across as very well spoken and intelligent, and teachers see him more as an equal than a student.

I taught them to invest early and often, so they each have their own stock portfolio. They helped me renovate houses knowing they will inherit them later. I learned a lot of my handy skills from going to work with my mom as a kid, and it's been valuable. I teach them any medical skills I know from being an EMT and researching medicine. My husband teaches them handy man skills. We both teach them upper management skills. My other husband teaches them Portuguese. Both guys teach them computer skills. One is learning to scuba dive, and the other is working on his pilot license. They are planning to teach those skills later too.

If the kids wanted a toy that was non educational or not approved, it had to be gifted to them by someone else, or they had to go out and earn the money on their own to buy it. And, they have. An example would be the Nintendo Switch. Their screen time and computer time were very limited until they were teens. Maybe 30 minutes a day. Then they had to read or listen to the radio or books on tape. They could earn 15 minutes more through exercise.

We made sure to move to a rural area just outside of town so they could have acreage to play on. We also chose to stay here because it's a very good place to raise children without any major problems.

As soon as they showed interest in an activity, they were given a chance to try it if it could fit into the schedule. Ballet, tap, flamenco, gymnastics, soccer, softball, taekwondo, jiujitsu, art classes, cello, coding, wrestling, basketball, volleyball, kayaking, bowling, skiing, snowboarding, biking, tennis, golf, swimming, archery, shooting, cross country, track and field, speech and debate, hiking, camping, going to the gym, etc. They went to state in multiple sports and nationals in at least one. They participated in some of these for 8-10 years. I tried to make sure the arts, sports, and educational aspects of their lives were always balanced.

We always had pets to teach them about animals and care of others. Multiple Great Danes, an Irish Wolfhound, multiple cats, chickens, ducks, rats, various fish including platies, mollies, guppies, shrimp, snails, goldfish, tetras, betas, plecos, etc. Also, had aquatic plants, hydroponic plants, and gardens inside and out.

We had family game nights every week and home cooked dinners. We went on road trips all over the U. S. so the kids would experience more people, foods, cultures, activities, and environments. My daughter wanted a cruise for her sweet 16, so she got one.

They get to control their own high school class schedules. My daughter had us pay extra for her to take summer classes 3 summers because she wanted to be able to fit more fun classes in. I told her it's way cheaper than they will be in college. We only ask they they do their best. Both are Honors and AP students and advanced. My son was so advanced in math that they had to send him to the high school every day to take high school honors math with his sister. Now that he's in high school, they don't have any classes hard enough to challenge him.

Both kids have excellent reputations and always get glowing reviews from other adults working with them. They get lots of awards and recognition for what they do. Both help and tutor other children and my daughter does tons of volunteer work.

My son was able to wear dresses and makeup as a kid for fun. No, he didn't turn out gay or even bisexual. He's as straight as they come. We are very pro rainbow in this house, and would have loved him regardless. They have been able to make their own choices on religion and are both atheist. Their father is christian, other dad catholic leaning toward he just doesn't care so maybe atheist/agnostic, and I am an agnostic, atheist, buddhist, type.

They always knew that they mattered, their feelings mattered, and they were equally valued members of the family. I would stop to listen to them and communicate with them as needed. I would regularly ask them how they feel we are doing as parents and where they feel we could improve as adults and they could improve as kids. Kind of like a family report card. There was never much of an issue with tantrums and whining, because I would always pretend I couldn't understand them if they tried once they could talk. I would say, "I am trying so hard to hear you, but I need the big kid voice. Please help me?" Then, they would switch to communicating in a mature, clear, and concise way so that we could discuss what they needed. If they could communicate that they needed something and good reasons why in an intelligent way, the answer was always yes. This taught them more critical thinking and how to communicate with people the rest of their lives.

They were both given cars as soon as they got their learner's permits at 15. We plan to help them pay for college, already bought houses they can live in when they are adults. They'd still have to pay rent, but it's going to be easier all around than renting from strangers or trying to buy a house on their own.

All of that being said, do I get a perfect A on my mom report card from the kids? No. Why? Because while I could do everything for them, I won't. I could prep and cook every meal and snack they eat, do all of their cleaning for them, drive them around, run their errands, etc. But, they would make them weak and hinder their abilities to grow as people. There's got to be a balance so that you're never hurting your kids by helping too much. I'm happy to kick them out of the nest and make them fly on their own on a regular basis to make them stronger, and they are incredibly well rounded and resilient because I have. My son says he scores me on a logarithmic scale anyways, so I'd have to work 1,000 harder to reach the next level. Hard pass hahaha.

[Thestupidusername]

Very wisely put! Thank you for sharing all that! I'm sure you are a great mother! I've also taken care and taken classes for kids the past 7 years but still have a lot to learn. Glad you found it useful!😃☺️

[wolfcat87]

Love to hear you are being proactive about educating yourself. Good luck!

[Thestupidusername]

Thank you 😊

[Kingofkings1992]

Tldr

[exitseven]

Wow, I used to just yell at my kids when they were fresh.

[Sour-rose]

Eww... a screaming child...

But seriously, hell no. At the moment, I'm a low income and only have enough food for myself.

[Thestupidusername]

Very valid to not get a child then!:)

[CalmUntilAbused]

I'd probably be a dreadful parent for a newborn baby, but as time goes on, I would definitely be able to significantly contribute to my child's future well-being, unless the child would turn out to be extraordinarily weak mentally (weaker than I have ever been).

