How to deal with my bitch of a sister?

[Cherokeehp]

There is a 7 year gap between my younger sister and I. My mom raised me as a single mother, but my younger sister has always had both her parents in her life. My mom was just a teenager when she had me. Growing up for me was rough. My mom always made sure I had a roof over my head, and food to eat, and clothes, and I always went to private schools, but I never really had a very good relationship with my mother. Actually, I was always kind of scared of my mom because she was a perfectionist and was always eager to criticize me and chip away at my self worth. I have a lot of issues with my mom and my dad basically neglected me and I’ve pretty much always dealt with severe anxiety and depression because of that. My parents aren’t the sole cause of my mental illnesses, but they’re definitely the main one. I love my little sister, but she likes to bring stuff up from the past that she knows will start an argument between my mom and I. Or she’ll just criticize me for no reason. For example last night, I was sitting and having a nice conversation with my mom and sister and then out of the blue my sister says “You’ve always been so sensitive, it’s probably because mommy has always been so soft on you”. And it pissed me off and it turned into a huge argument, because everyone in this house is constantly criticizing me, and they have no clue what it was like. My mom treats my younger siblings completely different than the way she treated me when I was growing up. My mom would beat me if brought home grades less than a B, and would throw all my awards in the trash. My mom would constantly remind me that I was ugly and overweight. My mom forced me into sports and activities that I never wanted to do and then called me a quitter and loser when I wanted to quit them. My mom never does any of those things to my siblings. My mom has literally never been soft on me.

[On_the_other_hand]

There isn't much you can do. Sometimes you can find a partner, in the future, and because they weren't raised in a toxic environment they can care for you in an understanding and healing way. The become your family, your shield, your strength.

My guess is your mom sees you as the proof of the mistakes she's made in life. And is trying to make you a success story for the outside world to judge her a little less by. Those were her mistakes, not yours. You were just born. Just know that all the interactions between you and your mom says more about your mom than can ever be said about you.

Your little sister is a little shit, she's normal. Your mom isn't.

[Cherokeehp]

Thanks.

[CapnHawk]

Being the first-born is never the easiest. The best way to combat your treatment is to not say anything. Once you start an argument, your mom and sister know that hit the right button to set you off. Just put them on "ignore". The silent treatment is the best way to handle this matter.

[Cherokeehp]

Typically I just walk out whenever an argument starts breaking out. But this time I stayed because I know for a fact that they sit around mocking me whenever I do. Whenever they start pissing me they start asking me if I’m gonna cry and if I leave they tell my whole family that I ran off to my room and cry. It pisses me off because no matter what I do I can’t win. If I stay and argue my mom just denies all the facts and tells me that I was always just an ungrateful overly sensitive crazy ass kid. And if I walk away she just says the same exact stuff except she mocks me behind my back with the rest of my family. It’s so fucking irritating.

[CapnHawk]

I realize that it is irritating, but you know once the argument starts, it's two against one and you are not going to win. Just suck it up and don't play into their hands. That's exactly what they want you to do. If anything, sit there and agree with them. That just might shut them up.

[Cherokeehp]

I guess you’re right.

[CapnHawk]

Try it and see what happens. I'm sorry that you have to be subjected to this type of cruel behavior. Before you know it, you'll be on your own and hopefully far away from your family's crazy-making. You deserve better.

[Cherokeehp]

Thanks. I’m doing my best to find an apartment and move out

[CapnHawk]

Good for you and good luck.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Sounds awful. I would avoid her as much as you can. Don’t engage with her except to be polite and make small talk. When she says shit like that just ignore her. You can’t kick her ass she’s 13 and your sis so it’s not worth getting all worked up over.

[Rangers]

I'd move out right now if I were you, your mom is an evil bitch. I know that might not be what you want to hear, but I think you need to hear that because no parent should ever treat their kid that way and your sister being a little shit is sadly normal for that age but you won't have to worry about any of it once you leave.

[Jjpayne]

It seems there is a 7 year gap... if she is 13 she will hopefully grow out of it but if she is 27 you just have to place boundaries with her and if she crosses them you can just go for a walk and or away from the house. You don't need to sit there and take it. You can leave if it gets too uncomfortable for you especially because you are now a grownup past 18. You have adult freedom :)

[Cherokeehp]

I already spend as little time with them as possible. I’m planning on moving out as soon as I get my finances settled.

[Jjpayne]

Hopefully soon it will be more quality time vs too much time

[RHK36]

It sucks, but life isn't fair. Out in real world it'll be the same or worse. You know deep down that it's all bs. People that grow up with adversity tend to fair better in life. Don't see your tough upbringing as a negative. You need to learn how to block that noise out and let it go.

[chris_987]

Lol I’m not surprised you and your sister don’t get along

[Cherokeehp]

Ok...

[chris_987]

I meant that you seem very hard personality wise. Like your quick to get angry, that just my opinion

[Cherokeehp]

If you say so.

[Aloneguy34]

you can tell these things to your mom it would be more beneficial babe.

[Cherokeehp]

You think I haven’t tried “babe”?

[Aloneguy34]

ok babe, what was their response?

[Cherokeehp]

That I’m an ungrateful disrespectful whiny little bitch basically.

[Aloneguy34]

I am sorry. are you serious? it is really a very bad attitude to you :(

[Cherokeehp]

I am very serious.

[COMMODOREII]

That sucks. *hugs*