Is it too weird if my stepdaughter becomes the surrogate mom for me and her dad?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I want to have a child, but I have bipolar disorder, and he doesn't want me to carry the child because of the complications that might happen due to the medications I'm taking.

Paying for a surrogate is too much for us. We are wondering if his daughter from his ex-wife will be willing to carry the baby, but it will still be our genes.

I worry that it would be too weird. We haven't asked my stepdaughter if she's willing to.

Can I get some perspective?

Thank you.

Updates

1 y

I didn't mention this but the money would be a really big help to my stepdaughter too. She has a son and she's struggling to keep a job.

[osmanthus]

I understand your apprehension. A stepdaughter from a previous marriage isn't likely to want anything to do with the newly formed couple (yourself and your hubby), since he left her mother. It would depend on the quality of the relationship this stepdaughter has with both her biological father and biological mother. I might suggest a referral from a fertility doctor, instead, to do an implantation on a willing and registered surrogate. I do not recommend asking this stepdaughter for her help given her situation.

[Asker]

I have a good relationship with my stepdaughter... but I'm not sure if it's good enough.

[osmanthus]

Additionally, if this stepdaughter needs money, you may ask her to finish some tasks for you both so you can look after this newborn and pay her summarily by the hour or whatever arrangement befits you all.

[osmanthus]

If in doubt, it probably isn't best to go forward, regardless of how good you think the relationship is. Old hurts still hurt and don't go away.

[rosemilk]

i think there should be a line that's drawn there and i think it's stepping over that. personally, i think that's too much to ask of a stepdaughter when this will be her dad's child. it's just kind of all around weird...

i still wish you luck, but i think you should go with another approach

[ChicoFromThe305]

By carrying you mean babysit or like full on preggo?

[Asker]

Full on preggo

[ChicoFromThe305]

The reason I don't think it's a good idea Is cause I'm pretty sure the pain of pregnancy and the wait of 9 months bonds a woman with their child and it's possible that it might bond her with your child.

[bowenw]

It seems like a reasonable thing to ask.

[Asker]

Sorry, but I can't tell if you're just being sarcastic, are you?

[bowenw]

I am not being sarcastic. It sounds like a good idea to go with someone you know. Sorry I gave you the wrong idea.

[Asker]

No problem, thank you.

[bowenw]

It can't hurt to ask her, but I wouldn't pressure her.

[Anonymous]

What could possibly go wrong?

[DishLady]

Yes it is.

[jahaims]

Don't reproduce