Do you prefer your kids meet your expectations of them, or do you prefer they discover what works best for them?

[caring__1]

[Evelump]

Hi, I’m kid! Please, if your child really doesn’t want to do the things that you want them too, don’t make them (as long as it’s something unimportant like a sport, hobby, job or perfect grades). I for one am forced to golf by my father. I do not enjoy the sport and all I’d does is stress me out when I don’t shoot what he wasn’t me to. My parent’s expectations for my grades were also too high, punishing me for getting B’s when I’m “capable of A’s”. They themselves were C students. I started ignoring them (academics-wise) once I started taking collage classes my freshman year and I could tell them that I had more college credits than the both of them combined. I have found that school is a lot less stressful now, not feeling like I have to have perfect grades and clear my entire schedule for time to study instead of hanging out with friends. Giving your kids a mold that you want them to fit will only make them feel like they aren’t good enough for you by simply being themselves and that their grades or placing in their sort defines the amount of love that you have for them. This can ruin parental relationships and the mental stability of the child.

[caring__1]

Beautifully stated. It is the parents' responsibility to broaden their kids' perspective, not control it. When we feel we must conform to a specific mold, our confidence and self-esteem will be destroyed.

[SPIRIT208]

That’s so true, I’m in the same kind of boat, I’ve just completely given up on the academics as I will never no matter how many extremely hard courses I take will impress them. My Dad was the top of his class and was very bright and holds me to the same standards, i wonder how long it will take him to realize that I am not him. My mom is just always disappointed in me saying “You need to set yourself up for everything!” I don’t want to be a doctor, so why bother in those classes. They try to make me be an engineer but I don’t want to be. I found at an early age that I was good at music, so I am devoted to it, trying to impress them but I never will. My dad wants me to be a business owner and my mom wants me to be a Doctor, I want to be a musician. They won’t let me go to college to study music saying it won’t pay the bills. I understand, but if I put in as much effort as they are trying to get me to put into other things, I would prosper in that industry. It’s just annoying, and since I am their kid, I can’t confront them about it or I will be punished

[Evelump]

@SPIRIT208 Lol I’m studying Art Education, so we have similar long-term occupation goals lol. My parents think that going into art is dumb but I have informed them several times over that it’s not being an artist, it’s a school teacher who happens to teach art lol. I don’t even know WHAT my parents wanted me to do 😂

[Lara_Croft]

God is Good. They're going to have to think along the lines of; doctor, engineer, lawyer, entrepreneur... JK. Whatever God wills is all I route for

[caring__1]

Limiting a child's options to prestigious careers, even when it doesn't suit their true identity is child abuse. My son started off with an interest in art, and he became very talented. The artistic eye he developed early on has been an immense help to him as an engineer, allowing him to see alternatives other engineers don't see. He also enjoys teaching, composing music, writing and cooking. He has discovered every experience he's had has added something to whatever new endeavor he takes on. Manipulating kids to your agenda by claiming it is God's will is a quick way to turn your kids against God. I was raised the way you want to raise your kids, and not till I disconnected from my past was I able to discover my true self and thrive.

[Lara_Croft]

I added jk because I was actually joking. My parents too wanted me to become a lawyer, a doctor or an engineer. I'm one of those now and more but I didn't let them chose my career. God wills what is Good, and I will consider my children's desires alongside my advice.

[SlightlyBurnedPizza]

100% I'd prefer them to follow their own path, if they thought about what to do in the future and they can make a valid career out of it in my opinion they can leave school it its needed.

Although if they aren't on a path to their future, like just playing games and stuff I would want them to follow the direction of me and my wife then (I'm currently not married and don't have kids but I have thought about it).

I they have an idea that I thought of for their future and they would like to pursue it I will support that decision fully even if it doesn't make them financially rich or come with status or other measurements that of society to appear like a better person.

This is just my view on it.

[SlightlyBurnedPizza]

Edit:
As a parent it would be my job to expose my kids to different things in life so that they can make an informed choice.
A choice with only half of the story given isn't a choice.

[NathanDavis]

the healthier one...

lead them into being the best version of their own selves

[caring__1]

By leading them, aren't you determining the path they are to take?

[NathanDavis]

no... going by your allusion, I would determinate a wider and broader area, more like a park, in which they would be able to explore, find out, try out... within my supervision and guidance

but never a one, straight path that I would impose on them

[caring__1]

That sounds beautiful. Give them opportunities so they can discover what truly works for them. Too many families are single focused, so the kids can accept or reject, but they have nothing else to choose from. Being there while they explore and discover a wide variety of experiences will help them feel safe during this process.

[NathanDavis]

that is true... having options is a blessing

[IslaTheWitch]

Of course, I wanted them to meet my expectations :D But they are wiser and live their lives as they wish not their overprotected mother :D

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I’d like my future children to be happy and independent individuals.

[Keithfbx]

Don’t have kids. But but but… my kids shall be raised according to the Holy Bible, the Word of God. I shall guide and protect them according to it.

[caring__1]

In other words, they have no say in the matter. They'll be little robots.

[Keithfbx]

You have a nice day sir

[caring__1]

It is possible to program our kids like we program our computer.

[Keithfbx]

Okay, if you say so I guess

[Apple1996]

Whatever works for them

[riverrat3]

Walk their own path, but i do point out options