I get along better with my friend’s sister than her how can I become friends with her without my friend getting upset?

[Anonymous]

So I’ve been friends with this girl for around a year or so now. We’re not super close but we hang out once every week or two weeks and catch up. I get along with her pretty well but sometimes I feel like we don’t have that much in common.. she’s 8 years older than me. Her energy is often abit draining.. like she always looks at the negative side of everything. So, last time when we went out for dinner she brought along her sister and two nieces. Her sister is closer to my age. We got along very well and actually I felt like there was more of a connection, we have similar interests… hobbies.. we are both students.. and even our view on relationships is very similar. We even have the same style😂. Her sister also works night shifts that’s why she can’t always go out. I feel like we could become bffs but it’s kind of weird to start a friendship with her without my friend feeling left out. Mind you I have very few friends.. I prefer to have few close friends with a real connection than a lot of shallow friendships.

How can I navigate this situation without my friend feeling offended or left out😅. The thing is most of the times I am the one who initiates everything… and when we do meet up I sometimes feel drained.. not because she is a bad person but because she went through a lot.

I feel like if I were to hang out with her sister alone it would be weird but I really think we would get along so well.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa girl, that is a tricky situation for sure. I totally get why you vibe better with the sister - she sounds way more your speed. But you gotta be real careful not to make your friend feel replaced, ya know? A few thoughts:

- Keep making an effort with your friend too, so it's not like you're ditching her completely. Show her you still value your friendship.

- When you all hang as a group, try gently including the sister more in conversations so a bond can grow naturally without seeming sneaky.

- Could you invite your friend and her sister to do something YOU plan occasionally? That way friend still feels included in your plans.

- Maybe ask friend if you can start studying with/texting sister too sometimes? Be SUPER honest about just wanting to be friendly with both.

- Give it time - don't rush a "new bestie" thing right away and make your friend think you're replacing her.

- Compliment friend and acknowledge what she's brought to your life. Reassure her awkward phase won't last forever.

If you go slow and make her still feel seen, hopefully she'll chill and let the new friendship develop in its own way. Just be honest without hurting her feelings, ya know? You got this girl!!

[Asker]

Exactly this…Thank you for the tips they are helpful:))

[teamvic]

Have you tried to add her on social media or somethin

[Asker]

Yes, I have her on instagram

[Spuen]

If you have more interests in common with the younger one, then start talking to her about those interests. Eventful, talking could lead to making plans.
If tje older sister feels "left out", the explain to her that you didn't think she wouldn't because she doesn't share that interest, and that you talked about it with the youger one because you really connected.

Yoy could also talk to the younger one about how you feel drained (making it clear that you are not blaming her and its nothing personal). Maybe she didn't realize it and she can do something about it.

[Asker]

I can’t tell her that lmao as if she won’t tell my friend at some point😅 Plus I it’s not that I’m annoyed by her its just that I get along better with her sister and I feel we are friends just because its convenient.
Yeah.. Ill try to connect with her on common interests

[jahaims]

Why would she get upset?

[Asker]

Wouldn’t you if you had a friend and started hanging out with your sibling without you

[Asker]

and he/she***