I don't feel comfortable around my friend anymore and I have a bad gut feeling, what should I do?

[CNoelle22]

So for context I'm a girl and my friend is a gay guy, we've been friends for about two years and we've had a falling out in the past and we reconnected about six months ago, but lately I just feel so uncomfortable around him.

Like I feel like I'm being judged and I have this bad gut feeling about him that I do not have with any of my other friends. Like when we hang out I actually look forward to when I get to go back home. I know that sounds terrible but I literally just feel so viscerally uncomfortable around him because I feel like he doesn't ever have my back when I tell him a story about something that happens to me he's always like "Well, I don't know the other side" and this is supposedly my friend. He doesn't even care to validate anything I say.

I'm just wondering what I need to do because at this point I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable.

[Rainbow_Boy]

Do you have other examples about him not having your back? Taken at face value, if he just says "Well, I don't know the other side", it sounds like he wants to remain fair regarding your issue with the other person.

But, I do realize your feelings may have justification, so if you can cite other examples, those may help to form a better opinion. Just as a related note, I'm a gay guy with female best friends, so I am familiar with the dynamic you're talking about.

[avery58]

Well you're just forcing the friendship for the sake of old times at this point, don't hang around him as much if you don't trust him or feel comfortable anymore

[Anonymous]

So, you feel uncomfortable around him because he doesn't gossip with you?

Whatever the falling out was, sounds like you never really got over it (not uncommon with women) and now you're trying to find another reason to justify not wanting to be his friend anymore.