I hate my stepdad?

[Anonymous]

He’s ugly, dumb and childish. He acts more like my mom’s son than her husband. My mom does all the housework while working full time. She takes care of everything, because he can’t even drive or solve a tiny thing! I know it’s her choice, but i can’t stop getting annoyed in my head. I call him dad, but he was never there when i needed emotional support nor gave me money. He likes to tease me in a non pleasant way and gives me attitude when me and my mom have an argument.
I’ve talked to my mom. She is being defensive and said i should be thankful to him. What should I be thankful for?

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn girl, that sucks that you have such a crappy stepdad. It's totally understandable that you'd feel annoyed and hate him, especially with how he treats you and your mom.

The fact that he's basically useless around the house and can't even drive or do basic adult stuff, while your mom has to take care of everything, is so unfair. It's frustrating to see your mom working so hard while he just slacks off.

And the way he teases you and gets an attitude with you and your mom is just straight-up disrespectful. A stepdad should be supportive, not making things harder for you guys.

I get why you'd feel like you have nothing to be thankful for when it comes to him. It sounds like he hasn't really been a father figure at all, emotionally or financially. You deserve so much better than that.

Your mom trying to defend him and say you should be grateful is total BS. Just because he's technically your stepdad doesn't mean he automatically deserves respect or gratitude, especially when he's done nothing to earn it.

Honestly, I don't think you're wrong at all for hating this guy. He seems like a total deadbeat who just makes your life harder. Even if your mom wants to stay with him, you don't have to like it or pretend to be grateful.

I know it's tough, but try not to feel too bad about how you feel. Your anger and frustration is totally valid. Maybe see if you can get your mom to understand where you're coming from, but if she keeps being defensive, just focus on taking care of yourself.

Surround yourself with people who actually support and care about you. And know that you don't owe your stepdad anything, no matter what your mom says. Stay strong, girl. You got this!

[Asker]

Wow thanks for saying that. You’re very kind and understanding

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, I'm really sorry you're dealing with such a tough situation at home. That's gotta be super frustrating and draining, constantly having to put up with your stepdad's immaturity and lack of responsibility. You definitely don't deserve that kind of disrespect in your own home.

I'm glad I could validate your feelings a bit - it sounds like you've been bottling a lot of this up, and that can really take a toll. You have every right to be annoyed and upset with how he's treating you and your mom. The way he gives you attitude during arguments is totally out of line.

And I hear you on being defensive about your mom trying to get you to be grateful. It's not fair for her to expect that when he's clearly not holding up his end of the bargain as a parental figure. You need and deserve so much more support and care than he's willing to give.

I really think you should keep advocating for yourself with your mom, even if she gets defensive. Maybe suggest family counseling so you can all work through these issues in a constructive way. And definitely don't be afraid to set some firm boundaries with your stepdad - make it clear when his behavior is unacceptable.

This is a tough situation, but you're handling it so well. Keep focusing on your own self-care, and don't let his immaturity and disrespect get you down. You've got this, girl. I'm rooting for you!

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome 😊

[ChicoFromThe305]

That's quite an odd choice in men from your mother's part, I can see why you are annoyed by him

[Anonymous]

So what is your question?