Would you see this as inappropriate/wrong?

[Razp_Sorbet]

Imagine your mother has been dating a guy for < 8 months. The guy has a daughter who a few days ago gave birth to her first child. Your mother makes a post on social media with photos of her and the guy she's dating holding said baby with a caption that says "we have a little grandbaby". She's now getting congratulation comments for becoming a grandmother...

Thoughts? Feelings?

Am I alone in thinking this is incredibly weird and not okay?

Updates

+1 y

I feel like I should add that this is about my partners mother, whom he doesn't currently talk to. Since this has happened she's made a few cryptic posts pertaining to the lack of relationship. She's a very impulsive person. Has jumped from relationship to relationship has even married a guy after knowing him for 6 months then divorced less than a year later. She gets upset about nothing and says hurtful things then act like nothing ever happened.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like your Mom is happy with being in a relationship with him , so I see nothing wrong with her being excited about his daughter having a baby , if they are both happy with each other , they would probably do the same for you, if you had a baby , Just because they aren’t married , doesn’t mean they don’t love and care about each other , it just seems awkward to you because you aren’t use to your Mom being in love with someone else , other than your father. I agree that’s usually not easy to grasp , but that’s the joys of life when things don’t go the way we thought they will. I don’t know why your parents aren’t together anymore but understand that has nothing to do with you , your Mom more than likely still loves and cares about you , so you should be happy for her , that she is being happy with her boyfriend. Unless you hate her boyfriend than that’s a different story lol

[Razp_Sorbet]

Read the update

[Finchie40]

Ok it sounds like she is mentally insane and scared to be alone

[RebelinSteel]

It’s weird as there is a disconnect between what would be normal, if they were engaged or long term partners and had that connection with his daughter. Without it then yes it comes over as a strange thing to say. Also if the guy is not seriously thinking about a relationship, that would make him go eek lol.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I get that you’re not thrilled about your mom playing that role just for dating a guy, but that’s kind of how it works when dating in families that have already been made. Just because she’s a stepgrandma doesn’t mean she’s any less of a grandmother to this infant that doesn’t even remember faces. Maybe you should ask why it bothers you for your mom to take on this role with someone else’s daughter?

[Razp_Sorbet]

Not my mum my partners. She goes through relationships like nobodys business.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Alright, and when that relationship ends she won’t have the grandkid anymore, problem solved

[petitedollbabee]

That’s very weird, but only because they haven’t been together for long, so the mother isn’t really part of their family. If they’d been together for years then it would be different.

[Billlewis]

I think that's one of those things that varies widely from person to person. Being (apparently) from the Great British Empire, long known for its citizenry being impeccably courteous, it's not hard to understand why that would be a faux pas, in your view. Here in the U. S., we tend to be a lot looser, if downright boorish, so it likely wouldn't be as uncouth to most people here.

[Kaneki05]

No... That's how been a grandma works lmao.

Would you not be a father or mother to kids if they lived with a single parent because the other is out of the picture?

Well you would be don't matter if it's biological or not that is the role your taking.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Sure I have nothing against non biological grandparents. My grandfather isn't related to me but he didn't claim to be anything to me or my cousins until he and my grandmother were well established

[Kaneki05]

'Well Established' That's subjective is it not?
And what's the worst that's gonna happen, if things go wrong she's no longer a grandma if that's what the parent wants.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Worst that can happen is confusing a child and causing tension with the biological grandparent.

[Kaneki05]

No. A baby couldn't care less it has no idea what a grandma is lmao.

[MicahRaine]

Yes, it is wrong and inappropriate.

• They haven't been together long (and therefore presumably aren't committed)
• It's literally in no way shape or form her grand-child
• It may be for clout so that she can appear "steady"

[JesseP1nk]

What the fuck? 🤣 People are fucking weird. People need to go look up definition of "grandmother"

She was not her daughter- so she is not a grandmother

[Razp_Sorbet]

There are certain situations where I think claiming to be so is absolutely fine. My grandfather for example is not biologically related to me but he's been around since before I was born and didn't claim to be anything to us until he and my grandmother were well established and it was all agreed upon. But not after 8 months 😬

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Maybe it is kinda out of her "role" to do that yet, but it's definitely not weird.

