Why are we desperate for friendships when we're much younger?

[Danielle93]

With much younger folks, they tend to focus on getting approval from others and gaining new friendships. Once much older, that doesn't matter anymore. You won't ever see most of those people anyway. They don't care about your health nor life.

When younger, they're so desperate that they would do stupid things to gain a friend or join a club. An example is someone at school telling you ''Just steal for me and I'll be your friend''. They weren't even accepting who you are from the beginning? Even if that person becomes your friend after a dare, it's a fake friendship anyway. They still don't like you. They're faking it.

So why are we desperate for friendships (to the point we would accept it for a dare) when younger?

Updates

1 y

Someone that ''becomes your friend'' only after a dare or after doing something stupid, is actually using you.

[Anonymous]

This is the knowledge you’ve gained over time, but you still had to go through those things to gain that wisdom, right?
One thing you have to keep in mind with the youth is that they’re experiencing all these emotions and personalities for the first time. Like at one point may have never cared about friendships or even really knew what they were, then they enter a certain grade or school and suddenly it matter a lot what Sarah on the cheer team thinks about your outfit, or whether Bobby thinks you look nice today.
Sure they may eventually stop caring about all that stuff but only experience will get them to that point.

[Anonymous]

It's probably because going all the way back to grade school your entire social experience is probably school. So by the time you graduate high school the socializationof friends is ingrained in you. But that doesn't come into play so much in later life. I mean you may have lifelong friends. But it's just the natural progression the jobs, spouses, and kids take precedence and you find less and less time for friends

[NathanDavis]

that wasn't my experience...

and the friends from my youth are still the same friends I have today

[Danielle93]

Then that's good. It means those were real, true friends.

[NathanDavis]

yeah, and it happened naturally as well... no pretending, no forcing it either

[Danielle93]

Exactly. Any time a friendship has to be forced by a handshake or bought under any ''I'll be your friend if'' conditions, then it doesn't count.

[NathanDavis]

agreed... that's just convenience, lol

[MicahRaine]

It's because so many parents unintentionally train their children to value approval from others over their own personal achievements/succes in-of-itself.

[MicahRaine]

*success

[eagle1951]

younger , try older

[Danielle93]

yeah if today, someone that doesn't like me told me to steal from a store and they'll be my friend, I would be laughing at them. Having few friends or none is better than a fake friendship you had to buy.