Do you think it's odd that i'm not invited to dinners?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I have been together long enough to be apart of family functions, I have met his family, extended family and I seem to be invited to most family functions but not birthday dinners when its just the intermediate family. I sometimes get a little annoyed with it but I try to look at the positives of it for me of not being invited and having a bit more time to myself. I am not sure if my boyfriend has even questioned why i'm not invited to birthday dinners to his family. Am I overreacting or would you be annoyed as well?

by the way, he is always welcome to family birthday dinners and functions in my family, there is no doubt about it. He says i'm part of his family but it only seems like it on certain days when it comes to birthday dinners

Yes it is

No it isn't

Updates

16 d

I should point out that it’s not his birthday dinners it’s his family members birthday dinners

[OlderAndWiser]

"Intimacy" doesn't refer only to having sex. It also means having enough trust and respect to be able to discuss things like this together. You'll get much further asking him than asking a bunch of anonymous strangers you met on the 'net.

[Anonymous]

Definitely odd, but it seems that in his case birthdays are reserved strictly for immediate family only. Does he at least spend the afternoon of his birthday with you though?

[Asker]

On his birthdays we usually do something together and sometimes they do a celebration with his extended family that I’m invited to. Now that I think about it they still do family dinners even if it’s my boyfriends birthday

[Opinion Owner]

I see. His family probably just has their own rituals and customs regarding birthdays. Does any of the other family members or his siblings/cousins ever invite their significant others (not married yet) to birthday dinners?

[Asker]

Well, his sibling isn't in a relationship yet so I'm not sure how that would of been if his sibling was in a relationship

[Opinion Owner]

I can imagine how left out you might be feeling but I think this is mostly just a case of differences in family customs. Maybe have a chat with him about this

[Asker]

I understand that and hopefully it changes when we live together. I just feel weird to talk about him because then I feel like it would be a pity invitation if I talked to him about it. I appreciate you helping me out though!

[XXblack88]

Yeah, it is if it's his birthday otherwise I'm not sure.

[Iron_Man]

Yes, it is boo 👻