Does this mean my first boyfriend's parents still hate me?

[JaneDee5]

I acccidently bumped into them outside a supermarket parking lot after all these years. Both were still recognizable but obviously much older. However, just to be sure I asked them if they were my his (I said his full name) parents and another detail only they would know. They got startled, said yes and asked who I was.

I told them I was his girlfriend and basic details they clearly know. Then after explaining myself for a while, with such contempt in their faces (it was a look of recognition but with hatred), coldly replied ''We don't know any JaneDee. Good grief, our only son, our baby boy and youngest child is dead. Get lost. Good Bye''.

On July 16, it'll be 21 years later since his death. He was 19 years old. He pushed me out of the way of a drunk driver at the time. When I assisted the funeral at the time, his parents didn't speak to me when I (then 19) told them my condolences, just nodded and walked away. I feel so awful because I used to get along with them before. They were once sweet to me and even got along with my parents. Now this encounter made me feel guilt all over again. I guess they still hate me don't they? He would've been 40 by now, my age.

Updates

+1 y

I apologized for the inconvenience and left. After a couple moments of that encounter, I started crying for a bit, feeling guilt all over again. He was my first love, the guy I've always loved at the time.

[Lowly_Grump]

To the selfish parents of your first boyfriend I say:

"You ancient wombats! Your hearts are as cold as a penguin's toenails, and your manners are as pleasant as a dragon's bad breath. JaneDee5, my friend, is a shining star compared to your dimly lit lanterns. Their love story is tragic, and you two are the moldy breadcrumbs in the glorious sandwich of life. Go nibble on some grumpy worms and leave my pal alone! Your faces are as welcoming as a slug's slimy trail, and your words are as comforting as a porcupine's hug. JaneDee5, my dear, chin up! These grumpy geese are just sour grapes in the wonderful wine of life. Their hatred is as pointless as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. You are a glorious unicorn in a field of grumpy donkeys. Trot away and leave these fools in the dust!"

[JaneDee5]

Wow. I really have nothing against them and hope they can one day come to terms with their son's death. They weren't always like that. They changed so much after his death.

[Gent207-2]

Wow that encounter just re-opened a massive emotional wound

If this is how they are imagine how they would've been if you had married their son. They would still treat you with the same cold cruelty

[JaneDee5]

Indeed I ended up feeling the guilt all over again. It was like I was frozen in time, back to 2003 again. Every now and then I still be responsible for his death. In their minds, they still see if as the girl that killed their little boy's (their youngest child) death.
I knew them so well before his death and they used to be very sweet folks. They actually used to adored me and liked my parents too. We were close once. In fact they were happy we were in love and thinking about getting married after finishing college.
It's just that they could never overcome their son's death and in their minds I killed their child. Feels terrible.

[JaneDee5]

If he were alive and we got married, I believe they would've been happy. It's his death that changed them so much.

[Gent207-2]

I doubt that
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself to heal and mend your own hurt first and then if possible, the hurt between yourself and them. After all this time they have not forgiven you. No compassion nor desire to understand what happened.
They are frozen in the emotional hellscape of 2003. I imagine it would be the same if say your wedding went awry or wasn't up to their standards.

[Nikki1989]

You are 40, move on.

[JaneDee5]

He'll always be a part of my life. I'll always have him in my heart. I was only trying to start a conversation with them because I randomly bumped into them by accident. After that encounter, I left.

[JaneDee5]

I've moved on. I'm married with a daughter and triplets. That doesn't mean I've forgotten my first love completely. There is still a spot in my heart towards him.

[Anonymous]

Sure seems like it.

[JaneDee5]

It was sad being dismissed like that after all these years. It's hard to believe they used to like me once.

[JaneDee5]

I never really got over the guilt.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand, focus on forgiving yourself and letting go.