Does everyone have good and bad qualities?

[LittleOreoGirl]

My mom keeps saying how I have no good qualities. I’m not smart, I’m kinda clumsy and dumb and have issues with logic, I’m not pretty, not slim, my personality is so so, I complain and get annoyed easily, I’m not good at anything in particular, the clothes I genuinely like are not popular or trendy, I talk too much, I’m annoying, and I’m not even athletic and etc…

she keeps saying how I’ll never have friends or a boyfriend in the future because I have no good qualities that people will respect.

Is it possible for a person (who doesn’t commit crime or bully people) to have zero good qualities? I don’t wanna believe her but she keeps saying how she’s telling the truth and how I should listen to her

[ohsheeT]

. Next time your mom says something like that fall down to the ground and start laughing kicking your feet laughing so hard you're going to pee your pants

And then say thank you Mom thank you for the jeans I must be just like you cuz I got everything from you so we're twins.

Well you can tell just by the way your mom talks to you that her parents did the same thing to her and didn't teach your love didn't teach her respect your kindness

I think it's a form of manipulation I think you're probably a beautiful girl and she probably jealous and a lot of different ways and if she can beat you down then that's what makes her feel good about herself is being better or something like that which there is no such thing but it could have been but she blew that a long time ago when she forgot how to teach you love she'll never get there but you can just believe in yourself it doesn't matter what she thinks what she believes down deep she doesn't even know who you are she just thinks she does and you allow that to happen so don't..

Propaganda negatives loud mouths it takes 14 days to brainwash somebody into believing whatever you want them to she thinks that she says it enough times you're going to believe it and then you're going to live all your life with her because you don't have anybody and you're going to take care of her... What matters in this world is what you believe what it doesn't matter what anybody else believes

And I don't think she's ever going to stop not unless every time she says something like that you have to smile and say thank you I got it from you let her start thinking about it

When she said something to you say you know what I was going to ask you about that I see you acting the same way or doing the same thing I got it from you you know

[RavVid]

Your mom seems to bullying you and it is not so surprising, if you are getting negativity at home, that you don't see yourself in a positive light. It comes across that you are negative towards yourself.

Your negative view of yourself is your major handicap. If you don't murder and bully than there will be good qualities about you. I'm guessing you are still at school - correct me if am wrong.

It is quite possible to improve yourself as well. You can get better with logic if that is genuinely a problem for example.

Rather than change every thing at once, I'd suggest pick one thing. The main reason I am suggesting one thing is that will give you confidence. It is also a skill we all need to change as we get older.

So pick one or two things to work one. OK you are not slim but you can lose weight and it is a matter of eating less carbs and exercising more. It is quite achievable.

Logic is another. It might be you don't see your moms logic or disagree with it. But maybe you reason from feelings which is not logic.

It must be something that you can feel pride in achieving. if you get a few accomplishments under your belt you will start feeling better about your self.

[DishLady]

Moms tend to be a little harsh on their kids. They hit "critical mode" and it's hard for them to turn it off. I remember asking my mom to PLEASE find one positive to tell me. Her answer? "Hmm... well, SOMETIMES you're funny." Meanwhile I had a long history of report cards and and stuff I earned and gave her JUST to see her feel happy about me... and she never was. Not in front of me anyway. When she passed on, though, I learned that she used to brag about me to her friends and neighbors ALL the time.

It's not how I raise mine... They hear ONE GOOD thing whenever I know I have to let them know about one bad thing... Balance is important.

OF COURSE YOU HAVE GOOD QUALITIES, girl... Your mom probably assumes you know what they are.

If you're struggling with it, you can talk to her... OR you can make a list and keep it in your desk (or phone) to remember your great qualities, ok?

[RavVid]

That was a little sad wrt to your recollection. Prince Phillip sad he tried to make each of his children feel they were good at something. Fortunately for me was in a series of little ponds so it was easy to be a big fish.

[HelpfulWoman]

fyi your mum is an ASSHOLE, just like mine was.
You WILL have good qualities.

