Could it be me that’s the problem/issue?

[dearryy]

I am 25 years old I never had a close girl friend outside of my sister. Growing up in school I would start off with close girl friends but eventually they always created their own cliques and left me out and considering I’m quiet I never started any mess about it. I got use to being by myself. People knew/know me and they speak but it’s never more than that. Even with the few jobs I’ve had I always oddly end up being close friends with my older women co workers while the young women co workers that were/are my age, it’s nothing more then pass by conversation. I’m starting to think I’m the problem lol.

[rosemilk]

i'm shy and quiet, i kind of got better about it since i'm out of school and have my own life and a partner. but it is because you are shy/quiet. it is hard to make friends with people who are quiet, they get bored easily and don't have the patience to keep up with the quiet person. just what i learned with my experience of being that quiet person.

you just have to find someone who sees you for you and is willing to wait for your open up and want to get to know you. someone is out there

[StarWarGirl]

No but i think you are more mentally mature than your age that's why it is so. And it's pretty normal. There is same problem with me so I can understand. It's totally fine.

Having no friends or few friends are better than having bad friends or friends for just name sake, isn't it?

[art84]

I don't have close friends and am shy as well around people. I will say hi to people but that's about it and engage in small talk. Doesn't really bother me as I never been a people person though I just feel not interesting enough.

[laly520]

yes possible

if it keeps repeating then the issue is most likely u

[dearryy]

Yea. I mean I know I’m obviously not perfect but I can promise you I never did anything, at least to my knowledge unless I do things unconsciously that offend people, that would make me not have close girl friends. I’m not fake, I’m not someone who says one thing behind your back and another when it’s brought to your attention, I’m not the type to talk behind your back in general. in fact, the girls I always started off cool with did that, not me. I once had a real life “Mean girls” Cady moment. the scene where they three way called Cady and got her involved in their gossip and mess lol. I could be the problem but I’m trying to figure out where the problem resides.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Me neither, not even "mid close friends"

[dearryy]

Weird right? Lol I’m glad to no it’s not just me that experiences this. are pretty reserved and quiet?

[dearryy]

Like if they didn’t talk to you in the first place, those friends you had before they branched off and created their own clique without you, did you speak to them first or did they approach you? For me it was always someone would I randomly just start speaking to me. Other wise, I was in my own world.

[dearryy]

*know

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Yea same here. I'm reserved and quiet, I'm comfortable in talking one on one with a person but if its 3 or more, its very hard

[dearryy]

Same. I get pretty nervous and I start over thinking every little thing and it shows in my body language/energy. Like, I could be right there with the group but you can tell that mentally, I’m not there.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

yea overthinking makes life a hell, I am plagued by low self confidence. And yea I experienced that as well, I also never managed to get into any clique or people just excluded me. Before corona I had 2 friends I hung out with at university, now they dont want anything to do with me (too "busy" they say)