MUCH depends on how you define 'argue'... diplomacy is defined as the ability to disagree without resorting to being 'disagreeable'. Genuine 'argument' is negotiated education based in indisputable 'facts' NOT mere perspective of 'opinion'.
Discussion is rooted in the societal legal liability of parenting vs the vested perspectives of all involved. This can range from benign neglect > apathy > contributory negligence > to criminally-liable 'Accessory-BEFORE-the-Act' as example of a 15 yr sentence of the parents who CHOSE to ignore their child's mental health issues and furnished their minor child with access to a firearm resulting in peer's manslaughter!
To a less extreme degree, the SAME premise applies to parental RESPONSIBILITY to provide their offspring 'education' in the application of their child's potential 'sexuality' BEYOND "DON'T touch yourself"... because, inevitably THEY WILL. Parent's role is to provide 'context' & perspective!
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I think it depends. My parents argued a lot and being young, it was hard to know how to feel when I got left out of one thing or another.
When my parents got divorced and things got very messy. If they didn't argue in front of me at least sometimes I would have had no idea what was going on and I think it would have been much worse.
At the end of the day you're a family, a unit. It's good to want your kids to grow up in a broken household but the only way to do that is to work on yourselves.
No matter what, everything you do effects eachother and kids aren't as stupid as they seem. There's no shortcut, you have to lead by example or at least be very open with the kids. Otherwise you have no control over how they're going to interpret their surroundings.
- s
Not necessarily. It depends on the argument and how the parents are able to navigate it. If it’s a valid (and child appropriate) argument, and both parents are actively trying to find a solution/resolve the conflict in a mature way rather than yelling or having tantrums, then I think that it could be beneficial for the child to witness - it could show them good problem solving skills, conflict resolution skills, etc.
If the argument is civilized and finishes with real action points or agreement it could be a good example for kids
But emotional arguments shouldn't be showed to the kids
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I grew up in the same house, on the same block, in same town, with same parents... and left home at 20 years old. I never once saw my parents argue. I just always believed that they never argued, because they loved and respected each other so much.
Then I got married, and I learned differently. In some ways I was glad that my parents never argued. I mean I knew they disagreed about things, but they never argued. Maybe if they had argued more, I would have been more prepared for my own marriage. But at the end of the day, it comes down to mutual respect and love.
My parents taught me love, not argue. Never marry someone that does not really respect themselves, because if they cannot do that, then they will never respect you.
No. That sets up unrealistic and false expectations of what a relationship looks like. They should have agreeable disagreements. They should model restraint. They should model coping mechanisms. They should model respect for each other. They should model "safe words" and walking away temporarily. They should model paraphrasing. They should model inquisitiveness to determine their role - to listen, to fix or something else. They should model a sticking with the issue at hand - no tangents or bringing up the past. In other words, they should do the exact opposite of what my parents did.
I would think it depends on how they do it.
If there's a healthy argument and it gets resolved in a good way, that's is good for kids to see, and a good way to learn how to resolve conflicts.
If they talk harshly toward each other for example, then that could be harmful for the kids to witness.I don't know what is best, but I lean toward parents not arguing in front of their kids. I know my parents never did. I don't think I ever witnessed them argue, but sometimes I knew they were angry or disagreed on something. Even that was rare.
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Conflict is a very normal part of life. Yelling and throwing things at one another is not a mature way to resolve conflict. It just shows your kids you are still an immature ass.
No, kids should learn that not everything in life is perfect, and that people sometimes argue, even when they love each other. It's more important for the kids to see what happens after the argument is over, that the argument did not end their parents' relationship. Making up is what they should see, and learn from.
They should not scream, they should not make violent motions, they shouldn't argue over inappropriate things with them present, they shouldn't use profanity or personal attacks/ad hominem.
If they do not do these and maintain a calm demeanor and focus on the argument being productive in the relationship it can be a really good example of how to resolve problems which is a great thing for a child to learn through observation
No. I think parents should argue and resolve arguments in front of their children to show them how it’s done. You know?
Kids pick up an every instability. If something needs to be discussed it's best to do it away from kids.
If it’s a shouting match, yes. That is extremely stressful. Working out conflicts in a healthy and calm manner though is a good way to set an example though.
The opposite. It is healthy for them to see how two mature adults argue.
Argue- give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one's view.no. it's useful when done correctly to show to kids HOW to have an argument. good for emotional development.
Yes, I do. If they argue frequently, they should reconsider the marriage.
- m
I wouldn't want to argue in front of my kids in future
That would depend on the argument. If it's kept low key and civil, it's fine to argue in front of the kids
If you don't agree on everything important, you shouldn't have kids together to begin with.
Yes. I have some minor PTSD from my parent’s arguing
I say they should. Will teach kids that love isn't forever
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