Im I in the wrong for stopping a friends with benefits out of fear of hurting a new friend?

[Anonymous]

So pretty much I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and enter into a friends with benefits type with s new friend. I had told my new friend annie, I may try dating agin in the future if I can get over my ex but as of now I wanted nothing serious. After some talking annie asked if id be cool with friends with benefits? I never tried this kind of thing before so I argee, things were going okay but I still couldnt get over my ex and notice annie was catching feels for me so I sit annie down Told her still couldn't get over my ex that I feel like I'm using her and wanted to focus on her friendship. Annie Was super mad about this she wanted to help me get over my ex girlfriend but I explaned to her that's not something anyone can help me do.

I tried explaining to annie that I trusted my ex more then my other mother and her leaving killed my truest in everyone. Annie then reply so you don't truest me? I said no I don't truest anyone as I had recently had long term friends fuck me over as will. Annie got super mad cut me off for 2 years after finding a new boyfriend.

I ended up texting annie after finding out a friend of mine may have made sex tapes of her without her conset. she still seems mad about what happened 2 years ago. She says she's never given me any reason not to truest her and that her mom now hates me for breaking her heart. Things wäre okay for awhile but she's still mad i dont truest her and says she xould gice two shitd who hurt me since she's been hurt as will.
I told her if she truly was a understand person she would try to understand why i dont truest people. All of my friends stabbed me in the back close friend runied a friends of mine because he wanted to have sex with a friend who liked me and another steal 4k from me. I feel her blocking me for two years was reason enough for me not to truest her after she promise not to do so. I highly doubt she would even be talking to me right now if I didn't text her first.

Updates

1 y

It was annie idea to be friends with benefits, before we stopped talking she said she had find a new boyfriend and wanted nothing to do with me. I find out that new boyfriend was super abusesive. I do wanna be friends with annnie but I hate the fact she won't acknowledge everything I been through which is a lot and get mad I won't let her help me. Says she can handle dating a guy with issues. It's been 1 year since I stopped talking to my ex girlfriend I have kids with and still have nightmares

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like you went through a really rough breakup man, that would mess anybody up. I don't blame you for having trust issues after everything that went down.

At the same time, I can understand why Annie would feel hurt that you shut her out too after you stopped the friends with benefits thing. From her perspective, she probably felt used just for sex and then cast aside when you wanted to end it.

I think this one just didn't work out timing-wise. You weren't ready for anything new after your ex yet, and Annie caught feelings you couldn't reciprocate. That sucks all around.

If you do want to salvage the friendship, you'll both need to be willing to talk it out without accusations. Explain your side calmly again, listen to hers fully too without getting defensive. See if there's understanding to build from.

But don't force it if she's still not willing to forgive yet. Give her space and just focus on healing yourself for now. With time and distance hopefully you guys can be cool again someday. But no point pushing if the wounds are still fresh.

Keep your head up man. Sounds like you've learned some hard lessons - now it's time for growth. You'll get through this.

[Asker]

It's been about 24 months since then. we did reconnect but barely talk since she's taking care of her grandpa full time. I did end up getting back with my ex-girlfriend but ended up messing it up since I was still in a bad state of depression. It's been about a year since that is over my ex, but since we have taken space from each other and she actually left this time, it snapped me out of my depression

[CuriousHubby]

Lmao dude! Sorry but also kinda dumb you turned her down like that! 😒

She won't be friends with you! She is still in love with you.

She wanted you so bad she was willing to give you free sex till you caught feelings for her! When you slapped her for having feelings it hurt her so much!

What ever happens just leave her alone! It's her drama and she will always get into more of it.

Women like that don't think. She will get into more and more bad situations lead by her pussy!

Women like that chase every crush usually till they end up in a bad relationship or till they are single moms! Which the bad relationship is happening so let her be! Don't try to help after

[Asker]

I give Herr advice she's now spending her time taking care of her grandma.