My step dad hates my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My step-dad flipped out a couple months ago because he found out I spent the night at my boyfriends apartment. He didn't like him anyways because of numerous things, true and false. He threatened to have a restraining order and all sorts of crazy things. My boyfriend and I broke up but I've been seeing him again. Every time I lie and say I'm going to a friends house or something. How do I tell my parents I'm seeing him, or should I even tell them?

Updates

+1 y

My parents almost got divorced because of the issues that were raised whenever he flipped out, my mom also believed that he was being unreasonable. They have gotten over their differences and seem very happy. If I tell them they will start fighting again

[TwinTurbo]

I'd hate to say this, but if parents disapprove of something in your life as important to you as a boyfriend, there are likely deeper issues as well.

Without getting into that, I noticed that this is in the age category 18-24, which makes you a legal adult. Now I don't know the logistics of your situation, as far as where you live and all that, but I'm guessing you still live with mom and step-dad. I also don't know the relationship that you have with your parents, but face value, it sounds like they are worried about you.

Regardless, I think the best thing to do is sit your step-dad down and talk to him. Tell him with sincerity that it means a lot that he cares so much so your well-being. Then tell him that you're an adult and you'd like to make your own decisions. Also, that you're smart enough now to know red flags when you see them. He'll likely respect the honestly much more.

Again, I don't know the specifics or details of the whole situation, but if it's how I imagine it, you can kind of go off of the whole girl-becoming-a-woman card.

I'm dubbing your boyfriend as 'Dan'.

"Hey, I really wanted to sit down with you to talk. I wanted to be honest with you and tell you I'm seeing Dan again. (Pause for likely interjection) Look, I know you must be so frustrated and disappointed about this, I know how you feel about him. I know you think he's ______, _________, and probably _________. I want you to know that he's not a bad person, he has a good heart and I like that about him. But it's not about him, it's about me. Step-dad (or whatever you call him), I'm (insert your age) now, I'm smart enough to make my own decisions and strong enough to hold my own. It means a lot to me that you care so much, but you don't need to worry about me. I'm a woman now."

Or something like that. Adlib all necessary parts and it's good to go! If you carry yourself correctly, this should go well!

Good luck!

[Thiezz]

At your age you should just tell him to mind his own damn business.

[Asker]

=) I agree. But I still live at home, I am 18 and I can't afford to move out