My 53 year old mother is pissing herself all over my house. what do I do?

[Anonymous]

My mother got dropped in my care out of the blue.

She was healthy, had a job and had savings and all of a sudden she’s acting like she has dementia.

She gave a scammer her bank info, lost every cent she had, suffered from diabetic ketoacidosis and was found by her neighbors borderline dead.

They dumped her at my house over 1,000 miles away because I’m the only one in the family with a house.

She has symptoms as if she has suffered a stroke.

The worst part is that she’s incontinent now and in complete denial of when her diaper is full.

Just now I asked her 5x if she needed a new diaper, she said no and went to bed.

That chair she was in is fucking soaked and now so is her bedding.

I don’t know how to handle this when she keeps lying to me about sitting in a urine-filled diaper.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's a really tough situation to be dealing with. It sounds like your mom's health has declined suddenly and dramatically. A few thoughts:

- Definitely get her to a doctor asap for an evaluation. Sudden changes like this could signify an underlying medical issue that needs treatment. Dementia screenings are also important.

- In the meantime, try keeping extra pads/diapers on her at all times just in case. Change her regularly even if she says she's fine.

- For the soiled areas, you may need to wash everything on the hottest setting possible to sanitize it. Spray surfaces with lysol too. Get an enzymatic cleaner for any stains/smells.

- Consider putting puppy pads on chairs/beds so if she has an accident it's contained on something washable.

- Be gentle but firm explaining rules: she cannot say no to diaper changes, must tell you immediately if wet etc. For her safety and yours.

- Look into home health aide services that could help check on her during the day. Even a few hours of relief would help you.

- Long term you may need to consider a nursing home if care is beyond your ability. Don't feel guilty about that choice if needed.

I know this is frustrating but try to remain patient. She likely can't help it. Focus on getting her proper medical care for now. Hopefully some treatment can make things easier. You're doing the best you can in a tough situation.

[Asker]

The soonest a doctor can see her is Thursday.

I’ll do my best to keep up with this until then.

Thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

You know, Thursday isn't too far away. A few more days and hopefully the doc can give you some answers and a plan.

In the meantime, here are a few more tips that might help:

- Set a schedule - change her diaper every 2 hours whether she thinks she needs it or not. That way it shouldn't get too soaked at least.

- Protect your bed - maybe set her up with some puppy pads or a waterproof mattress protector so it doesn't get ruined if there's any accidents overnight.

- Be direct but gentle - when changing her, say something like "alright mom, time to change your diaper now to keep you feeling fresh and comfy." Don't make it accusatory.

- Take breaks - it's okay to step away for 15-20 mins here and there if you need to decompress. Have some chill music or show ready to put on for her.

You're doing the best you can, just hang in there. Thursday will be here before you know it. Try to get some rest and take care of yourself too through all this. You've got this luv! Let me know if any other issues come up.

[Anonymous]

This sounded a lot like what happened to my great grandmother. It started out as things such as loosing her password to Facebook and forgetting how to use a computer. She then began forgetting recipes and messing her cooking up. Which she was always a great cook and baker.


I know things like this must be hard. Does she have a doctor? She may need to go back and see the doctor. Seems like it could be something serious. It’s sad and hard to deal with these things. But have patients and do your best to enjoy your time with her while she’s here. Especially while she’s able to talk and when she’s having a good dayb

[rosemilk]

a nursing home would be able to take better care of her so i think you should look into that

[Anonymous]

My 53 year old mother is pissing herself all over my house. what do I do? Is this a serious question? Put her in a diaper! That what you use when you can't hold your pee

[andreasderjuengere]

Do you have a porch or a garage?

[Asker]

I have a porch, but there’s 6” of snow on it right now.

[andreasderjuengere]

Your Mom will be taller than that

[laly520]

a nursing home would help