Why am I so rude to my mom?

Question

I'm 17 and for the last couple of years i have been so rude to my mom and i really don't want to but i just can't help it. I've called her the worse names you can think of and she still has done things for me after that. I can't help it but when she say things it just annoys me so much and i just want to put her down. Last night i came home a little late and she started giving me attitude and after i gave her attitude back she still made me dinner and stuff. why am i like this? and does this hurt her?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It pretty normal for teens and parents to fight. You are both navigating the rough waters of the time when kids really become adults - and not eveything goes smoothly.

It is ok to be angry and annoyed with your parents. Try to think more deeply about why they do what they do and understand the motivations - not to forgive necessarily, but to have a wider perspective.

When you do argue, do your best to keep it from becoming a personal attack - that's just good practice for adult life. Learn how to frame your points in a logical way rather than as emotional outbursts. Try to discuss things when you're calm.

This IS a difficult time for people, both when they are teens AND when they become parents themselves. If you basically love and respect your mother but are struggling to find your voice and establish independence, then try to focus on your goals instead of thinking how to shut your mother down.

My mother and I live together now, and it is STILL difficult. I have had to learn how to keep her anger and frustration from "penetrating" and making me feel badly. I try to hear her out with respect, even if I disagree. She has learned not to pick fights with me because I now will rarely respond. I let her fizzle herself out.

BLxox · Accepted Answer

She gets it. Me and my sisters (there's 6 of us) have all gone through that phase of are still going through it it's just the fact that you need to understand how hard your mom works for you and how much she cares even if you have those bad days at school or just in life go home and kiss your mom and thank her because one day she won't be there for you to yell at and you'll realize how poorly you treated her. Be thankful and appreciate what you have and that you have a caring mother to come home to everyday because some people don't.

rachetrachel · Accepted Answer

it absolutely hurts her. Ur very mature to acknowledge that it's wrong... in that being said. . Ull Definitely come to tears wen u sit her down just to say sorry. which u should do. it'll make u feel better and probably subconsciously help u to do better

EmptyVoid · Accepted Answer

People often take their loved ones and those who are close with them for granted. It's probably because deep down we know/think that no matter how badly we behave, they would still stick by our sides and not leave.

Of course it hurts her. She is your mother. She loves you and when people whom you love be rude to you, of course you're gonna feel hurt and sad. I know sometimes parents can be very annoying (I've been rude to them as well), but at the end of the day we are their children and they always mean well no matter how that makes us feel.

You are still very young. One day you will understand because you will be a parent too. Next time instead of acting rude toward her, maybe try to calm yourself down by being alone and avoiding arguments? That way you can cool yourself down without fighting with each other.

JuanElRolo · Accepted Answer

Of course it hurts her, why wouldn't it? I mean you are being rude to her, but remember that without her, you are nothing, she is the reason you are alive and you have a house over your head. You are probably like that because you want freedom and independence, and well you want her to feel bad about what she says. Remember that you are only 17, and you still got many years ahead. Trust me, my mom annoys me too, but I deal with it because well you could as well be annoying her with your attitude.

IslandGent · Answer

Maybe because you two are emotionally unstable, both of you don't think before you start using your mouth. You'd rather die being right, then live being wrong. That's something you both need to change, and if I were a parent and see my daughter come home late, I would've done the same thing. Your mom loves you, so go say sorry for everything. Foreals.

KyoKyo22 · Answer

I'm the same way with my Dad. I don't mean to act a certain way but it just happens. I guess it's all his demands he has all the time. I know he cares and I care about him but I guess it's just a phase. Evenually when you get older you'll have your own place and you'll probably have a better relationship with your mom because your out of the house and don't see her often. Since you're still under her roof try your best to do all she askes without complaint.

RohitMac · Answer

Well it's u age lol the Teenage is akind of age group where people don't like to be advised or to be treated like a kid and this is the age when the kid and parents develop a gap between
so fight as much as possible but don't forget to tell her U love her

izzie_morris · Answer

Sometimes it is because if you are very close to your mom and you know you can trust her and you have other things going on in your life she's the one person that you can put out all your emotions onto and it shows trust but hopefully as you get your life sorted out and become more comfortable with yourself your relationship will go back to how it was when you you're a lot younger and also did not have much on your mind

Nik1hil · Answer

Well its totally normal,

there are jokes like

'2 women sat quietly a whole evening on a park bench ".
technically possible, logically impossible

just like that

2 women cannot live without fighting and quarrels

just consider it natural, fight and quarrel but apologize before the day ends, and get over it.
she is your mom she has gone through same phase! she may might show anger but she knows what phase you are going through.

Anonymous · Answer

You need your ass whooped. She's letting you do it... I can somewhat relate. I give my mom an attitude all the time. I don't like to but I can't help it either. She lets me get away with it and she needs to discipline me for it. Now I've never called my mom a name. She's black so that'd be the end of my life.

huhhhhhh · Answer

I am going through the same thing and every little thing she does annoys me which I’ve come to understand was because of how toxic is and I didn’t feel like she wanted the best for me and I would make comments on everything she did. You just have to learn to accept the fact that the idea you have of someone isn’t how it’s going to be but you just have to learn to accept them for who they are even if you set boundaries which can be useful.

firaresta · Answer

sure this hurt her. but mother have tenderness and always forgive. u must behave urself. and what ur langue. and try to talk with her about what is botherin u and tell her u feel sorry about swearing her and u don't like do it. and she will understand

leafygreen · Answer

Yes it absolutely hurts her. She keeps doing those things because she is your mom.  And you can absolutely help it, you just don't want to. You let the side of you that is rude to her take over.

desireee512 · Answer

I don't know why but I can have an attitude with my mom too sometimes. I'm not as disrespectful as you but I just sometimes get put in a bad mood for no reason.

catelyntje · Answer

Yeah good thing you notice maybe you need to sit down and reflect on your behaviour so you know how to do it differently

Keiner · Answer

Well, if I were your father, I would have beaten the shit out you so you don't even dare looking at your mom in the eyes disrespectfuly anymore.

Chris1979 · Answer

because ur 17 and hasn't seen what ur mom has. all she trying to do is help u to understand life and teach u to be responsible.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know why but this sounds like a question a mom would actually ask to gain insight 😂

eagle1951 · Answer

of course it hurts her. you need to sit down and have a long talk with your Mom. trust me

Kampaii_Vic · Answer

Your Zodiac signs aren't compatible.

chuy10 · Answer

of course it hurts her she's got feeling too

Why am I so rude to my mom?

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