Should I live with mom at age 27 or move out?

Question

My mom moved to a very far city 2 hours away from my job. The commute is costly so I’m not saving any money on rent.
my mom rented a senior apt and it’s only one bedroom and I have no bedroom. The one bedroom we have is like a storage as my moms a hoarder and she is now having boxes of stuff taking up space in the room & all her million of clothes on the floor.

she’s not organized. I have no privacy. My siblings all moved out early as they got married & im living with mom as I still am not married nor ever had a boyfriend.
she’s very controlling & says I’m a bad daughter or that I’m abandoning her if I move out.
I want rent a studio apt near my job and I start school Dec , & school is 10 min away from job.
even tho I don’t have a husband and babies yet , i desire decorate my home for Christmas , Halloween , etc for first time every finally at age 27/28. 😔

I feel empty & hallow.
I’m a minimulist too and I feel depresed

Makeushiver · Accepted Answer

. The first thing to do, tomorrow, is to look for a therapist. It sounds like you are a bit directionless and there are people and medications that can help. Don't try to think or fix everything right now ot it will seem overwhelming, take the steps necessary to do what you want but start doing instead of thinking. This will not be easy. Don't expect your Mother's support, she has a vested interest in you failing. Don't coiunt on your siblings support, they too have a vested interest in you failing. It is going to require a degree of strength and self-confidence that you may not feel up to. Doing things will allow you to feel a sense of agency, of control of your own destiny. If you think you need to in order to find a job you want, find an affordable school, Community College or night classes and start towards your eventual dream It sounds like money will be an issue soi find a job, part time if necessary, benefits if possible. Whatever you want to do in the long run, you need to start now. If you want to be an attorney than start the process to law school. If you believe or you hear- from your Mother most likely, "you're too old to start studying for a law degree. If it takes 8 years to complete, you will have a law- or anything you want- at age 35. So you will be 35 one way or another, either 35 with a marketable degree or 35 and still living with Mom. I'm sure she will encourage you to move out and get on with your own life. If you have27 is getting a little bit old for living with Mom,. Unless she needs assistance or it's a break between jobs and you want to save a bit on rent. I'm sorry, I hadn't read your entire message and already decided I had an opinion. It sounds like a pretty toxic environment. She sounds manipulative and likely knows quite well what she's saying because she doesn't want to be alone,
My suggestion would be to talk to siblings to tell them that you are moving out so any Mom, responsibilities should be shared among all of them. If they whine that they have families that nee their attention you can tell them you've shouldered this burden on your own for long enough and you are still willing to help just not be the only "mom-sitter" in the family. If your Mom has friends she hasn't stayed in touch with perhaps call them and tell them she would like company. It doesn't sound as if you have a built in support group maybe a therapist can advise on some group support You are going to need to follow a path that is difficult and it sounds like you may have chosen the easier way in the past. There is no reason you cannot do this. You might need to bite the bullet, be unpopular with your family. I suspect that much of your depression stems from low self-esteem. The one comforting thing to keep in mind as you go through difficult decisions and jobs is that you are earning self-esteem that will feel pretty damn good down the road.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I'd move out and learn to live on your own if you can swing it financially. if that takes some time, so be it. you being youngest, are being controlled by mom and she is worried about herself and her well being. you need to establish yourself and build your own life.

doesn't mean abandon mom, so try to give her some security and support (emotionally , etc..). family is importnat, don't blow bridges. Encourage mom to find new friends and social so she isn't alone.

Change is hard.

elizamichale1 · Accepted Answer

I feel sorry for u honey n u should definitely move out... but if the things were normal n without any problems there's nothing wrong living with ur parents...

I still live with my parents n i m married n hav 2 boys as well..

My parents insisted me n my brothers to keep living with them.. n after some time we agreed n still live with them but we contribute towards the expenses n everything though

red-lipstick-girl · Accepted Answer

I think it's time for you to move. I live with my family and sometimes I have problems because controllers say if you have money, move. I don't have money to move right now.

DJB72 · Answer

Good grief you  need  to leave! Ok, I left home at 19 (while I still knew everything), but now I'm 52 and my mum developed dementia and I  had  to move us in together because I don't have any surviving sibling to take her I'm very glad for the last 30 years. I met my wife when I was 30.  Get out. Get your life sorted so that if your mum's health deteriorates you have a valid argument with your siblings that you waited until now to leave so you've  already done your turn caring for her.  Otherwise you'll get stuck for the rest of your life.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Unfortunately, your not there to make your mom happy all the time. Besides she'll survive if you move out. If you can afford an apartment on your own, I think you should try. You may also find it easier to find someone to marry if you have your own place.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I feel like you'd be insane to not move out. Roommates are easy enough to find (if you even need one) and you'll be free of the hoarding.

MicahRaine · Answer

Just leave. I learned the hard way that some moms take every opportunity to destroy even while saying "I want the best for you"

FunkyMonkee · Answer

In your case, move out!! She's an anchor around your neck!!

LiamJHayden · Answer

"The commute is costly so I’m not saving any money on rent." There is your answer. Get your own place.

Ironco · Answer

Cut the cord already, and move out. You're pushing 30. You should know better by now.  Might be harsh to hear, but maybe you need to hear it

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

You should stack you money and move out when your ready. This world is no joke and things are expensive in Cali just how they are in New York

Jerre · Answer

I believe you shud find an apt closer to your job. Time to leave your mom.

MK1997 · Answer

What's best for you.  Don't listen to people

MrPiercedD · Answer

From what you are writing, you should move out years ago...

CVNT5 · Answer

move out.  if you can't: make it your goal to do so.

noohair · Answer

Move out. You are not growing in this situation.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I DIDN'T MOVE OUT TILL LATE IN LIFE & IT WAS A HUGE HUGE MISTAKE  IF I HAD TO DO IT OVER AGAIN ID RATHER SLEEP IN A DUMPSTER

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Only you know what’s best for you. Move out, or don’t. We are in no position to comment on the matter

slatyb · Answer

No, you should live close to your job.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You should have been out by 21.

20yearsolder · Answer

You're 27, time to experience life on your own

Finchie40 · Answer

You are an adult so you can do what’s best for you

Open-minded99 · Answer

Move out and enjoy life

Straight2thepoint · Answer

Looser. lol

eagle1951 · Answer

live with her

Should I live with mom at age 27 or move out?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should I live with mom at age 27 or move out?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.