Manipulative baby daddy?

[Anonymous]

So my child's father and I live in different states. We live about 4 hours apart which is not that much of a drive but I am the only one that is going back and forth (he doesn't have a license) Also he isn't helping with any of her necessities because he's refusing to work and wants to take her out of school and have her spend a week with him every month. I am frustrated with the situation because he also refuses to come to where I am at but can go to other states for battle rap. Mind you he doesn't call on a regular basis just when its convenient for him. Our child is always begging me to call him. But as a parent I feel the child shouldn't have to chase the other parent. I have explained that to him multiple times and he just does what he wants to do anyways then, tells me I am a bad mother for trying to protect her and tries to put our daughter in the middle of it.(she's 6) I have tried to keep the peace and do what he wanted but at the end of it he still is telling me I'm refusing to work with him and threatens me with court which we have already have 50/50. At this point is there any advice anyone could give?

[Oliverlogan263]

That doesn't sound like a very healthy situation at all. Your baby daddy is being super manipulative and selfish. A few things stand out to me:

- Him not having a license and refusing to work makes him taking the kid for a week every month basically impossible. He's only suggesting it to cause problems.

- You're right that a 6 year old shouldn't have to chase after their parent to get attention. That's messed up that he makes her beg for calls.

- Using threats of court and putting the kid in the middle are some lower tactics to try and control you. Major red flags.

- The fact that he'll travel for other things and won't come see his kid is super shady and shows where his priorities really are.

Honestly sis, I'd get a formal custody agreement in place through the courts if I were you. With it all spelled out black and white, he can't just threaten you whenever. You also need protection if he tries to withhold visits or whatever.

Documentation of all his empty promises and refusal to help is important too in case he causes issues down the road. Stand your ground - don't let him manipulate you into anything you or your daughter aren't comfortable with!

You're doing the right thing prioritizing your kid over his drama. Keep doing you and let the courts decide if he really wants to go there. You've got this mama!

[Asker]

Thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome mama