[Thestupidusername]

Sounds like you got the mind in the right place then. Sounds valid.

[CalmUntilAbused]

I mean, I would never intentionally hurt my child (or any child for that matter), but my patience with newborn babies that are known to be prone to crying in the middle of the night would probably turn out to be short-lived, and I would definitely rely heavily on my wife to take care of this issue (I would do my best to make sure all Her and our child's needs are met, though). However, with my load of experience with the reality we live in and some level of empathy, I am quite confident I would prepare my child for the future challenges almost perfectly. First of all, I wouldn't lie to my child about the world being a safe place anymore as soon as I considered the child strong enough to bear the truth (though I would probably request my wife's assistance in assessing our child's mental strength).

[Thestupidusername]

Well fathers are usually more important with their role when kids go from babies-toddlers towards teenagers. So it makes sense

[CalmUntilAbused]

If only I found a wife who'd be willing to understand that (and most likely "sacrifice" Her career for the time when She'd be in charge of taking care of the children - even the "home office" might turn out too stressful for Her), I guess I'd be a happy man.

[Thestupidusername]

Yeah hopefully you'll find her

[exitseven]

I raised 3 kids with my wife. I provided them with a stable home and I tried to be a good role model for them. We supported them and gave them everything they needed to succeed. They are all college graduates with good jobs living on their own.

[Thestupidusername]

Thats great! Glad you were a good farher to them:)

[exitseven]

@thestupidusername 😊😊😊😊

[Thestupidusername]

🤗🤗

[Cute_potato01]

I'll do my best given the economy and each situations relying on my instincts and gained knowledge

[Thestupidusername]

👍👍

[IslaTheWitch]

My adult kids don't complain :D the youngest even said she doesn't see the reason to move out :D

[Thestupidusername]

That's really sweet! Glad you make a great difference!😃

[IslaTheWitch]

Hope so... they are great kids

[Thestupidusername]

Im sure you are. Thats nice 😊

[NathanDavis]

I'm already good at co-parenting, sort of... as an uncle (=

[Thestupidusername]

Nice!😃

[Anonymous]

I could be a good parent, I’m good with infants and children, but I have no intentions of ever having or raising them myself.

[Thestupidusername]

Why don't you want kids?:)

[Opinion Owner]

I’m good with them- but I don’t like them.

[Thestupidusername]

Haha okay. Well at least you know what you want😊👍

[Sparkie460]

Yes I think I'm a good parent. I did everything I can to raise good respectful and responsible kids. They turned out ok. They have good jobs.

[Thestupidusername]

Sounds like you are! Glad you are a great father to them😊

[Sparkie460]

When you had a great upbringing, you have a good background on how to bring up your own kids.

[Thestupidusername]

Sounds right😊

[TheSpaceGnome]

I would be a great parent, but I don't want any kids.

[Thestupidusername]

Why not?🥲👀

[TheSpaceGnome]

I love hobbies, having a flexible schedule, free time, restful sleep, collectable figures, rare or one of a kind items, expensive gaming systems, nice houses, lewd art, pets that can sting or bite, etc.

I'd be the type of parent that plays classical music on my wifes belly, teaches my kid to read, draw, and play instruments as a toddler, spoils them with toys and games, buys them their first car at 16, pays for their college tuition at 18, lets them confide in me without judgment (even on weird shit) tells them how to succeed in life, and protects them like a guard dog but only with their permission. But I love all that other stuff and I hate messes, broken things, stress, certain limits on my lifestyle, being exausted, and bad smells.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Basically its just too much of a hassle.

[Thestupidusername]

Well I guess the question is would it be worth the sacrifise. But thats up to you.

Well explained!:)

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, I'd be the best parent, but I'd be extremely miserable that I gave up what I wanted in life. It's 100% NOT worth it to me to have kids.

[Thestupidusername]

Alright then 😊

[Joshydavid25]

I would like to think I would be.. But I'll never know for sure until the day comes..

[Thestupidusername]

Yeah but sounds like a good minuset to start with at least!:)

[Joshydavid25]

Of course.. Well, I'll start by me and my wife having a good relationship and sticking together..

[Thestupidusername]

👍👍👍

[fuddly]

Two great kids
I continue to wonder what we did right 🙂
I'm not perfect, far from it!. Just human.

[Thestupidusername]

Probblaby that mindset! Sounds like you were a great father! Glad to hear it😊😃

[Kingofkings1992]

Being a good parent is subjective. Some people are good parents, most are not.

[Thestupidusername]

Would you be/are according to your idea lf a good parent?

[Anonymous]

I probably would be. But why the f*** would I want that.😆

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yes id make an excellent parent 😎

[Thestupidusername]

Nice😎👍😆

[ColHathi]

Not unless something changes.

[Thestupidusername]

👀👀

[ColHathi]

As in me, right. Somehow I have to change, and I probably have to do that by myself. It's too much to go into here, so let's just say that I'm depressed, and it's not fair to have kids while I'm depressed.

[Thestupidusername]

Very valid points! Hope you find the solution!

[Anonymous]

Nope I'm the person other parents should give example to their kids not to be person like him. ☺️

[Carly2005]

No I have no patience for it.

[Thestupidusername]

👍👍

[Anonymous]

Way to soon to tell.

[Thestupidusername]

Alright well at least you are aware that's good😆