Guys, Prince made doves cry. Big deal. Have you ever made an opossum cry?

[saraupstairs]

I felt like the biggest turd on Earth. They are the sweetest creatures, but it's something about those barracuda teeth.

She crawled into my garbage can. The only thing in there was a piece of Styrofoam with a bit of Thousand Island dressing on it. When she threatened me with those teeth, I gave her the broom handle treatment. I felt like a monster, so I went inside and brought her a banana. She agreed to let guy-bons be guy-bons, and waddled off into the night with her banana.

Ask @exitseven about his skunk adventure.

All of my skunk videos were removed from YouTube because of some goofy music pirating rule.

Skunks are way cool. They like peanut butter. Maxine was simply irresistible. They're nocturnal, so she showed up late at night.

The robots chose the category, and tomorrow I will be blamed for it.

[lightbulb27]

Even Robert Palmer knows... all those girls want is to eat.. andwhatever else. Possums be possums.

I never had had a problem with one and mine lived to old age, they eat bad bugs in the yard and don't bother cats, so all was happy.

Food makes people happy. My possums happy, never cry... because they would eat lots of cat food.

[saraupstairs]

Never make them cry.

[Dongie]

Awe... another lovely story from our resident animal lover.
I called my favorite niece "Possum" when she was growing up.

She is wicked smart and still a sweetheart at 34. Has a daughter 4.

[saraupstairs]

Your kibble story tops them all. Nothing spells love more than Cece spitting out her kibbles on the couch to share with you.

I'm demanding you read this book. Andy is just like us. You will laugh your arse off.

1. What does the president have in his pockets?
Change for the meter?
Keys to the white house?
His ID?

2. Andy hired a painter to paint a room in his house. The painter said he had to move all of the crap to the middle of the room an cover it with tarps. He did it. Then he said that the painting part looked so fun that he asked if he could help.

3. Andy said he has two tie racks. One with the ties he wears, and one with the gravy stains on them. Sure, he will never wear them, but they're too good to throw away.

4. Andy saved broken plates in his basement, because someday he will fix them.

5. Andy's hobby was wood-working, but he never finished a project, because he kept getting ideas for new projects.

Great comedy is based on truth.

[Dongie]

Sounds great! Andy

[saraupstairs]

I've never laughed so hard. Andy said he has 60 pairs of shoes. Then he goes on to say he never threw a pair of shoes away in his entire life! I imagine that at one point in time you were a kid. Do you still have the shoes? Andy, does.

[Dongie]

Hah, I have caps. Dozens of caps, hats u know.

[Dongie]

At one point?

25 years ago seems like yesterday, and I was 37. I still feel the same as at 31. Mentally speaking.

[saraupstairs]

:) :)

[RingOfFire]

Rooney was a fascinating person. Incredibly interesting mind.

[Dongie]

Arse? Are you Scotts?

[saraupstairs]

@RingOfFire

He wondered about stuff.

[RingOfFire]

That was his thing on 60 minutes. I used to look forward to seeing his segment there every week years ago.

[saraupstairs]

@RingOfFire

Betty White was asked to figure out why a Shepard lost her will to live. She was trained to be a seeing-eye dog, and was forced into retirement. Betty figured it out in 2 minutes. Put his harness back on and let her guide you around the house. It worked. Skippy just wanted her job back. You can't read that without smiling.
There's probably a reason that police forces don't use beagles. A Shepard will take a bullet for you, and then ask for another. My mom wasn't a cop, but she worked at the department. I loved the K-9 stories. The cops hated going into sketchy bars, but the Shepard's loved it.


I told someone on this site about my boss who bought a very expensive Shepard from Germany. She only spoke German. He refused to tell me the commands she was taught. They are very loyal, but that doesn't mean they don't like to take a chunk out of someone's ass. Dogs can smell Adrenalin, that's why they can find the bad people. They love bad people.

[RingOfFire]

You must be aware that I've had Shepherds most of my life. They are amazing.

[Dongie]

How, Sara, do you post things like that?

[saraupstairs]

@RingOfFire

They are awesome people.

[saraupstairs]

@dongie

My next one will be about Sandy's cold feet's in the snow. Cece knows about this.

[Dongie]

Cece is very aware.
She is currently asking to go outside and play. She gets her way.

[saraupstairs]

Tell her not to talk to strangers.

[Dongie]

She only barks and snaps at strangers if they come on our property.

[saraupstairs]

Do German dogs bark in English?

[Dongie]

Freida did. Lakota was half German Shepherd and a quarter wolf and quarter Malamute. Solid white, could clear a 6' fence and was a very lean 120 lbs. Very pretty, he was and sociable.

[Dongie]

He had that wyld in him.

[saraupstairs]

Probably the wolf part

[Dongie]

Yeah. He could charm the pants off a snake.

[RingOfFire]

[Dongie]

Beautiful!❤️‍🔥

[exitseven]

I saw a possum flattened on my way to the gym couple of days ago. I felt bad.

[saraupstairs]

When I lived on the coast, you would see tons of dead ones after a night of rain. I asked a guy about it.

Guy: How many possums does it take to mate?
Me: Two?
Guy: Three. They need one to watch for headlights.

Tell that to your pals at the gym. :)

Good comedy is based on truth.

[SuchSightsToShowYou]

Okay, in Prince's defense, he never MADE doves cry. All he did was say this is what it sounds like when doves cry. We have no idea why the doves were crying, and no reason to think Prince had anything to do with it.

[Staximus]

I trapped at least 7 of them in my backyard in a cat trap and let them go down the street at the park. One year there was just possums everywhere, I don't know why. It might have had something to do with my backyard looking like a jungle.

[Iron_Man]

Those things are so nasty

[saraupstairs]

Doves?

[Iron_Man]

Possums my dogs used to kill them in the backyard look at that face