Do you mind who messages first?

[Gochogirl]

I've noticed that I tend to be the one who reaches out to my friends first. Sometimes I worry that I come off as desperate or annoying, and other times I worry that if I didn't message first I'd never hear from them again.

Do you feel the same? Does it not matter to you? Discuss! :)

[Effably]

I do not mind if I am always messaged first. While certainly not a good thing, many of my relations work that way. I am happy with it and never view any of them in a negative light for it. I have just always been the person people go to and never someone who goes to others.

I do fully understand that always being the one to message first may make a person feel unwanted. Because of that I commit extra effort to make sure that messaging me feels extra rewarding and welcome.

Even so, I still make a point to send a message here or there just to not make it entirely onesided. Everyone wants to be desired, whether it is for friendship, attention or something else.

[CubaPirate]

It kinda matters it should be reciprocal

[RebelinSteel]

My main messaging is WhatsApp and I am in various clusters of groups. On there if I am organising something or need an answer I will message first, on a couple of groups I’m likely the last to message.
with some groups I do feel the need to message now and then as the chat is so quiet and you wonder if everyone is still there.
in relationships, it varies between who I’m dating, I am fairly chatty most of the time (work depending).

with close friends it’s sort of 50/50 between us all, if it’s quiet one day, then it’s very busy the next.

on here I’m crap as I don’t chat as such and rarely make first contact.

[ChiTown33]

I seldom message first. a lot of it is based in past experiences with that person. The more welcome I feel with that person the more likely I am to message first. When in doubt I don't want to bother someone. If I do message you, I message once, if you don't respond I don't message again. And I don't make a big deal out of non responses or delayed responses. If I message you I don't care if it takes you 2 weeks to get back to me (provided it's not time sensitive i. e. I got 2 tickets to a ball game that night I think you'd enjoy seeing).

[Chazmatazz269]

If i’m the ONLY one who reaches out, i’ll eventually abandon the relationship. One sided relationships are not satisfying for me. As long as a person brings real value to our interactions, i don’t care as much that they reach out less often. It stands to reason that they get less from the relationship than i do. It would be greedy to expect more. Ell oh ell!

[FatNeville]

I prefer it when someone reaches out to me rather than vice versa. I always worry that I'm interrupting a person with stuff he or she doesn't care about, or that he or she doesn't want to hear from me. But I like being contacted by someone and will happily engage in a conversation should the person give cues that such conduct is desired.

[SuziesSunshine]

With my friends, it’s 50/50. I really never feel like I’m desperate or annoying them if I message first if we haven’t talked in a while. Granted, I’m young and see them everyday, when we’re in school but even in the summer, I’ll text first without hesitation.

[TommyMountainFigure]

If I'm being honest, I'm terrible at reaching out first. There just never seems to be enough time in the day, but I do always answer, if indeed not straight away!

[OlderAndWiser]

No one in my generation would ever ponder this question. It is important only if you live your life in the digital world rather than talking to people voice-to-voice or face-to-face.

[bowenw]

Makes no difference to me. It usually works out that that we write back and forth so whoever wrote the last message waits for a reply, but it's not a hard and fast rule.

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope. To me people send messages when they can and want to share or catch up. I try to reply when someone reaches out to me but need to be better about saying hi and checking in.


Would you rather message first?

[NathanDavis]

we don't really pay attention to that... never have

[Nikki1989]

I can tolerate messages on here, but outside that I don't accept messages at all.

[Firestar01]

If you need to worry about that, they might not be the friends you'd imagine them to be. I don't have a lot of friends, but it happens organically. Around 50-50

[Iron_Man]

Once you get to know each other, just message at any time it doesn’t matter who goes first or not

[LiamS95]

It doesn't matter to me, I usually appreciate it if someone contacts me. It gives me the feeling that they care about me.

[Bklynbadboy12]

No I don't mind at all nut if your always the one that has to reach out first then that's a problem. Cause that seems a little one sided

[LunarEclipse433]

It doesn’t matter to me but I do enjoy when the female messages first

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

I DON'T KNOW IF I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS THE IDEA OF THIS IS MY TIME

[loveslongnails]

It's about 50/50 with my friends.

[eagle1951]

not really