My deceased best friend’s mom acted strange the last time I visited her. Should I avoid her or keep in touch?

[Anonymous]

My best friend died 2 years ago. I live in a different state now because of work, but I visit my hometown from time to time and when I do come back, I try to check on his mom.

On my most recent visit, she asked me to come over for a pool party. When I arrived, I rang the door bell. 2 minutes later, I texted her and she replied that she was coming. When she answers the door, she says, “Sorry! I was on the toilet!” And laughs obnoxiously. I pet her dogs and we chat for a bit, then I had to go pee. When I entered the guest bathroom, it smelled like death. I didn’t think she would blow up this bathroom knowing she had guests coming. When I got out, she laughed again. I didn’t find it funny.

Later in the night while we were in the pool, she was talking about finding a new man because she’s divorced. Hopefully someone that doesn’t have debt. I told her I’m about to be debt free, figuring she’d be happy for me. But she got mad, said she thought my dad raised me better, and bragged about how she completed the Ramsey plan so I need to do it too.

What she doesn’t know is that my dad lied to me about saving money for me to go to college. In 5th grade, he promised me that my college would be fully funded. It turns out that he only had $2k saved up and I didn’t find out the exact amount until after I graduated. All I knew is that it was either drop out or get a loan to finish. I chose the loan, I have a high-paying job, and I’m almost done.

After flying back home, I checked Instagram, and she posted stories shading me saying that I need to move to Kansas and get 7 roommates to get rid of my debt. I have a soft spot for her because she is my best friend’s mom and she went through a divorce not too long after he passed. I get it’s a lot emotionally, but that doesn’t give her the right to treat me like she did. I’ll be back in town for Thanksgiving, should I check in or avoid her?

[petitedollbabee]

Avoid her during your next visit and see how she reacts.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, honestly I'd avoid checking in on your friend's mom for now. Sounds like she's going through some stuff and taking it out on you, which ain't cool.

That whole pool party interaction was majorly disrespectful - blowing up the bathroom, laughing at you, then getting aggro about money stuff that's none of her business. Huge red flag behavior.

The Instagram shady posting is the nail in the coffin. She clearly has issues she needs to work out and you shouldn't subject yourself to that venom, ya feel? Your mental health comes first.

Maybe send her a quick text just saying you're in town for a visit, but keep it brief. No need to go over or get sucked into more drama if she tries to start something.

You paid your dues being supportive after your bro passed. But you don't deserve to be treated like crap because she's going through it. Protect your peace king!

Hit me up if you need anything while you're visiting fam. We'll get the squad together and show you a good time away from all that hassle.

[Drumlin2001]

It feels like she's lonely and bitter, having lost her son and marriage. I'd give her a chance but be clear with her that you don't appreciate her behaviour and that you will cut contact if she continues in the same way.