I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and i honestly do not know what to do about his lack of effort. I barely see him (use to see him about 1 time every week or two before covid), his parents do not acknowledge me; and now i haven't seen him in 3 months. When i try to tell him i miss him, he literally cringes because he knows hell have to try to lie to his parents to see me. Otherwise he won't. He won't stand up to his strict mom and dad. Whenever I've had enough, ill get into an argument with him about it and tell him "why dont you want to see me, why dont you work on things with your family?" He will make up excuses, agree in the moment, and then nothing changes. I will tell him that i want to spend time with him and do fun things, and he literally agrees that he's not doing enough. He has said to me "if you did cheat on me in the past or even now i would understand why." Then why not do something about it?
When we argue i feel like im going crazy. Because i will make a solid point such as "i haven't seen you in three months, why aren't you seeing me?" and he will respond with something like "Well i planned this (something he didn't even mention before the argument). So then ill agree and say "okay lets see how it goes. Then nothing changes, and when i ask why he will start saying dumb excuses; not things he is actually doing to show me he cares.
When i try to talk to him about this. Its like going in circles. Why does he never listen to my feelings? He asked to meet my parents after 2 months, and i am not getting nowhere near the same amount of effort from him. What do i do? should i bow down or back away? Is there a way to talk to men during arguments that would make him more inclined to listen?
When we argue i feel like im going crazy. Because i will make a solid point such as "i haven't seen you in three months, why aren't you seeing me?" and he will respond with something like "Well i planned this (something he didn't even mention before the argument). So then ill agree and say "okay lets see how it goes. Then nothing changes, and when i ask why he will start saying dumb excuses; not things he is actually doing to show me he cares.
When i try to talk to him about this. Its like going in circles. Why does he never listen to my feelings? He asked to meet my parents after 2 months, and i am not getting nowhere near the same amount of effort from him. What do i do? should i bow down or back away? Is there a way to talk to men during arguments that would make him more inclined to listen?
