My mom is so annoying and I don't want to act rude to her. What can I do?

[winter]

She annoys me so much with non-stop questions. Also, she keeps commenting about my friends and their lives, and I always find myself in a position to defend them. I think this is toxic. I don't want to act rude towards her because I know that she only tries to maintain a conversation and all but it is very annoying. How can I fix this? Is there anyone who feel the same?

[cigarette]

It can be really tough when you feel like you're constantly on the defense, especially with someone as important as your mom. It sounds like she's trying to connect with you in her own way, but it's coming off as overbearing and intrusive instead.

First off, it's great that you recognize you don't want to be rude in response. Communication is key here. Have you thought about sitting down with her at a calm moment and explaining how you feel? It might help to use "I" statements to express your feelings without making her defensive. For example, you could say something like, "I feel overwhelmed when I get a lot of questions about my day. Could we maybe have a specific time to catch up instead?" This way, you're not blaming her but expressing how you feel and suggesting a solution.

You could say, "When we talk about my friends, I feel like I need to defend them, and it makes me uncomfortable. I really value our conversations, but I'd appreciate if we could focus on other topics."

Sometimes setting boundaries is necessary, even with our parents. Maybe find a hobby or activity that you enjoy doing alone or with friends to take a break from the tension.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Tell your mum to behave herself without being rude.

For example... Say this (Of the top of my head)
One day I'm going to have my own kids. Do you really think I'm likely to subject them to this kind of Gestapo type tactics from you? Now stop treating me like I'm your enemy.

Ok.. looking back? Maybe it was a tad rude, but she DOES need to be put in her place, or she will do it for as long as she lives!

[strateguy632]

interrupt her to change the subject. interrupt is rude but some rude is appropriate in this case:

2, if that doesn't work , when she criticized you ask "but how are you any better?" then she might talk about gerself. if not, hang up the phone to end or walk out, leave house to take a walk.

if when eating together think about a tv show to ignore her, these rude is appropriate.

[sheikalana]

I feel like most parents or at least one parent tends to be like your mom. In my case distancing myself from my Dad helped a lot. It used to drain me. I've never cut my dad out of my life but I certainly started limiting contact with him a few years ago and instead of telling him everything as I used to I choose what to tell him and don't give too many details and if he starts asking too many questions I stop answering. Live your life. Parents will always be there but they also need to understand our own boundaries.

[rosemilk]

smile and nod lol if you don't give too much of a reaction, she'll get bored.

[slatyb]

You are 38? Set boundaries with her. You are under no obligation to converse with her at all. See a counselor to talk about this and help you move towards a now positive relationship with your mother. You can't change her, but you can change how you interact with her.

[midnightmoon05]

As you get older, you communicate with your parents a little diffusing when you were young…

talk to her less about your personally life.
ask about her life. 😊

[Chelsdope0]

My mom is so critical… I became so used to it… I didn’t realize how unhealthy that was until I became an adult… now I understand why I talk so negatively to myself.

[DrPepper12]

Long past time for a discussion about boundaries. My mom refused to respect mine and were estranged now. Mental health wise I'm in a better place now but wish it didn't have to be.

[Staximus]

Change the topic of conversation to something you didn't mind talking about. She is obviously looking for stuff to talk about, maybe you are not such a good conversationalist

[laly520]

keep distance n dont entertain her

she will get bored

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

Change the topic or become the boring person to talk to.

[JayBones2469]

The good thing about annoying mothers is they don't have much time left on this planet. Just suck it up until she is gone.

[Bobby88t]

I think she want the best for you and dint kniw how to help you

[Anonymous]

put dye in her shampoo and film her reaction for a viral video

[jahaims]

Setting boundaries isn't rude

[JacobJordan]

Move out?