Am I wrong for making my wife think our kid had been kidnapped for a few minutes?

[Anonymous]

So here is the story. In my home town it's a felony to leave a child unattended in a car if said child is young enough to require a car seat.

My wife and I were ordering from subway one day, I was at work, she was at home, and I suggested the one that has the drive through for convenience. She told me no, that she would just leave the kid in the car while she went in to get the order. I told her that I was super uncomfortable with that, I didn't want her to get into trouble and I didn't want the police to take our child from us. She told me I was being paranoid.

So one day I was headed home from work, I saw my wife parked at the gas station. I pulled in, I figured hey, I'd hug her, and maybe get a snack. When I pulled up, I noticed that our son (age 1.5) was in his car seat and she was inside. I chose to get our son from the car (door isn't even unlocked), and put him in my car ( I have a car seat as well) and pull around to the other side of the gas station where she couldn't see me. Just 5 minutes later she's calling me frantic because our son is missing. I told her I have him and that I would meet her at home.

When she got home she demanded an apology from me, she felt what I did was extreme. I told her I was sorry for my rash choice, but I was not sorry for trying to force her to see the safety and legal issue. You see I had a friend whose wife left their child in the car, the police took the child, and he ended up having to divorce thier mother to get custody of the child back.

I'm on the fence on this one. I feel like she was wrong for ignoring my wishes and the law, but I was wrong for scaring the shit out of her.

[meepmeeperton]

LOL I think you did good. I mean it’s a bit extreme but it is really irresponsible of her to leave a child that young in the car like that even if it’s just for a few minutes. It was obviously long enough for you to be able to take him, that could have easily been a stranger or the police like you’re worried about instead and it would have been much worse for her then. Especially since you know someone who got in legal trouble with that it’s wrong for her to flippantly ignore your wishes like that.

I think it makes sense that you express remorse for scaring her that bad, but she kinda deserves it if she’s not gonna take your kid’s safety seriously and brush your concerns off as “paranoia.” How is it paranoia if you clearly had enough time to easily take the kid and the doors were unlocked?

[Asker]

Thanks.