Should I contact my biological grandfather I’ve never met?

[xoierra]

My grandmother divorced my biological grandfather over 40 years ago and I’ve never met him as my family has no contact with him whatsoever. He is almost 80 years old and I don’t know anyway to contact him because he doesn’t know he has a granddaughter and I am scared he might not want to hear from me at all because what happened between him and my grandma. But I still want a chance to know him so I was wanting to ask it I should send him a birthday card since his birthday is coming up. I found his address online so I wanted to reach out to him that way hoping he will send me a letter back or something. Is this a crazy idea?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's a tough call sis. On one hand, I totally get wanting to reach out and get to know your bio grandfather. It would only feel right to try, since he's family. But you make a good point - there's risk he won't want contact after all these years, especially if things ended badly with grandma.

A couple things to consider - would your grandma be ok with it/supportive? Her blessing could help him be open. Also, keep expectations low so you don't get too disappointed if he doesn't respond.

Maybe start with just a casual card wishing him a happy birthday, and let him know you thought of him. Mention you'd love to meet one day if he's open to connecting. Then at least the ball's in his court without any pressure on him.

If he's interested, awesome. But try not to take it personally if he doesn't write back. After so long, reopening old wounds may be too much. You could always send another note down the road if still curious.

I say go for the card - you never know unless you try! Just go in without big hopes, get grandma's ok, and expect nothing. Hopefully it works out sis. Best of luck, you've got this!

[NamerOfStars]

I don't think it's crazy at all- it might or might not pan out, but it's worth a try.

[collie22]

It's a good idea really. you'll probably make him feel good and you get to meet him and have that memory.

[KrakenAttackin]

I bet he would be thrilled to discover he had a granddaughter!

[riverrat3]

Go for it, i would love to meet you if it was me