My best friend of over 10 years still has feelings for me. Should I slowly downplay (or end) our friendship?

[Anonymous]

Is it selfish to remain close friends with someone who’s had, and still has, feelings for you?

My friend told me she had feelings for me two years (I believe) into our friendship, and I didn’t reciprocate that romantic interest.

She asked me a few years later if I wanted to go on a date with her, and I recently asked her if she was interested in anyone. She said “You? Lol, jk.”

[Chazmatazz269]

You have to ask her. If she’s experiencing mental or emotional turmoil over having you in her life in a different capacity than she desires, then you have to have a difficult and potentially painful conversation about whether you offer her enough as a friend to balance the pain she’s carrying. If not, you have to decide if you are willing and able to offer her more, or if you have to go separate ways. Even if you’re not actively doing things to make her uncomfortable or unhappy, if you really care about her, you should be willing to rip the band aid off and stop her torment.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice.

[Fanfare690]

Don't you care about her? You have to break her heart for her to move on

[Asker]

I absolutely do.

[Fanfare690]

You just gotta rip the bandaid off be clear and direct and break it off with her. It's kind of selfish being her friend