My big brother hates my boyfriend?

[nessa4111]

My big brother isn't really related to me but he is my big brother and always will be. He has always been there for me and is basically the only older male figure in my life because my dad has never really been there. My brother is extremely protective of me and acts like its his job and responsibility to protect me. Well I meet my boyfriend last year and at first it was really really good then we got in a huge fight because he got drunk in cheated on me with my best friend we got through it though. I really really love him but my bro hates him and wants me to break up with him? What can I do to make them get along?

[zachg]

first off family doesn't end with blood. (just thought I'd throw in my favorite saying since it applies)brothers are protective we have a code. siblings are our life so we'll protect them with just that. for example when my little sister was seventeen her boyfriend wanted to have sex but she didn't want to. well when I was hanging out with them he started saying they should go and have sex. I beat him withing an inch of his life and told him to stay away from my sister. that is the kind of thing brothers will do so what your brother is doing is restrained.

also as a brother I can say this. when we make up our mind about what we think is good for our siblings it's incredibly hard to change our minds. so if he doesn't like your boyfriend that may not change.

another thing too know about older brothers. we can tell what your boyfriends are like and what they want. we have the knowledge that comes with experience. we can look at younger guys and tell what they're like. if your older brother doesn't like him maybe you should listen to him.

also I tried staying out of my sisters life a little more when she was going through high school because I wanted her to have fun with boys without them being scared of me. I tell you this because maybe your older brother might be trying to not be overprotective. he could know your boyfriend has been screwing around on your or is into something bad but doesn't want to seem like he was looking into him.

and seeing as your boyfriend has cheated on you once he'll do it again. just saying.

i think you should ask your older brother what traits about your boyfriend he likes and doesn't like. what aspects of his personality he likes doesn't like things like that. also ask your brother about your boyfriend. things like do you think my boyfriend is cheating on me again. your older brother can see things you don't because he's viewing the relationship from a different point of view. a higher vantage point if you will.

to summarize- ask your brother more specific questions. and if he still doesn't like your boyfriend it might be worth breaking up with your boyfriend

[snowboarder720]

well first of all, your brother sounds like a damn good brother. I can relate to how he feels, because I look after two of my sisters. Its the code of the brother, you have to look after for your siblings, its what a responsible brother does. Whether you love it or not, you have to deal with your brother being protective. He loves you a ton.

Second of all, why are you with someone who will cheat on you? from the looks of your pic you deserve MUCH better, don't fall for a guy who will treat you like crap. I don't blame your brother for hating him, if some douche was treating my sister like that I'd diffidently have a few words with him... you got to learn how to stick up for yourself or your brother will. It's that simple.

[nessa4111]

Im with him because he loves me and as for my brother I love him to death and he's a great big brother but he's always telling me what to do how to act what to wear and all of that stuff so I don't think he has an honest reason not to like my boyfriend and its just him being overprotective and when I ask him why doesn't like him he just says that I deserve I guy who is actually good to me and loves me what does that even mean?!

[snowboarder720]

again, your bro seems like a good guy. But I don't know about the whole telling you what to wear and act. I love to tell my sisters things that they can do to seem a bit more attractive for guys that I'll like. I just don't want to be an jerk to them and tell them what they can/cannot do, its their life. I want them to be happy, and I bet your brother feels the same about you.

what does that mean?... it means to get a boyfriend who won't cheat on you! haha

[nessa4111]

Would my brother ever really think anyones good enough for me

[snowboarder720]

thats a good question. every guy is different, I don't know your bro. But word of advise, get a nice boyfriend.

[nessa4111]

my guy is nice he just doesn't know when enoughs enough or how to keep it in his pants but you know every guy comes with flaws right

[snowboarder720]

just like how every rose has its thorn

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that your brother hates your boyfriend, his actions were horrible to you. the only thing you can do is give them time, time for your boyfriend to prove that he's a good guy

[akkenny]

pretty sure he's prven himself unworthy already

[Anonymous]

u cant. you can't make anyone do anything. its gotta come naturally and if he hates him, don't you think he might have a godo reason why he does. try talking to him about it before you force anything on him. thatll only drive him and you away putting stress on you and your bf's relationship

[unknown_artist]

Your brother knows better than you. He really cares for you. May be some way, he found out that your boyfriend cheated on you. So that, he doesn't want him to be your boyfriend again. Because, he knows, once a cheater, always a cheater.

[akkenny]

sorry but your bros right. dump and pump.