My friend keeps borrowing money?

[Anonymous]

So this is two part question. Am I being an asshole because I dont want to keep lending my friend money? She seems to always ask me for money as soon as my check it deposited. She takes a month to pay it back each time. I get it her and her boyfriend basically just bought a house and they have a lot of kids but why is she constantly asking me for money? And its gotten to the point she doesn't even ask me she just send the cash app request as if im suppose to just pay it like a bill. Then when she does pay me back she refuses to send it the way she got it. Should I ask her to send the money back through cash app and not through something I dont have?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that whole situation just sounds like way too much drama! Clearly your friend is taking advantage by constantly hitting you up for cash without asking first. Super disrespectful.

I wouldn't want to be her personal loan service either. She needs to learn some boundaries and not see your bank account as her backup fund, ya know? Taking a month to pay back each time is not cool.

I'd have a straight up talk with her. Be like "Look, I'm not a bank. You need to actually ask before assuming I'll send money. And you gotta pay me back the same way or not at all."

Lay down the law - no more open cash app requests. She can Venmo or check if that's all you have. But stop enabling her by just paying whenever she feels like it. Put your foot down sis!

If she's a real one, she'll understand. But be ready to cut her off if the mooching continues. Your hard earned money is not her personal piggy bank. Don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm, ya know?

Stay strong and look out for number one! She needs to get her crap together instead of relying on you. You don't gotta enable that mess.

[Fireguy17]

just let her know that the bank of Anonymous or whatever your name is, is closed, and you just no longer have the money available to lend her anymore.

[Asker]

I did Christmas time lentt like a 100 bucks around Thanksgiving I told her dont worry about paying it back thinking it would help her out. She still asked for like 60 before Christmas and I just told her no. And I thought that would work she still asked in January

[Fireguy17]

something odd is going on.
If she needs money that bad then she either needs to get a second job, or take a look at her spending habits.

[msmissydc]

Its a highly individual situation but I personally would say a few things, that feel important for me:

• You dont need to do it. Its a nice And supportive gesture but dont get yourself forced in your own mind, because friends.
• I would stop lending money the moment I dont get it back. As long as I get it back Everytime though, I feel they make themselve reliable.
• Knowing for what they need it, would make me more inclined As long as its believable.
• If its not a small ammount, Even between friends and family a contract is more than ok. Yes trust is important but if they are NOT ok with a contract, that makes them not trustworthy in my opinion.
• The lender decides how they get the money back. Just the way it was lended should always be accepted.
• If you feel they just use you. Make them pay interest. Which should allways be a valid option for larger sums. Not much though. You are not a bank, not in the sense of them using you like that neither as you needing to stay alive with that interest.

[rosemilk]

just... don't give her money! SHE is the one with the house, the husband, the kids, SHE should have it together and not asking a friend for financial help. let her deal with her own problems. it is NOT your problem.

[rosemilk]

once you cut your ties with her, which you should, she'll find someone else to mooch off of and it'll now be their problem. but i don't think they'll be as kind as you were.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I think it's pretty rude to just send a request and expecting you to send the money. I wonder if you'll see the money back if you try and complain about how she sends it back to you. I'd wait and then not pay anymore, but that's me.

[Asker]

I've tried that... but then I feel bad for the kids involved because they don't deserve to suffer. Im trying my best here to keep everyone happy and do the right thing but I also have things I need to do.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Do you want kids in the future?

[Asker]

I do but I dont know of God has that in the deck of cards

[Ms_Facesitter]

Say you do have the fortune of starting a family. What will you do then? Sponsor two families?

It's okay to lend money to your friend, but I'm just trying to say that you should be careful that your kindness doesn't get you in trouble.
As for her refusing to pay back how you would like. She should bend for you and do it how you want it. You lending her money is such a great gift and she shouldn't take that for granted. Changing the payment method is the LEAST she can do.

[Asker]

True I will ask her to change the payment method. You're right can't sponsor families. I'm not an ATM and I can't figure out how she learned my pay schedule she literally ask ad soon as my check goes into my bank account its weird.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Just be careful okay? Don't lend if she hasn't paid back the last bit yet.

[boobliker]

hold back on giving the cash out, she may not have in the app to send back.
but hopfully you do get it all back before you start paying out

[Asker]

She has the app and a card because thats how she gets the money when she ask for if.

[boobliker]

I think you need to think is she a friend, or someone you give everything you earn too.

[moneymagnet24]

When it's come to money..
I don't trust no one. You're such a darling if you keep lending.

[Asker]

I've been trying to stop leaning her money for a year now. But its always kids ran out of- insert necessary item- one time I think she lied to me and bought her boyfriend dinner but I let it go... but at this point I don't know what the boyfriend is even doing I don't know why he is letting his children run out of necessary items

[moneymagnet24]

It's none of your business what they do with their kids..
It's your hard earn money stop lending don't be weak.

[Asker]

Its not my business nor do I ask how they raise them, I'm asking why he does not make money or get a job to buy them the things they need that the mother always ask me to supply. I didn't make them nor do I raise them but she ask me for money to take care of them. I'm not going to watch them not have dinner or have a raw butter because there's no diapers or formula but I dont understand why their father isn't supplying diaper and formula I think you didn't understand what I was saying.

[Anonymous]

Stop lending

My business involves lending and even then you work out a cutoff point