Seems like she just consider her partner's daughter, as her own daughter.

[OfMiceandMen]

Little weird that she claims to be a grandmother when she's only been with them that short a period. If she has kids herself that don't have children, then I am sure it would be a little hurtful.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Some of the comments are asking if the baby is her eldest sons (my partner) none of her kids have their own children

[IslaTheWitch]

if this guy and his daughter are fine with it... I can't see a problem here...

[NathanDavis]

I mean, my mother loves children that much... lol

so I would not be surprised... lmao

[Razp_Sorbet]

Loving children is fine but to claim it's your first grandchild when your own children haven't had kids yet?

[NathanDavis]

okay, now I see how that is going to weird out the actual family...

love is love, though

[Razp_Sorbet]

Absolutely... I do wonder how the maternal grandmother feels about it

[NathanDavis]

not amused, I am sure... both of my biological grandmas were competitive either way, haha

[KittyKat90210]

I think it's very weird. Dating a guy for less than 8 months doesn't suddenly make her the grandmother to his daughter's child. It sounds like she's looking for attention and/or looking to "create" a family that she doesn't have

[TommyMountainFigure]

Posting anything or even having social media accounts is totally alien to me, so yes absolutely it seems weird and wrong to me. I'm sure though some people will find it perfectly acceptable!

[TommyMountainFigure]

As for claiming the baby to be hers.. Yeah that one didn't even compute it was so tacky, until I read other posts.!

[sawno]

I don't think this is wrong if she's with him, if I am with someone who has a child I treat that child as my own to to be fair to the child.

[GeminiDiamond]

Weird. But also not weird. Kinda one of those odd situations? Your partner should tell her congratulations and be happy for her and keep any thoughts to himself. It is his mother.

[ChicoFromThe305]

It's wrong if the baby has a grandmother and she's passing for the grandmother, if the child has no grandmother then your mother taking the role isn't that bad cause there's no one that has the role.

[RavVid]

Can see your point. I think the daughter's view has primacy though. If she is OK with a non blood grandmother I'd let it go.

[AviatorTom]

It's not inappropriate or wrong. Let her enjoy it. She and the guy seem to have a good relationship.

[luvstoned4him]

It is weird but I mean bringing a child in the world is a happy occasion so just be happy for them

[Kelly6]

@Razp_Sorbet i don’t see anything wrong in this.

[Kelly6]

@Razp_Sorbet
after fully understanding this,
yes that is weird and wrong.

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t understand the problem. Eight months is long enough to be serious about a guy.

[Alex-Snow]

It seems kinda weird especially since she has only known the guy and his daughter for 8 months and they are not married

[MrGSpotHer]

I find it strange too, some people are easily attacked to others though. I don't think they mean bad by it even though it's terribly annoying when it happens to me

[exitseven]

That is pretty weird. Maybe she wants to be a grandma and you are just not doing your part. 😊😊😊

[Bklynbadboy12]

What I must've missed something what inappropriate about that

[Anonymous]

Well it’s strange in a way because he is just her boyfriend and not married or blood related for that matter so it’s just odd to say that but apparently your mom is serious with him to say that

[Staximus]

Sometimes you just have to let idiots be idiots

[avery58]

Yeah that's pretty weird and out of place

[msc545]

Why is this a problem for you?

[DrPepper12]

Weird and rude and kinda inexplicable

[Anonymous]

why would it be wrong? this isn't illegal

[MasterKS]

She playing well, social life and private life!

[shortster]

Seems a bit premature

[KrakenAttackin]

Your mom is delulu.

[Twalli]

Weird since she and the guy aren't even engaged.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

I don't want kids, fuck em

[OhLongJohnsoning]

my answer still stands

[KasiKesh]

You are right my dear

[Jrg98]

That’s too soon wow