Do we have to not want friends/relationships in order to have them?

As an introvert, I have mixed feelings about this. Recently one of my close friends told me that we need to be happy by ourselves, focus on ourselves, and that way we'll draw people into our lives. I live on my own, sometimes go out when I feel like it. What I dont understand and annoys me is why we have to "stop looking" for friendships/romance in order for them to find us. It just seems like an oxymoron or something. That has lead me to just keep on keeping to myself and avoiding society for some reason, like APD. Like dont even think about friendship/romance. I keep suppressing my interest in people too. Its like "hey im not looking, not expecting you to talk to me or anything so I'll just casually sit in this corner with headphones listening to My Bloody Valentine". I dont get it. In 7 months, I will be 30. So can something random, spontaneous, unexpected happen already or do I have to keep ceaselessly existing watching all these years fly by? I feel like I'm becoming Joker

Do we have to not want friends/relationships in order to have them?
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