How to deal with a sister who is bitter about my relationship?

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

I recently reconnected with my sister who I haven't spoken to since 2022. She was mad at me for leaving my ex who was abusive towards me (she didn't know at the time) but when she found out the things he did she was still mad because "I had someone and she didn't" I met someone else not too long after that and she was even more upset because he is better than my ex and once again she has no one. We spoke a few days ago for the first time since 2022 and the resentment came back when she asked if I was happy with my boyfriend and I said yes. I want to have my sister back... but it seems me not being bitter like her is a big roadblock.

[Finchie40]

Your sister is jealous of you for whatever reason , and usually jealous people are the biggest hypocrites when it comes to other peoples’ happiness , they think it isn’t fair that things aren’t going good for them , so they are bitter about things that are going good for other people (you) , Sometimes you have to just ignore them and focus on yourself , if your sister doesn’t want to be nice to you and happy for you , that’s her problem , not yours. I know you love your sister and I know you want her to be happy for you , and you want things to be better between the both of you , but sadly you can’t do anything to change her mind , you can express your feelings to her , and tell her you are sorry she feels that way , and tell her you don’t feel that way towards her whatsoever, and just leave it at that , start distancing yourself from your sister and hopefully she will realize how bitter she is being , and come back to you. I deal with the same shit with my brother at times , My brother sadly gets jealous of me , because he compares his life to mine , I love my brother with all my heart and tell him to stop comparing his life to mine and tell him I love him no matter what , and that I am always here for him. And try to encourage him to make him happier in his life. Every time my brother gets jealous with me , I throw it back in his face and tell him good things about him that he easily overlooks about himself , so only you know your sister better than anyone else , don’t let her jealousy effect you , tell her things that you are jealous and proud of with her that she is more than likely overlooking about herself. Tell her to stop criticizing you and be happy for you , tell her you love her so much and want her to be a part of your life and keep it at that , once that sinks into her head , she will more than likely come to you , if not , that’s her loss.

[HollyK21]

If you never talked to her about how you felt when she was acting that way then maybe it would be a good idea to get that off your chest. The problem here sounds like a matter of forgiveness, and until you can forgive her then it will be hard moving forward.

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

I want to but the likelihood of being verbally abused is 99%. I honestly should have just posted this as a vent post somewhere else. She isn't mentally capable of hearing any kind of truths.

[noohair]

The only person you have a chance of changing is yourself. You can’t fix her.

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

The only thing I can change in myself is cutting her completely out.

[noohair]

You can pity her for her frailties, and you don't have to speak to her, but she will always be family.