Would it make me a bad father if I don't lie to my children?

[MementoMori777]

About Santa claus, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, all that bullshit, I believe I can still give them a good childhood without having to brainwash them with a bunch of bullshit, would it make me a bad parent if I'm honest with them? I can still give them gifts and stuff but some fatass doesn't crawl down our chimney and steal our cookies, If some fatass broke into our home I wouldn't want my kid believing it's Santa and while he steals all my shit, my kid is believing that Santa is just doing Santa shit 😂

[Moose304]

I was born in 1958. During my early years, I got nothing for my birthday and most times a pair of shoes and 2 or 3 sets of shirts and pants for Christmas. I remember many times watching my mother crying in the days before Christmas because they could not afford to buy us toys. My parents always seemed to make Christmas a happy time though. As I look back at it I don't ever remember thinking Santa was real. What I do remember is going outside in the days following Christmas and watching all the kids in the neighborhood play with their toys. When you are walking around watching other kids playing with their toys and you have none it is hard to believe in Santa even if he was real. The day I gave the lady behind the desk at the dealership a bank check for >$100,000 for my new BMW I was later asked about it. I said Santa bought it for me making up for all those Christmases he bypassed me!

[SnowedIn]

Not bad, but...

... the real problem is you set up a dynamic where your kids are not only have nots (which sucks) but likely they'll be teased. Even in the best case scenario they won't be understood and that is harsh as a kid at school or church or in the neighborhood.

My kids know Santa isn't real and neither is the Easter bunny, etc., but we all play along. It's part of being a family. I bake the cookies with the two youngest kids, they put them out on a plate for Santa, and my oldest son eats most of the cookies that night.

No one lies, no one gets hurt, and best of all my kids don't have to face school with "we don't do Santa".

It's gotta work for you -- no judgement from me. I just suggest (as a dad with four kids 5th grade and up) you think about the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th order effects.

[MementoMori777]

I wasn't taking about playing along, I was specifically speaking of the brainwashing bullshit, if they want to pretend they can, it's not like I'll hide the whole idea from them, they just will know the truth lol

[Alli39]

Dude. Who hurt you?

And you're to exactly a terrible parent but you are going to put your kids in a difficult situation just because you refuse to play along. Your kids are going to show up to kindergarten knowing santa's not real. Imagine how that's going to go down. Personally I think it's better to give your children a little fantasy for the fun of it.

[MementoMori777]

If anything other people's kids are gonna be going home not believing Santa Claus is real cause my kid is gonna ruin dreams 😂

[Alli39]

Exactly. Why ruin the fun. I feel like there should be a parental agreement someone that you have to try and cling to the idea that santa exists for at three years after the point at which your child finds out on principle. If it doesn't end in everyone pretending and everyone being aware that everyone is pretending then it's not meaningful lol

[MementoMori777]

I guess you do make a point but still I feel like my child can be very mature at a young age if most of their childhood they aren't believing in fantasies lol

[Alli39]

That's not exactly fun, or even really healthy, for the kid though. Your child will grow up in their won time, trying to push it lowkey just creates trauma half the time because the kid isn't actually maturing any faster, they're just learning behaviors that make them seem mature, which can sometimes warp the reason they engage in those behaviors in the first place.

Also, as someone who read a lot of fictional novels as a child, I consider imagination and fantasy to be a super useful tool in learning about and teaching difficult emotional concepts, as well as inspiring joy and creativity in the individual.

[MementoMori777]

I guess but I think that's worse case no?

[Alli39]

I mean, no reason to even go there, ya know? If you can do something positive for your kids without harming yourself, and I'd say pretending santa is real is pretty harmless, then why not? Let them have that joy.

[MementoMori777]

I don't want to participate in hypocrisy to tell others not to lie but I lie to my own kids lol

[Alli39]

Hey dude, you do you. I just don't consider telling kids about santa to be hypocrisy

[MementoMori777]

Lying is Lying, it's more of a deception lol

[Alli39]

I mean I guess then you get into the moral question of "is all lying inherently bad" and I'm not sure that it is.

[MementoMori777]

It is, being untruthful is bad, even if the truth hurts, being untruthful is hiding the truth which is never right

[Alli39]

But why though? The way I see it, something is "bad" when it causes a harm, if your lie doesn't cause harm, or the truth causes more harm than the lie, then the lie is actually better.

[MementoMori777]

Depends on the lie, some lies cause harm and the harm here wouldn't be unappreciation, don't you think it's better for their kids to know the gifts come from their parents, imagine if your kid one day hits you with the "you never get me anything for Christmas, it's always santa" how would you feel lol

[Alli39]

I mean, I doubt there's actually that much harm in Santa realistically lol

[MementoMori777]

I might be stretching it but you never know lol

[Alli39]

Yeah, but I'd say if you're arguing on the grounds of morality, you have to consider both the harm and the benefit. If you have to "stretch it" to find the harm, but there's easily identifiable benefits, then logically, the action isn't all that immoral

[Anonymous]

No, but if your kids run around forcing your message to other kids who chose to believe, that makes them little assholes who might just get deservedly punched in the face.

[Opinion Owner]

There's no fighting when the older brother comes along and punches the kid out. Just tell your kids to keep it to themselves.

[Opinion Owner]

You're such a blowhard. Have a nice day.

[Opinion Owner]

Go right ahead.

[Opinion Owner]

What are you on about?

[Opinion Owner]

Those comments I deleted using the "I don't want to see this" are still not visible to me. Couldn't care less if you or anyone else can, once I read them I'm done with them. So I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Opinion Owner]

Took out the rest. Go ahead and delete the whole comment thread.