[LittleOreoGirl]

She’s normally ok but sometimes when she gets mad she gets like this and it annoys me

My mom spoils me, spends time with me and stuff but when she’s mad or annoyed she gets like this

She said if something bothers me I should tell her but when I tell her she’s all “but I’m telling the truth”

[HelpfulWoman]

being mad doesn't excuse her mentally abusing you this way.
you're not her emotional punching bag. you are her child, and her neglecting her role as a parent isn't something you need to take seriously.
My mother was exactly the same way, especially with twisting whatever I told her bothered me.
You aren't just bad qualities. You do matter and do have good qualities. I'm sorry your mother is that way.

[LittleOreoGirl]

She’s been getting mad at so often these days and it’s annoying

I have a slow brain and I’m kinda dumb but I get even more stupid when she’s around, especially after she’s just yelled at me :(

There was a summer where I barley saw her and tbh it was the best summer ever

[Makeushiver]

Stop listening to your Mom to start with. I'm not sure what the situation in full is but the characteristics you describe is not parenting - or if it is biologically than it's toxic. Oddly, some of the worse parenting tropes one sees the most of are the reverse of what you're describing. I often see problems like classes where the worst grade given is a "B" so instructors don't have to listen to an earful about how "little Suzy won't be able to get into an Ivy league school" or you didn't come in last place, you were just 17th best out of a group of 16. Don't believe what she says and try to cultivate an adult mentor who you admire and listen to them. Your mother sounds like she is deeply unhappy and insecure.

[Yannae]

It honestly breaks my heart that you are wondering this and have to ask. Yes, everyone has good and bad qualities.
Your mom's bad quality is that she seems to like to bring her kid down, the last person to do that, they should be supporting you but she's breaking you down. She's not considerate of what those words can do to a person.

A good quality you showed here is that you're persistent. Besides the insults your mom throws at you, you keep fighting on, by asking this question. Stubbornness / Perseverance , right? That's good. Very good.

[RingOfFire]

I can't imagine a mother telling me this. That is just about the coolest thing I could think a mother could say to a child.

Don't listen to her. That is completely wrong.

Yes everyone has both good and bad qualities and you are not an exception because no human being is an exception to that rule.

What your mother is doing to you is cruel. I can promise you you have good qualities, and probably many of them. Just reading what you have written and the humbleness that shows through is a wonderful quality all by itself.

[RingOfFire]

It's the *cruelest* thing a mother could do to you.

[DrPepper12]

She's toxic. Get out to college if you can. Ex HS teacher here. I've had THOUSANDS of teens so I know you. Yes, you have great qualities! There is ALWAYS positivity in a person. I've struggled at times with some really fucked up students who made my life miserable but I always found redeeming qualities. Who TF cares what she says? Be you! You have unique skills, observations and contributions to make. You're gonna be great!!! 💯

[dean53AU]

I've probably got way more bad ones than good ones but I think your mum has a few issues of her own and taking them out on you.
Don't worry your still young and have lots of time left to personally gain more good ones

[LittleOreoGirl]

She’s normally ok but sometimes when she gets mad she gets like this and it annoys me

[dean53AU]

Hopefully she will stop saying mean comments like that you soon, in the mean just try focus on your own life and feeling good about yourself

[LiamJHayden]

You have a least one good quality that is easy to identify: patience with obnoxiously rude people. A parent is supposed to nurture, not tear down.

I suspect you have far more than just the one that is glaringly obvious.

[dragoblack]

Yes, it's just a matter of acknowledging the bad ones and working on reducing the amount of them. It will never be "0", but it's better than having a lot of them. And the ones left, just try to reduce them to as low as you can.

[DJB72]

Everyone has good and bad. Although it sounds like your mum may be an exception if she can be so negative to you.

[ChiTown33]

Most people are mixed bags yes. Some have more good points then bad. Others have more bad points than good.

[Fireguy17]

you betcha.
I can be the best friend you have ever had, or your worst enemy.

[BLP11520]

You have quality yet to be discovered. Some people get off to a slow start. I started slow, 4 years in the USAF helped me become a man and a decent person

[OddBeMe]

Jesus. Thats one toxic bitch. Dont listen and know she’s prob has a mental disorder.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Don't listen to her I'm sure you have plenty of good qualities

[zombiewoof]

of course we do, hopefully we have more good than bad

[ProbablyClueless]

We're all a mix of good and bad

[andy530]

Yes everyone has both

[shortster]

You have good qualities. Just like everyone else.

[Predetor]

Да, я думаю, ты в порядке. ты кто-то