Why do parents argue in front of their kids?

[Anonymous]

What are you teaching them for their future relationships?

I was substitute teaching. During recess there was some kids playing house. One was the daddy, one the mom, the other the child. The mom and dad children were screaming at one another. But screaming about how the bills need to be paid and things like that.

It’s obviously learned behavior from what happens at home. Kids learn by what people around them do. Neither of these kids were form the same household. What I believed to be a genuine argument between students. Turned out to just be them playing house….

[Benplus10]

It’s not like they plan it out. They argue because they lack the necessary skills to navigate a conflict. Usually one parent feels defensive, and that triggers intense emotions most people don’t know how to deal with. Their parents ( if they had two parents) probably argued or worse in front of them, and so unknowingly they fall into the same circular pattern. It’s sad really..
There is hope, however. Once you’re conscious of creating similar patterns as your parents, it is possible to break those habits. Positive discipline is a powerful tool that helps create empathy and dialog. My wife is an expert in positive discipline. She has written a book, has a podcast, and has been sought out from people worldwide to speak at conferences, and trainings. It’s geared toward children, teens, whose parents have a difficult time with their kids behaviors ranging from hard to deal with at bedtime to teens making risky and very poor decisions. Instead of getting angry, yelling, threatening, or spanking/hitting, (which only models it’s ok to hit someone) it puts the burden back on the kid, and the parents aren’t carrying all this anger or resentment around. It builds trust, and opens up dialog so when you’re teenage son gets caught sneaking out, you don’t necessarily have to have a come-apart, but rather be curious about the why, and you can relax knowing that you don’t have to take away their x-box or iPhone, Ultimately , and it happens way sooner than anyone can tell you, those kids will be out in the world, making their own decisions and having to deal with the consequences from making bad choices. Don’t you want to set them up for success? Constantly telling a child what to do will create a kid who won’t tell you stuff ( the stuff that matters) and will leave them with the inability to think for themselves when they need to the most.
Look up Joyful Courage , or positive discipline, And take a class or listen in on who my wife has on her podcast. She regularly uses our family as examples. We are not perfect, nor do we claim to be the greatest parents. Our family has been through dark dark times.. and our kids are fucking amazing people who will/are going to contribute to society and make the world better. I don’t explain it all that well, my wife Casey is who will help break the cycle and flip the light switch in your head. Backed by brain science, not made up by left wing hippies

[Cutegirl06]

My mom and dad would argue in front of us kids then they realized it was having a negative effect on us and they haven't done it in about 5 years.

[Asker]

Good

[CaesarV]

Because they are bad at parenting.