Should I be mad or offended by a friends with benefits ghosting/ignoring me?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, I’ve been having a friends with benefits type of thing with a guy in my building for the past 3-4 weeks. I don’t normally like doing friends with benefits because I catch feelings but I kinda felt I had no other feasible choice since I’m living with a guy I’ve been on and off with for a good while as we’ve been trying to work things out.

So it’s been going well but I do think I really like the guy and would date him traditionally if it weren’t for my situation. We have a lot in common and he’s told me how great he thinks I am so there’s definitely a connection, We’ve been hanging out and hooking up about twice a week since meeting.

Well the other day, he has suddenly stopped reply to my messages. He asked me to tell him when I can hang out next, and I texted him the next day and he didn’t even open the snap message. It’s been several days and he hasn’t reached out so I’m assuming he’s deliberately ignoring me.

To be honest I am kinda hurt and disappointed. Not sure if there’s someone else in the picture or if he’s changed his mind about our situation or what.

On one end, I know we aren’t together and he shouldn’t owe me a commitment but on the other hand, we have been physically intimate and it would be nice to at least have him communicate to me that something had changed or that he needs space.

I don’t plan on reaching out to him again until he contacts me again.

Now, two questions.

Am in the wrong for feeling hurt?

And IF he contacts me again, should I ask why he left me hanging or should I just let it slide?

[Anonymous]

Your opening paragraph had a big chunk of your answer right there: “I don’t normally like doing friends with benefits because I catch feelings”. This shows that you went into the situation, knowing full well that you as a person are not capable of a friends with benefits, and yet still began one with your neighbor. To me, that’s setting yourself up from the start. You say you feel like you had no other feasible choice, when a choice is living right in your house, trying to work things out? I may be missing something, but I can only go off the info provided. So Unless it’s an open relationship, I can’t imagine how karmically you thought things would end well w/ neighbor. Anyway, your neighbor probably got what he wanted out of the situation, now he’s done. I’m sorry if your feelings are hurt by that but it was a risk you openly took and that you knew would hurt. Anyway, take this as an opportunity to reset, figure out what’s going on with the person under your roof, then end it if you don’t want that. But don’t be messy, because the universe is very karmic and does not reward the behavior you partook in. Thats why cheaters never prosper, because you can’t do people wrong and expect things to work out.

[Asker]

Yes, we are exploring open relationships. I knew the risks and am willing to accept the outcome. I’m not not sure if I should mention him leaving me hanging when he pops up again in 2 months as guys often do.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re very right, guys often tend to come back, so if he does then I personally wouldn’t engage. Seems like once you do, then some sort of back and forth game begins where he’s in and out of your life and who wants that if they can avoid it..

[Asker]

True, been wondering if that would be a pattern which would only complicate things

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why guys able to kick women away :(

[Asker]

Yeah but you know what, they’re always the ones to come crawling back too

[Opinion Owner]

really? (I'm dealing something similar to yours, but he blocked me.)