[Opinion Owner]

Are you going to delete my comment or not?

[Pinay_ako]

My parents didn’t need to tell me that Santa Claus isn’t real 🙄. I kinda figured it out. I used to hang stockings by the window, and nobody freaking put anything in them and I wondered how the hell did he gifted billions of children in one night? I’m not stupid 😂. You do your own thing as a father. Explain to them at the same time, let kids be kids. They’re not dumb. They’ll figure it out sooner or later

[MementoMori777]

Little Pako was smart just questioning Santa's existence, you were probably like "we don't even have a chimney" lol

If you were logically thinking as a child then you were very advanced for your age, which can only mean you are at megamind level rn ha but thanks I'm still not sure what ima do, I got plenty of time to think of it and it's not just gonna be up to me either so you know

[Anemone978]

Well if you have Muslim kids all the other kids will ruin it and tell them the truth like my kids and the fact my husband is Muslim and didn't buy them anything for any holidays while I was away they knew it was all me. LOL I will still do it for them tho because they enjoy it.

[MementoMori777]

Fair enough Ane lol

[madhatters4]

it's innocent. so let's not make it some "brainwashing" nonsense. it's fun. the enjoyment my kids get out of Christmas makes it very special for them.

feel free to do what you want. but it's fine to let your kids believe the little fantastical fictions that can make childhood feel extra special...

and just to be abundantly clear. it's not

brainwashing - make (someone) adopt radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible pressure.

[Blueeyes81]

My parents told me the truth from the getgo. Unfortunately it got me sent to the principals office in first grade. I told a kid that Santa wasn't real and he was adamant that he was real. I asked how Santa gets into people's homes and he said the chimney. I asked if he had a chimney and he said no and started to cry. I got a good long lecture about that one.

[MementoMori777]

Lmaoooo this got me dead bro 😂😂

[exitseven]

no, but it sort of ruins the experience for little kids. I did all this stuff with my kids. They all have good memories of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny

[MementoMori777]

Fair enough

[Meropatrick]

I really had a great memory when i returned from school one day and found my father bought us playstation i was screaming out of happiness. I think kids might be happy even without legends

[MemeSupreme]

being nice, taking cover of them, and letting them still be kids is what makes you a good dad in my book. i knew santa was fake and it never ruined it for me lol

[MementoMori777]

That's good to know, I want my kids to be aware that I'm the one stealing their cookies 😂

[MemeSupreme]

fr lmao they should know who got them their gifts. let them appreciate you instead of some imaginary old fart lol

[MementoMori777]

I like where your mind is at cause I've thought of that too, they are gonna be begging me for shit tho, I feel like Santa was created so parents can buy their kids what they want and their kids will blame Santa, imagine the kid asks for a whole gaming pc setup or someshit and you give him socks, then go like "Well Santa got you socks, don't get mad at him or he will bring you coal next year, behave" 😂

[MemeSupreme]

yeah i get wym lmao i'd feel so weird if my future kid asked for a gaming pc. like i grew up accepting whatever i got for Christmas, so i gotta be pretty well off if they're comfortable asking for that lol

[MementoMori777]

Yea like you are growing a money tree in the backyard or something, that's personally why I want to teach my kids finance, so they know it's earned and not just there, ima hit them with the "do I look like I have gaming PC setup kind of money" even if I do 😂😶

[McLlovin]

We have social media now, nothing is a secret. Kids are not as dumb and innocent as they were in the 90s… it’s best to tell them the truth as an example that they don’t lie to you either

[MementoMori777]

Actually ima limit their online as children so there's that 😂

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes. Choosing to be a good parent by protecting your family means you lie to your children. Not to break trust but because their brains are still developing and they need security from you. Let them have their innocence as kids and be creative and joyful. You would be a bad parent if at age 5 you filled in your kid on all the tragic adult things we all deal with everyday even if it’s the “truth”.

[Mangospacho]

They’re your kids so it’s up to you, really. You are gonna miss out on them getting excited for Christmas and losing teeth. If anything, they’re getting scammed out of not getting all that tooth fairy money.

[MementoMori777]

Lmao and Christmas presents if I was an asshole father 😂

[Meropatrick]

My parents never lied to me about such stuff and i had the best childhood. I dont think u need to do it

[MementoMori777]

That's good cause I might not lol

[XXblack88]

No but what kids don't learn from their parents they'll learn from their friends.

[MementoMori777]

Yea but they won't believe it lol

[XXblack88]

If you say so.

[inhua]

no you will not be a bad father

realism is needed, not unrealistic fantasies

[midnightmoon05]

Don’t know. Let’s talk when you get there.

[MementoMori777]

Fair enough lol

[LazerBean]

Not at all, it's stupid when parents do that.

[MementoMori777]

🙂💯🙏

[Stressyalaire]

I wish my father was like that.

[MementoMori777]

Lol why?

[Stressyalaire]

I think it's better to know how the world actually is.

[MementoMori777]

Yea I agree with you, it is, that way there's no surprises

[WhitneySnow]

Santa Claus the villain lol

[MementoMori777]

Exactly 😂

[Paul09]

Well all created by religions lol. How ironic! All created by man to control people.

[Simslover92]

No it wouldn't at all.

[slatyb]

No, it wouldn't I agree with you.

[hiyamotherfers]

No it wouldn't.

[Lexina]

Not at all

[MementoMori777]

Bet 😂

[Lexina]

🤣🤣

[OfDeath]

No it wouldn't.