Dating a girl who is a surrogate mother?

[Anonymous]

(We're in our early twenties. I just put my age in wrong on accident.) I met this girl who is basically a good match for me in many ways. She is very attractive, kind and outgoing to keep it simple. The only thing is that she is a surrogate mother for another family. It is off putting and I'm not sure of what to think of it.

[Vsg256]

I’m a surrogate, currently 4 months. Dating a guy who thinks the whole thing is weird. We met before I signed the contract and got inseminated, but I was already in the process of doing it. Over the past 4 months, I’ve dealt with a lot of things emotionally, mentally and physically. None of which I can talk to him about because he changes the subject. He has told me once I “get big” that he will no longer have sex with me because “it’s weird”. Anytime I mention any cravings, any doctors appointments, or anything, he changes the subject or avoids it altogether. Any time I post on Instagram about the progress in the pregnancy, he doesn’t like it (he likes every single thing I post). He makes me feel like a spectacle, like IM weird. He makes me feel uncomfortable the bigger my belly gets because I feel hideous to him. Simply because of the way he acts. I asked him to rub lotion on me but he will only rub lotion on my legs, again because “it’s weird”. I’m saying all of this to show guys out there the other side of the fence. He is in no way supportive. We’re getting ready to move across the country together (from Alabama to California), and i will have no family or friends there. No one other than him. I asked if he would go in the delivery room with me (and just stay by my shoulders because I don’t want him to see anything) and he said no. So I’ll have to go in there by myself.

If you really care about the girl, I think you should make it a point to be supportive. To let her know that you’re in her corner. And don’t just think about yourself. Think about everything she is going through. Sure she signed herself up for the surrogacy but I’m sure she didn’t plan on dating a guy that would think it’s weird and not even want her to mention the pregnancy. What she is doing is beautiful, selfless and extremely brave. Be there for her. Be supportive. It’s weird right now but it’s also temporary. She won’t be pregnant forever. But how you make her feel during this time will never leave her mind.

[AcemanBK]

This guy sounds like a waste of your time.
Not only is what you do not weird but there's nothing sexier than a woman who is pregnant.
This looks like it was posted a while ago. Hope things got better for you.

[UberTroll]

If you really like her otherwise I think you should try to look past it. I'd even commend her for her willingness to do that for someone else. It's not an easy thing to do. But if at the end of the day it's something you just can't deal with, then it's okay to go your own way.

[Tirana]

Its no more weird than dating a girl who already has a kid. But in the end, it comes down to your comfort level. Tell her your uncertainties before you leap without looking, though.

[MeduhsinMan]

That is purely going to have to be your decision. You are the one who has to ultimately decide if you can handle her choice. If she is the kind of girl you really could see yourself with, I think it may be a good idea to talk things over with her, and express your uneasiness, because not doing so will ultimately lead to you harboring resentment. Maybe if you ask her more about why she is a surrogate, and get into her thought process and try to level with her, it won't be as big of an issue for you. Best of luck.

[AcemanBK]

I'd love to date a surrogate.

But alas. It's not exactly what they post on these silly dating sites.

[Chick180]

What's off putting about it? I'm curious.

[Asker]

She's pregnant with another families child. It's weird to me because it's a new situation. Plus if you wanted to have a long term relationship that may actually ended up in marriage and having a family, then wouldn't it be a little weird that she already had an experience that both are suppose to endure?

[UberTroll]

I don't think it's that weird, it's not like it's her baby and she's going to be raising it. She's just the temporary container. If anything I'd respect her more for being willing to put her body through that to bring happiness to another couple who can't carry the baby themselves.

[Chick180]

Is she planning on being a surrogate or has she done it already?
If it's the latter, I see no problem. If it's the former I can see why you're uncomfortable with it.

[Asker]

@UberTroll She's currently 5-6 months.